Nothing Left
When do you surrender? When do you just drop to your knees and accept that it's over? How long can a person fight before their efforts are wasted and foolish? I feel like I've been fighting my entire life. Fighting to overcome the life I was born into and the expectations that come with that life. I've been fighting to prove that I'm more than a high school education, that being from my family doesn't mean by default you can't function as a responsible adult, that you can't make something of yourself, that you have to be dependent on addiction, you can't change your circumstances, or that you only get by on the minimum. But maybe I'm not better than that. Maybe I'm not good enough or strong enough to break free from my roots. Maybe it is too hard. Is being educated worth this? Is it worth the way I feel right now? Broken and defeated, beaten and run emotionally dry? There was a time that I was sure of everything. Sure of what I wanted, what was important, what I was capable of. Now? Now I'm sure of nothing.