Ahhh, fantasy letters
So I was just talking to Adryan about fantasy letters I wish I could actually have the balls to send to people. Unfortunately, in most cases, or in most of MY cases anyway, they would do nothing/resolve nothing. In fact, I don't even think that Jimmy, his girlfriend, or his mother have the brain capacity to understand a majority of what I'd want to say to them. Anyway, I was reminded of when Anna (keep in mind, this is the girl who had an affair with my husband, while knowing full well that he was married and had a child on the way), wrote me an email in mid December. After sharing it with my friends, a few of them had some lovely words back to her. Of course, I never sent them, but I feel like they'd be wasted if someone didn't get to read them. The favorite response was from Adryan, so here it is, for everyone's viewing pleasure :)
From Anna (again, keep in mind, Jimmy and I are STILL MARRIED at this point):
i know i am the last person you want to hear from ... but i hope you will find it in your heart to let Jimmy be a father he wants to be one i know you dont see that ... he has been trying to find a job and wants to help you .... i know you have your reasons for being this way i dont blame you but i really hope you will see he wants to be there for Kynlee... i dont expect to be all happy about the way thing are . If you need anything let me know i want you to see that i am trying to help you and him Kynlee needs him ,,, he may not be able to help financialy but Kynlee does not know the meaning of money every little girl needs there daddy you and i both know this ,,,, i hope you will talk to him jimmy did not want hurt both of you ~Anna
Adryan's response:
anna -
1. Yes, you are the last person i want to hear from. Primarily because despite how you've whored yourself into our marriage, the reality is that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. So i would appreciate it if you kindly kept your opinions to yourself in the future, they mean nothing to me.
2. As for my heart, that's obviously something you cared nothing about in the past, so your begging a favor of it now is fairly ludicrous.
3. I have NOT denied Jimmy anything in the way of being a father, as much as it's possible for him to be one. Unfortunately, the definition of a "good father", especially with a newborn, is to BE AROUND to do midnight changings, and help the mom out when she's exhausted and sore from feeding all the time. it's running errands when necessary, and ultimately taking care of everything he can because he loves and supports his family. and i don't consider this a right, it's a privilege. At 7 months pregnant when Jimmy walked out and left us, he gave up that privilege, and maybe he's finally realizing just what he gave up, and that's why he's so upset all of a sudden? DESPITE that, i have STILL not interfered with Jimmy's requests to see Kynlee when he wants to. All i ask is that he schedule his visits when there will be someone else here besides him. Given his propensity to throw tantrums in the past, throwing accusations and yelling at me and calling me names and swearing etc., i don't think it's unreasonable for me to want someone else here to encourage him to behave himself when he visits. So, what EXACTLY is it that you think i'm denying him? what does he want that he's not getting? and no more "just let him be a father!!!" because that's meaningless. What is your definition of "being a father" and how is it you see i'm keeping him from doing that? Aside from allowing him to come and go completely at his own discretion (which i think you should agree is unreasonable, this is now MY HOUSE after all, and has been ever since he signed OFF the lease to relieve himself of any financial responsibility putting a roof over his daughter's head) So what is it? what does he desperately need to do that i'm keeping him from doing?! i'm honestly completely unaware! I don't answer his calls on my cell phone anymore when all he ever did was yell and want to fight. So, if he needs to schedule time to see Kynlee, he is more than welcome to leave a message saying when he'd like to come over, and i will respond with times that will work, and when i can work out someone else being at the house.
4. Despite the fact that the remainder of your email makes me see red, i will refrain from commenting on your offer of "help", as you've helped enough, thanks. As for Kynlee needing a daddy, i completely agree, and that's one of the saddest things about this whole situation. She won't have a full time daddy, no matter how you slice it, at least not from Jimmy. He has created a situation that will make it impossible for him to be there for her like WE had planned from the beginning. That was his decision, and it makes me sick to think that Kynlee will NOT know her father like she should, and will NOT have the interaction with him growing up like i did with my father, or like every girl deserves to have. I can only hope that someday i'm able to provide her with a better man and father that can be the support she needs growing up, she deserves it.
