And we were dancing in the dark...
Oxegen.
I don’t know what I can say that could possibly explain to you all how much fun I had that weekend. It was a mess of drinking crappy alcohol, dancing madly, being rained on, meeting new and exciting people, listening to great music and laughing lots. Oh, and getting no sleep. Because seriously, who needs sleep when the best music festival in the world is on?
Friday dawned cool and overcast (how unusual!) and to be honest, I had not slept much the night before due to the excitement of the festival. Of course the working week earlier had dragged on like nothing before and when it hit 5 o’clock on Thursday it was like I had ants in my pants (not my words!). I skedaddled out of work as quick as I could and didn’t look back.
So I woke up pretty early on Friday as in all my excitement I still hadn’t packed properly. I went and bought a €5 bag from Penney’s (Primark’s sister store in Ireland... <3 x 1000) on Thursday after work, and after using it all weekend I fell in love with it... I am definitely bringing it home with me to Australia. I also bought myself a pair of obnoxiously yellow gum boots as well as I was told it was a staple requirement of the festival. More on those bastard boots later though.
We aimed to leave the house around 11am. 11 turned into 11:30 and then 11:30 turned into 12:00pm. We packed up L’s car to the brim (a tiny Volkswagon Polo - awesome car though) and headed straight to a service station to fill up and then we were finally on our way. It is about a 4 hour drive to Naas, in County Kildare, where the festival is held on the Punchestown Racecourse. Well to be honest the car ride flew by for me as I was just staring out the window gobsmacked at the scenery that was flying past me and also the way the Irish drove. It was probably my first real drive out on the country roads and holy shit I thought we had some crazy drivers back home. We made a pit stop just outside of Naas to get some food. We ducked into this nice little bar where unfortunately I probably had one of the worst burgers I have ever tasted. I don’t know if it even qualified as meat.
After stuffing our faces, we jumped back in the car and followed the crazy red Oxegen signs all the way to the racecourse where we joined the lines of cars waiting to get in and park. We had decided to go the back way instead of taking the M7 (the main motorwary, I believe?) and in return we were treated to views of gorgeous houses and cute laneways with overgrown trees. We finally made it into the Red carpark (we are camping in Zone Red) where we were confronted with a few hundred cars already ahead of us, parked and unpacked. After being directed into a car park by some complete asshole who had a go at L parking (we all “kindly” told him where to go), we unpacked as much as the three of us could carry and started the trek to the campsite. It ended up not being that far, or at least it didn’t feel like it. We had to give out our tickets and get wristbands (mine was far to loose on my wrist, kept coming off) and after going through a bunch of security check points, we were finally at the campsite... which was already had a tent in every possible corner.
I swear to god this campsite area was completely full, but we managed to find a small space tucked away in between all these big 10 man tents. We got our 3 man tent up in less than 20 minutes with no help at all from any of the boys who were around us watching intently (all that practice from the big tent on our road trip up north of WA :: flexes muscles :: ) and dumped all our stuff inside before racing back to the car to get the second load of stuff we needed. But not before proudly draping a Ciarrai flag over our tent and hissing away the boo's we got from some of the boys. This was also the point where I stopped by security who was wondering how the hell I got a hammer in the grounds. I told him that the man who was checking the bags let me through with it and he gave me a weird look and told me it was not allowed in the racecourse at all. I told him his security guys needed to check the bags better and tell us that things like that are not allowed. And I mean for pete's sake, they took my umbrella off me, but not the hammer? After that little episode, we got the rest of our stuff from the car again and dumped it straight in the tent so we could immediately go see which bands were playing.
The walk to the main arena where all of the stages were set up wasn’t a quick trek but it gave us a chance to have a look at everything and take it all in. There were 8 stages/areas set up, an amusement park, a huge food stall area that had everything from Mexican to Thai to Abrakebabra (possibly the worst takeaway food out there) to Indian, and so many port-a-loo’s it wasn’t funny.
We could hear Lily Allen playing on the main stage so we raced over to catch her and the rest of her set. She was great live; sang all the songs we knew, was loud and crude and had fun with the audience and sung really well.
OMG, The Script were amazing. I had first heard of their song “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved” just before I left Australia, and when I was on the British Airways flight to London they had their whole album on their music selection so I was able to sample more of their music. These Ireland boys are just great live and it was so cute, the lead singer was so overwhelmed but grateful at all of the people who turned out to see them. They really got the crowd going with all of their songs too, especially “Breakeven” and “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved.”
