lonely nights
blah.
after kynlee goes to bed, i can only keep myself so busy before i finish my to-do list. i can only read so many books. i can only respond to so many emails. i can only take so many pictures. i can only return so many phone calls. and then comes the silence, the boredom, the loneliness.
i think i'm getting cabin fever. i know it doesn't really count as that, seeing as i'm actually only home alone for the evenings, and go to work everyday. but i deal with 2nd graders all day, everyday, and then i come home and deal with a 1-year old, most nights by myself because richie is working really late these days. i miss adult interaction. i miss being able to leave for a midnight run to the store or taco bell if i have a craving. i was so used to doing what i wanted, when i wanted, at the drop of a hat. now that's been traded in for having to be home at 7pm, and being asleep by 11pm as opposed to my old 4am habits.
i hope i don't seem like i'm complaining about being a mom. i wouldn't trade kynlee for the world. and i don't have a right to feel lonely, i have amazing friends who visit, and it's a rare week that kynlee and i aren't doing dinner, shopping, etc. with someone. i don't really know how to pinpoint my recent anxiety. i think maybe i really just need a little getaway.
which is precisely my plan...details pending
after kynlee goes to bed, i can only keep myself so busy before i finish my to-do list. i can only read so many books. i can only respond to so many emails. i can only take so many pictures. i can only return so many phone calls. and then comes the silence, the boredom, the loneliness.
i think i'm getting cabin fever. i know it doesn't really count as that, seeing as i'm actually only home alone for the evenings, and go to work everyday. but i deal with 2nd graders all day, everyday, and then i come home and deal with a 1-year old, most nights by myself because richie is working really late these days. i miss adult interaction. i miss being able to leave for a midnight run to the store or taco bell if i have a craving. i was so used to doing what i wanted, when i wanted, at the drop of a hat. now that's been traded in for having to be home at 7pm, and being asleep by 11pm as opposed to my old 4am habits.
i hope i don't seem like i'm complaining about being a mom. i wouldn't trade kynlee for the world. and i don't have a right to feel lonely, i have amazing friends who visit, and it's a rare week that kynlee and i aren't doing dinner, shopping, etc. with someone. i don't really know how to pinpoint my recent anxiety. i think maybe i really just need a little getaway.
which is precisely my plan...details pending