Finally, i'd like to believe that Jimmy didn't intend to hurt either of us, but the fact is that he decided his "happiness" was more important than his responsibility to his wife and child, and more important than their happiness. Therefore, it is not his place anymore to decide what is best for her, it is mine, as her happiness IS more important to me than MINE. So even when it's hard, and even when i'm unhappy sometimes, i'm still here doing what's necessary to make her happy. I'm sorry that wasn' t something that was important enough to jimmy to resist sleeping with another woman, and leaving his family.
again, please control your urges and refrain from sending me any of your opinions again, i really don't think this is your business.
From Anna (again, keep in mind, Jimmy and I are STILL MARRIED at this point):
i know i am the last person you want to hear from ... but i hope you will find it in your heart to let Jimmy be a father he wants to be one i know you dont see that ... he has been trying to find a job and wants to help you .... i know you have your reasons for being this way i dont blame you but i really hope you will see he wants to be there for Kynlee... i dont expect to be all happy about the way thing are . If you need anything let me know i want you to see that i am trying to help you and him Kynlee needs him ,,, he may not be able to help financialy but Kynlee does not know the meaning of money every little girl needs there daddy you and i both know this ,,,, i hope you will talk to him jimmy did not want hurt both of you ~Anna
Adryan's response:
anna -
1. Yes, you are the last person i want to hear from. Primarily because despite how you've whored yourself into our marriage, the reality is that this has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. So i would appreciate it if you kindly kept your opinions to yourself in the future, they mean nothing to me.
2. As for my heart, that's obviously something you cared nothing about in the past, so your begging a favor of it now is fairly ludicrous.
3. I have NOT denied Jimmy anything in the way of being a father, as much as it's possible for him to be one. Unfortunately, the definition of a "good father", especially with a newborn, is to BE AROUND to do midnight changings, and help the mom out when she's exhausted and sore from feeding all the time. it's running errands when necessary, and ultimately taking care of everything he can because he loves and supports his family. and i don't consider this a right, it's a privilege. At 7 months pregnant when Jimmy walked out and left us, he gave up that privilege, and maybe he's finally realizing just what he gave up, and that's why he's so upset all of a sudden? DESPITE that, i have STILL not interfered with Jimmy's requests to see Kynlee when he wants to. All i ask is that he schedule his visits when there will be someone else here besides him. Given his propensity to throw tantrums in the past, throwing accusations and yelling at me and calling me names and swearing etc., i don't think it's unreasonable for me to want someone else here to encourage him to behave himself when he visits. So, what EXACTLY is it that you think i'm denying him? what does he want that he's not getting? and no more "just let him be a father!!!" because that's meaningless. What is your definition of "being a father" and how is it you see i'm keeping him from doing that? Aside from allowing him to come and go completely at his own discretion (which i think you should agree is unreasonable, this is now MY HOUSE after all, and has been ever since he signed OFF the lease to relieve himself of any financial responsibility putting a roof over his daughter's head) So what is it? what does he desperately need to do that i'm keeping him from doing?! i'm honestly completely unaware! I don't answer his calls on my cell phone anymore when all he ever did was yell and want to fight. So, if he needs to schedule time to see Kynlee, he is more than welcome to leave a message saying when he'd like to come over, and i will respond with times that will work, and when i can work out someone else being at the house.
4. Despite the fact that the remainder of your email makes me see red, i will refrain from commenting on your offer of "help", as you've helped enough, thanks. As for Kynlee needing a daddy, i completely agree, and that's one of the saddest things about this whole situation. She won't have a full time daddy, no matter how you slice it, at least not from Jimmy. He has created a situation that will make it impossible for him to be there for her like WE had planned from the beginning. That was his decision, and it makes me sick to think that Kynlee will NOT know her father like she should, and will NOT have the interaction with him growing up like i did with my father, or like every girl deserves to have. I can only hope that someday i'm able to provide her with a better man and father that can be the support she needs growing up, she deserves it.
Finally, i'd like to believe that Jimmy didn't intend to hurt either of us, but the fact is that he decided his "happiness" was more important than his responsibility to his wife and child, and more important than their happiness. Therefore, it is not his place anymore to decide what is best for her, it is mine, as her happiness IS more important to me than MINE. So even when it's hard, and even when i'm unhappy sometimes, i'm still here doing what's necessary to make her happy. I'm sorry that wasn' t something that was important enough to jimmy to resist sleeping with another woman, and leaving his family.
again, please control your urges and refrain from sending me any of your opinions again, i really don't think this is your business.