The next gig was the one I was looking the most forward to... Snow Patrol. I have been fortunate enough to see them twice before back at home and both times they were so freakin’ unbelievable. This time was no exception! I could rave forever and a day about how good they sound live and how much they like to have fun with the audience. These two lucky little cows got to get up on stage and sing with Gary too, I think everyone else in the audience hated them at that point. They ended with their usual bang and I knew I could go to sleep (or try to) a happy girl for seeing one of my favourite bands on their home soil.
We then darted back and forth between Keane and Blur, whilst still trying to take in everything else around the arena. Oh yeah, at this point, I had dumped the yellow gum boots at the Schuh Welly exchange, a great organisation that exchanges a pair of your shoes for a pair of gum boots for yourself and then sends your shoes off to needy kids in Africa. The gum boots destroyed my feet, I think I got the wrong size. I was going to exchange them for a different pair but the tent was closed and I couldn’t put up with them anymore, so I left them for somebody else to take. When we walked by again half an hour later they were already gone!
After Blur (who were great!) we made our way to the amusement park where we went in the most unscariest haunted house ever (it gave haunted houses a bad name!). We then went on this ride that is like the Gee Wizz back at home at the Royal Show... only this one was 5 times crazier. I think I broke my neck on it, we were spinning so damn fast.
Saturday dawned cool again and sunny, however that did not last long. We dressed and grabbed a quick bite to eat before lounging around waiting for the arena to open... it does not open until 12pm during the festival days. We checked out the blue campsite and wandered around some of the stalls that were near ours before joining the stampede to get in. I went straight to the Schuh Wellys to get some boots, I traded in some thongs that were maybe a little worse for wear but the girl assured me they were perfect. I got me some beautiful black Dunlop gum boots. Grandad, you would have been proud!
The lineup today was not as awesome as Friday or Sunday’s line up, but nevertheless, it was still pretty awesome. Here is who we saw today:
Saturday night was spent doing much the same as Friday night, wandering around, listening to more music and just taking everything in and being silly. I don’t even know what time we crawled into the tent but I for one was glad to get a reprieve from the rain that had been bucketing down ALL day. I was lucky enough that my friend had brought a spare rain jacket (I had just a stupid poncho) so luckily I didn’t spend all day as a drowned rat. Our tent, however, was not spared of the same fate. I crash landed on my pillow only to find it was soaked... as was my sleeping bag, the sheets and just about everything else. Charming. Have I mentioned how much I love the rain?
Today also had a damper put on it. We decided back at home to only take one camera and I volunteered to take mine because I am a control freak like that. In hindsight, this was a stupid idea but I never seem to learn from previous mistakes with my valuables (case in point: stolen phone in Nice). I had my camera with me all of the time and I had just taken a photo of the 02 stage and tucked it into my rain jacket pocket because it had started to rain and we were walking back to the tent very quickly. It probably wasn’t even five mintues later that I realised my rain jacket suddenly felt much lighter and my stomach literally sunk to the ground as I realised I didn’t have my camera anymore. I would have delightfully thrown a tantrum like a two year old right there and then if I didn’t have some semblance of my dignity. I maintain I was pickpocketed... it was the only time I had put it in my rain jacket pocket (what an idiot, you don’t need to say it) and there was no way it could fall out as the pockets were deep and had no holes in them. We had walked through a huge and messy crowd on the way to the tents too, so it was probably quite easy for someone to reach in and take my camera without me realising as we were bumping into so many people. I think it’s safe to say I internally sulked the rest of the day. I reported it to the police too... and while I write this, three weeks later, they still haven’t written my incident report for me so I can claim it on my insurance. Thanks guys.
