(no subject)
*sigh*
robin was crying this morning. all i could do was hug her and tell her it was ok. she didnt evem know what was wrong, besides home and a headache.
and brittany wasnt in, so that didnt help robin any. (hope you get better britt, and soon!)
also, andy wasnt in
lunch was so depressingly empty today at our table. it was only me, eagle, heather, missy, and mike. yea, depressing. but we talked about horses and such. haha, poor mike didnt say anything, how could he? we were all talking about horses!! lol
matt hasnt talked to me, or even LOOKED at me. and its making me really sad. even other people are noticing. and hes not sitting with us at lunch.
and even if you do read this matt, i dont care, im speaking whats on my mind...
it seems every time me and him break up, tina automatically clings to him. it pisses me off. and its not a jealous piss off either, it just pisses me off. and especially since shes suppose to be my friend.
and everyone is telling me, "oh you two will get back together. you always do." but not this time. its too complicated and i hurt him to much. both of us know that we are only going to get hurt in the long run, but we do it anyways. i cant take it anymore. it breaks my heart knowing that we can never really be together, but we try anyways. and it also breaks my heart when matt brings it up saying something like "i wish we could just hang out" but him knowing that we cant. cause then it would lead to a fight. and then we would "resolve" it, but it never really was. it is always there in the back of our heads.
i hurt him so much
and me hurting him made me depressed.
knowing that i cant do anything about it.
and people say "why dont you just change your religion?" its not that easy!!! i believe in these things, sure i may be restricted when it comes to dating and stuff, but i believe in everything else. im not just going to drop everything that i believe because i cant date. and yes, i know, people dont get that. they say that if i truly like, even love, someone, then i should just go ahead. but i cant.
my family has been through so much with my sister. and basically the same thing with my brother, but it didnt go as far or as bad with him. and then all this crap going on with my dad. so basically, i cant do anything to my family, because they have already been through so much,
and i know that hurts people.
but id rather hurt people, then my family
and that sounds cruel, i know, but its the truth. i cant walk out on them.
and matt, if you do read this, know that i do really love you. i think i always will. but it just hurts too much to be together. and i hate hurting you. but i always want you to be my friend. i never want to loose that. if i did, i dont know what i would do. i can always go to you and talk to you about anything. you are always there and are usually always understanding. no matter what its about. and i hope you do know that you can always talk to me about anything too. even if im not there in person, or online, i am always just a phone call away. please know that.
I Love You♥
oh man, thanks to everyone that read that. its long, i know. you guys are always here to cheer me up. and know i am always here for you too. i dont know what im gonna go senior year, when we all go our seperate ways.
oh wow, depressing
im gonna go now before i get really really mushy and start crying. lol
i love you all, so much. more than words can even begin to describe
♥ Always, Brooke
robin was crying this morning. all i could do was hug her and tell her it was ok. she didnt evem know what was wrong, besides home and a headache.
and brittany wasnt in, so that didnt help robin any. (hope you get better britt, and soon!)
also, andy wasnt in
lunch was so depressingly empty today at our table. it was only me, eagle, heather, missy, and mike. yea, depressing. but we talked about horses and such. haha, poor mike didnt say anything, how could he? we were all talking about horses!! lol
matt hasnt talked to me, or even LOOKED at me. and its making me really sad. even other people are noticing. and hes not sitting with us at lunch.
and even if you do read this matt, i dont care, im speaking whats on my mind...
it seems every time me and him break up, tina automatically clings to him. it pisses me off. and its not a jealous piss off either, it just pisses me off. and especially since shes suppose to be my friend.
and everyone is telling me, "oh you two will get back together. you always do." but not this time. its too complicated and i hurt him to much. both of us know that we are only going to get hurt in the long run, but we do it anyways. i cant take it anymore. it breaks my heart knowing that we can never really be together, but we try anyways. and it also breaks my heart when matt brings it up saying something like "i wish we could just hang out" but him knowing that we cant. cause then it would lead to a fight. and then we would "resolve" it, but it never really was. it is always there in the back of our heads.
i hurt him so much
and me hurting him made me depressed.
knowing that i cant do anything about it.
and people say "why dont you just change your religion?" its not that easy!!! i believe in these things, sure i may be restricted when it comes to dating and stuff, but i believe in everything else. im not just going to drop everything that i believe because i cant date. and yes, i know, people dont get that. they say that if i truly like, even love, someone, then i should just go ahead. but i cant.
my family has been through so much with my sister. and basically the same thing with my brother, but it didnt go as far or as bad with him. and then all this crap going on with my dad. so basically, i cant do anything to my family, because they have already been through so much,
and i know that hurts people.
but id rather hurt people, then my family
and that sounds cruel, i know, but its the truth. i cant walk out on them.
and matt, if you do read this, know that i do really love you. i think i always will. but it just hurts too much to be together. and i hate hurting you. but i always want you to be my friend. i never want to loose that. if i did, i dont know what i would do. i can always go to you and talk to you about anything. you are always there and are usually always understanding. no matter what its about. and i hope you do know that you can always talk to me about anything too. even if im not there in person, or online, i am always just a phone call away. please know that.
I Love You♥
oh man, thanks to everyone that read that. its long, i know. you guys are always here to cheer me up. and know i am always here for you too. i dont know what im gonna go senior year, when we all go our seperate ways.
oh wow, depressing
im gonna go now before i get really really mushy and start crying. lol
i love you all, so much. more than words can even begin to describe
♥ Always, Brooke