Sunday also dawned cool and sunny but as usual, that did not last too long. Today was going to be a massive day... the line up for today was incredible and I did not want to miss out on one second of it. Today we jumped back and forth between the following bands/singers:
Holy crap today was all about running back and forth as fast as could between all the stages so you didn’t miss out on anything. The highlight for me was definitely The Killers and the lowlight was Lady Gaga. She was suprisingly disappointing... she sort of did more talking than singing, it sounded a bit like she lip-synched quite a few songs (I could be wrong?) and dragged out the song “Poker Face” with some piano/acapella solo when all everyone wanted her to do was actually play the song. So yeah, I was disappointed with that. I was told she was quite good but to be honest it was missable. Maybe she's better in concert when it's just herself. Anyway, Katy Perry was next and she too was fantastic live, really got the audience going and had fun with us too. When she sang Waking Up in Vegas (my favourite) and Hot’n’Cold the audience was going crazy and so was she. After Katy Perry we darted over to the main stage to go see The Specials , but I left the girls there shortly after to go see The Ting Tings. So freakin’ good... I felt like a bit of a loser dancing around on my own but I met random people who where there on their own too and didn’t feel like too much of a dork after that. My favourite song of theirs is Great DJ so that was the highlight for me. They too are so good live!
I joined the girls after The Tings Tings had finished up and watched Razorlight (who were awesome too, even though I didn’t know most of their music). After that we were all waiting around for The Killers, who were running fashionably late. At that point of the festival, all of the rain had created gigantic mud puddles everywhere, especially right near where we were standing. So of course people think its funny to kick and splash the muddy water right into the notsoamused crowd of people in front of them. I wanted to bash in this one idiot who sprayed mud all over us not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR. I have to admit, watching all the idiots who were playing around in it was kind of amusing... but frolicking in the mud is not for this princess, nor the princess’ friends.
Finally finally finally, The Killers arrived on stage with a bang and I have to say, out of all the bands I saw, this was my absolute favourite part of the weekend. They were so so amazing live and put so much energy and effort into their set and really made sure the crowd was having a good time. We had the best view right near the stage and seeing Brandon Flowers up close like that... phew! They sang all the favourites and the crowd really let it rip on the favourites such as “Mr. Brightside,” “Somebody Told Me” and “When You Were Young.” However, the absolute highlight was “All These Things That I’ve Done.” It is my absolute favourite Killers song and the wait was worth it-freakin’ unbelievably fantastic. I have never heard a crowd sing so loudly... but then again, that might have just been me.
I didn’t want it all to end but sadly, it was near midnight by the time The Killers headed off stage and it was time to pack up and get back to reality. We ended up leaving all the pillows, mattresses, blankets and tent behind... something I am told is a common and accepted thing to do (I don't know, was I lied to?). I felt genuinely sorry for the people who are left behind to do all the clean up of the grounds, people were just throwing their rubbish wherever the hell they felt like it without a care. It was a crazy mess trying to get out of the carpark too, but surprisingly did not take that long to get out. We were on the road out of Naas by 1am, Tralee-bound in the dark and cold of the night!
The elation and adrenaline from the last concert and as well as the whole weekend had mostly worn off when we made a pit-stop after a while to grab some food and caffeine to keep us up for the drive home. A short stop and we were back on the road when it wasn’t long before I saw L yawn for the hundredth time... I was feeling quite perky still, so being legally allowed to drive in ireland, I offered to take the wheel for her. I ended up driving most of the way home and let me tell you, it felt so damn good to be behind the wheel again, especially in a manual car. I actually missed driving. And I have to say, I kind of loved driving in a foreign country, it was quite the experience to do it firsthand!
We made it home in 1 piece, quickly unloaded the car and I took myself straight off to bed as I had to work at 12pm the next day. Of course I didn’t fall asleep straight away and had a grand total of 2 hours sleep... I felt sorry for the customers as work I knew I was going to face. I was either going to be hyperactive or downright cranky.
So all in all, Oxegen = best music weekend ever. I could write forever and more about it all, but I think I have rambled enough. It was worth the tiredness, it was worth the rain, it was worth the swollen feet and toes and ankles, it was worth having to work the next day. I couldn’t have cared less... I was at Oxegen.
Oh, by the way, in case you were wondering, I was completely hyperactive at work. Until I crashed and burned very quickly at quarter to 5 and wanted to strangle some kid who was demanding “naise” over and over again and I could not understand whatever the feck that was even after asking five or six times. Turns out it was “mayonnaise” as the mother rudely advised... okay, tell me that in the first place, lady.
I don’t know what I can say that could possibly explain to you all how much fun I had that weekend. It was a mess of drinking crappy alcohol, dancing madly, being rained on, meeting new and exciting people, listening to great music and laughing lots. Oh, and getting no sleep. Because seriously, who needs sleep when the best music festival in the world is on?
Friday dawned cool and overcast (how unusual!) and to be honest, I had not slept much the night before due to the excitement of the festival. Of course the working week earlier had dragged on like nothing before and when it hit 5 o’clock on Thursday it was like I had ants in my pants (not my words!). I skedaddled out of work as quick as I could and didn’t look back.
So I woke up pretty early on Friday as in all my excitement I still hadn’t packed properly. I went and bought a €5 bag from Penney’s (Primark’s sister store in Ireland... <3 x 1000) on Thursday after work, and after using it all weekend I fell in love with it... I am definitely bringing it home with me to Australia. I also bought myself a pair of obnoxiously yellow gum boots as well as I was told it was a staple requirement of the festival. More on those bastard boots later though.
We aimed to leave the house around 11am. 11 turned into 11:30 and then 11:30 turned into 12:00pm. We packed up L’s car to the brim (a tiny Volkswagon Polo - awesome car though) and headed straight to a service station to fill up and then we were finally on our way. It is about a 4 hour drive to Naas, in County Kildare, where the festival is held on the Punchestown Racecourse. Well to be honest the car ride flew by for me as I was just staring out the window gobsmacked at the scenery that was flying past me and also the way the Irish drove. It was probably my first real drive out on the country roads and holy shit I thought we had some crazy drivers back home. We made a pit stop just outside of Naas to get some food. We ducked into this nice little bar where unfortunately I probably had one of the worst burgers I have ever tasted. I don’t know if it even qualified as meat.
After stuffing our faces, we jumped back in the car and followed the crazy red Oxegen signs all the way to the racecourse where we joined the lines of cars waiting to get in and park. We had decided to go the back way instead of taking the M7 (the main motorwary, I believe?) and in return we were treated to views of gorgeous houses and cute laneways with overgrown trees. We finally made it into the Red carpark (we are camping in Zone Red) where we were confronted with a few hundred cars already ahead of us, parked and unpacked. After being directed into a car park by some complete asshole who had a go at L parking (we all “kindly” told him where to go), we unpacked as much as the three of us could carry and started the trek to the campsite. It ended up not being that far, or at least it didn’t feel like it. We had to give out our tickets and get wristbands (mine was far to loose on my wrist, kept coming off) and after going through a bunch of security check points, we were finally at the campsite... which was already had a tent in every possible corner.
I swear to god this campsite area was completely full, but we managed to find a small space tucked away in between all these big 10 man tents. We got our 3 man tent up in less than 20 minutes with no help at all from any of the boys who were around us watching intently (all that practice from the big tent on our road trip up north of WA :: flexes muscles :: ) and dumped all our stuff inside before racing back to the car to get the second load of stuff we needed. But not before proudly draping a Ciarrai flag over our tent and hissing away the boo's we got from some of the boys. This was also the point where I stopped by security who was wondering how the hell I got a hammer in the grounds. I told him that the man who was checking the bags let me through with it and he gave me a weird look and told me it was not allowed in the racecourse at all. I told him his security guys needed to check the bags better and tell us that things like that are not allowed. And I mean for pete's sake, they took my umbrella off me, but not the hammer? After that little episode, we got the rest of our stuff from the car again and dumped it straight in the tent so we could immediately go see which bands were playing.
The walk to the main arena where all of the stages were set up wasn’t a quick trek but it gave us a chance to have a look at everything and take it all in. There were 8 stages/areas set up, an amusement park, a huge food stall area that had everything from Mexican to Thai to Abrakebabra (possibly the worst takeaway food out there) to Indian, and so many port-a-loo’s it wasn’t funny.
We could hear Lily Allen playing on the main stage so we raced over to catch her and the rest of her set. She was great live; sang all the songs we knew, was loud and crude and had fun with the audience and sung really well.
OMG, The Script were amazing. I had first heard of their song “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved” just before I left Australia, and when I was on the British Airways flight to London they had their whole album on their music selection so I was able to sample more of their music. These Ireland boys are just great live and it was so cute, the lead singer was so overwhelmed but grateful at all of the people who turned out to see them. They really got the crowd going with all of their songs too, especially “Breakeven” and “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved.”
The next gig was the one I was looking the most forward to... Snow Patrol. I have been fortunate enough to see them twice before back at home and both times they were so freakin’ unbelievable. This time was no exception! I could rave forever and a day about how good they sound live and how much they like to have fun with the audience. These two lucky little cows got to get up on stage and sing with Gary too, I think everyone else in the audience hated them at that point. They ended with their usual bang and I knew I could go to sleep (or try to) a happy girl for seeing one of my favourite bands on their home soil.
We then darted back and forth between Keane and Blur, whilst still trying to take in everything else around the arena. Oh yeah, at this point, I had dumped the yellow gum boots at the Schuh Welly exchange, a great organisation that exchanges a pair of your shoes for a pair of gum boots for yourself and then sends your shoes off to needy kids in Africa. The gum boots destroyed my feet, I think I got the wrong size. I was going to exchange them for a different pair but the tent was closed and I couldn’t put up with them anymore, so I left them for somebody else to take. When we walked by again half an hour later they were already gone!
After Blur (who were great!) we made our way to the amusement park where we went in the most unscariest haunted house ever (it gave haunted houses a bad name!). We then went on this ride that is like the Gee Wizz back at home at the Royal Show... only this one was 5 times crazier. I think I broke my neck on it, we were spinning so damn fast.
Saturday dawned cool again and sunny, however that did not last long. We dressed and grabbed a quick bite to eat before lounging around waiting for the arena to open... it does not open until 12pm during the festival days. We checked out the blue campsite and wandered around some of the stalls that were near ours before joining the stampede to get in. I went straight to the Schuh Wellys to get some boots, I traded in some thongs that were maybe a little worse for wear but the girl assured me they were perfect. I got me some beautiful black Dunlop gum boots. Grandad, you would have been proud!
The lineup today was not as awesome as Friday or Sunday’s line up, but nevertheless, it was still pretty awesome. Here is who we saw today:
- The Blizzards (we went to the signing tent and met these guys. I had no idea who they were but they were pretty nice... and CUTE!)
- James Morrison
- Bloc Party
- Kings of Leon.
Saturday night was spent doing much the same as Friday night, wandering around, listening to more music and just taking everything in and being silly. I don’t even know what time we crawled into the tent but I for one was glad to get a reprieve from the rain that had been bucketing down ALL day. I was lucky enough that my friend had brought a spare rain jacket (I had just a stupid poncho) so luckily I didn’t spend all day as a drowned rat. Our tent, however, was not spared of the same fate. I crash landed on my pillow only to find it was soaked... as was my sleeping bag, the sheets and just about everything else. Charming. Have I mentioned how much I love the rain?
Today also had a damper put on it. We decided back at home to only take one camera and I volunteered to take mine because I am a control freak like that. In hindsight, this was a stupid idea but I never seem to learn from previous mistakes with my valuables (case in point: stolen phone in Nice). I had my camera with me all of the time and I had just taken a photo of the 02 stage and tucked it into my rain jacket pocket because it had started to rain and we were walking back to the tent very quickly. It probably wasn’t even five mintues later that I realised my rain jacket suddenly felt much lighter and my stomach literally sunk to the ground as I realised I didn’t have my camera anymore. I would have delightfully thrown a tantrum like a two year old right there and then if I didn’t have some semblance of my dignity. I maintain I was pickpocketed... it was the only time I had put it in my rain jacket pocket (what an idiot, you don’t need to say it) and there was no way it could fall out as the pockets were deep and had no holes in them. We had walked through a huge and messy crowd on the way to the tents too, so it was probably quite easy for someone to reach in and take my camera without me realising as we were bumping into so many people. I think it’s safe to say I internally sulked the rest of the day. I reported it to the police too... and while I write this, three weeks later, they still haven’t written my incident report for me so I can claim it on my insurance. Thanks guys.
Sunday also dawned cool and sunny but as usual, that did not last too long. Today was going to be a massive day... the line up for today was incredible and I did not want to miss out on one second of it. Today we jumped back and forth between the following bands/singers:
- Iglu and Hartley
- Ocean Colour Scene
- Calvin Harris
- Starsailor
- Lady Gaga
- Friendly Fires
- Paolo Nuitini
- Katy Perry
- The Specials
- The Ting Tings
- Razorlight and finally...
- The Killers.
Holy crap today was all about running back and forth as fast as could between all the stages so you didn’t miss out on anything. The highlight for me was definitely The Killers and the lowlight was Lady Gaga. She was suprisingly disappointing... she sort of did more talking than singing, it sounded a bit like she lip-synched quite a few songs (I could be wrong?) and dragged out the song “Poker Face” with some piano/acapella solo when all everyone wanted her to do was actually play the song. So yeah, I was disappointed with that. I was told she was quite good but to be honest it was missable. Maybe she's better in concert when it's just herself. Anyway, Katy Perry was next and she too was fantastic live, really got the audience going and had fun with us too. When she sang Waking Up in Vegas (my favourite) and Hot’n’Cold the audience was going crazy and so was she. After Katy Perry we darted over to the main stage to go see The Specials , but I left the girls there shortly after to go see The Ting Tings. So freakin’ good... I felt like a bit of a loser dancing around on my own but I met random people who where there on their own too and didn’t feel like too much of a dork after that. My favourite song of theirs is Great DJ so that was the highlight for me. They too are so good live!
I joined the girls after The Tings Tings had finished up and watched Razorlight (who were awesome too, even though I didn’t know most of their music). After that we were all waiting around for The Killers, who were running fashionably late. At that point of the festival, all of the rain had created gigantic mud puddles everywhere, especially right near where we were standing. So of course people think its funny to kick and splash the muddy water right into the notsoamused crowd of people in front of them. I wanted to bash in this one idiot who sprayed mud all over us not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR. I have to admit, watching all the idiots who were playing around in it was kind of amusing... but frolicking in the mud is not for this princess, nor the princess’ friends.
Finally finally finally, The Killers arrived on stage with a bang and I have to say, out of all the bands I saw, this was my absolute favourite part of the weekend. They were so so amazing live and put so much energy and effort into their set and really made sure the crowd was having a good time. We had the best view right near the stage and seeing Brandon Flowers up close like that... phew! They sang all the favourites and the crowd really let it rip on the favourites such as “Mr. Brightside,” “Somebody Told Me” and “When You Were Young.” However, the absolute highlight was “All These Things That I’ve Done.” It is my absolute favourite Killers song and the wait was worth it-freakin’ unbelievably fantastic. I have never heard a crowd sing so loudly... but then again, that might have just been me.
I didn’t want it all to end but sadly, it was near midnight by the time The Killers headed off stage and it was time to pack up and get back to reality. We ended up leaving all the pillows, mattresses, blankets and tent behind... something I am told is a common and accepted thing to do (I don't know, was I lied to?). I felt genuinely sorry for the people who are left behind to do all the clean up of the grounds, people were just throwing their rubbish wherever the hell they felt like it without a care. It was a crazy mess trying to get out of the carpark too, but surprisingly did not take that long to get out. We were on the road out of Naas by 1am, Tralee-bound in the dark and cold of the night!
The elation and adrenaline from the last concert and as well as the whole weekend had mostly worn off when we made a pit-stop after a while to grab some food and caffeine to keep us up for the drive home. A short stop and we were back on the road when it wasn’t long before I saw L yawn for the hundredth time... I was feeling quite perky still, so being legally allowed to drive in ireland, I offered to take the wheel for her. I ended up driving most of the way home and let me tell you, it felt so damn good to be behind the wheel again, especially in a manual car. I actually missed driving. And I have to say, I kind of loved driving in a foreign country, it was quite the experience to do it firsthand!
We made it home in 1 piece, quickly unloaded the car and I took myself straight off to bed as I had to work at 12pm the next day. Of course I didn’t fall asleep straight away and had a grand total of 2 hours sleep... I felt sorry for the customers as work I knew I was going to face. I was either going to be hyperactive or downright cranky.
So all in all, Oxegen = best music weekend ever. I could write forever and more about it all, but I think I have rambled enough. It was worth the tiredness, it was worth the rain, it was worth the swollen feet and toes and ankles, it was worth having to work the next day. I couldn’t have cared less... I was at Oxegen.
Oh, by the way, in case you were wondering, I was completely hyperactive at work. Until I crashed and burned very quickly at quarter to 5 and wanted to strangle some kid who was demanding “naise” over and over again and I could not understand whatever the feck that was even after asking five or six times. Turns out it was “mayonnaise” as the mother rudely advised... okay, tell me that in the first place, lady.