For muse_academy Week Fifteen Mun Inquiries - annoy your muse
Muse Name: Sir Guy of Gisborne
Fandom: Robin Hood
Prompt Number: Week 15 - Mun Inquries
Title: Silly Questions
Warnings/Disclaimers: Don't blame me for muse's answers. He wasn't happy about it.
Word Count: n/a
1. Why don't we ever drop daisies on other countries to let them know that we love them?
Why on earth would we drop daisies on other countries? None of them have any love for us, not with Richard leading the Crusade. Most think we are a weak nation, still recovering from being invaded by the French. Dropping daisies (how on earth would you do that anyway?) serves no purpose.
2. Shouldn't women earn bachelorette's degrees? What kind of ridiculous questions is that?
Women have their place, subservient to men.
3. If you have to ask if her boobs are real, does it really matter?
What are ‘boobs’ and why should I care if they are real or not?
4. Do the homeless have all the carts with functional wheels?
The homeless have nothing, most of them are just one step away from death. Those that aren’t, like Hood and his outlaws would rather steal from those who have, under the pretence of giving to the poor. Fools.
5. Can a person be scared "half to death" twice?
If a person is so meek and timid to be scared half to death then they deserve to die anyway.
6. If my dog attacked someone yesterday, do I say he sicked him or suck him?
I’d say it was a good job. If I encouraged my dogs to attack anyone, it’s because they needed it.
7. Shouldn't the word "big" be ... bigger?
Again, a patently ridiculous question.
8. Were Third World countries unhappy before television?
What is the third world, and what is television? Get on with it, woman.
9. What if you finally "find yourself" and you're not that impressed?
I suppose that means to ‘accept who you are meant to be’. I’ve accepted what I am, who am I, and the consequences of my actions. I did so a long time ago. I’ve never pretended to be anything other than what and who I am.
10. Do you ever walk in and find your computer processing information? Are they plotting to overthrow us?
The only ones we should be worried about overthrowing us are fanatics like Hood and his men.
11. What does "feng shui" mean in Chinese? Bull sh#$t?
Feng Shui? Is that of Saracen origin? Or further East, where the heathens live?
12. Are spells good worldwide, or do they lose power with distance?
Magic? Witches and witchcraft get what is coming to them - death. Consorting with the Devil cannot be tolerated, and must be stamped out where it can be.
13. So male gynecologists never get erect?
I beg your pardon? I don’t think I understand the question.
14. Is it bad luck to run over a black cat to prevent it from crossing your path?
With what? A horse and cart? A stampede of cattle? Cats keeps the mice and rat population down. They should never been run over for that reason alone. Have you ever had mice running across you when you are sleeping? I don’t recommend it.
15. Why does God put all of the brilliant brains inside ugly heads?
Oh really?
16. Billy Graham said that Heaven is "a neverending family reunion". Isn't Hell the same?
You have met my family, haven’t you? I think that’s more likely.
17. Why don't psychics ever win the lottery?
Again, a patently silly question.
18. Do porn stars have undress rehearsals?
Porn stars are supposed to be something I understand? Or is it just another attempt to make me look stupid?
19. When your palm itches, it means you're supposed to get money. What does it mean when your butt itches?
Most likely? It’s time for a bath.
20. If cocaine were legal, would they sell it in little packages like Sweet N' Low? Would they call it Sweet N' High?
Cocaine? From what I understand that is some kind of substance designed to make you feel... better. Alcohol serves that purpose well. Sweet N’ Low? Again, why are you bothering me with these questions... *storms off into the distance*
Fandom: Robin Hood
Prompt Number: Week 15 - Mun Inquries
Title: Silly Questions
Warnings/Disclaimers: Don't blame me for muse's answers. He wasn't happy about it.
Word Count: n/a
1. Why don't we ever drop daisies on other countries to let them know that we love them?
Why on earth would we drop daisies on other countries? None of them have any love for us, not with Richard leading the Crusade. Most think we are a weak nation, still recovering from being invaded by the French. Dropping daisies (how on earth would you do that anyway?) serves no purpose.
2. Shouldn't women earn bachelorette's degrees? What kind of ridiculous questions is that?
Women have their place, subservient to men.
3. If you have to ask if her boobs are real, does it really matter?
What are ‘boobs’ and why should I care if they are real or not?
4. Do the homeless have all the carts with functional wheels?
The homeless have nothing, most of them are just one step away from death. Those that aren’t, like Hood and his outlaws would rather steal from those who have, under the pretence of giving to the poor. Fools.
5. Can a person be scared "half to death" twice?
If a person is so meek and timid to be scared half to death then they deserve to die anyway.
6. If my dog attacked someone yesterday, do I say he sicked him or suck him?
I’d say it was a good job. If I encouraged my dogs to attack anyone, it’s because they needed it.
7. Shouldn't the word "big" be ... bigger?
Again, a patently ridiculous question.
8. Were Third World countries unhappy before television?
What is the third world, and what is television? Get on with it, woman.
9. What if you finally "find yourself" and you're not that impressed?
I suppose that means to ‘accept who you are meant to be’. I’ve accepted what I am, who am I, and the consequences of my actions. I did so a long time ago. I’ve never pretended to be anything other than what and who I am.
10. Do you ever walk in and find your computer processing information? Are they plotting to overthrow us?
The only ones we should be worried about overthrowing us are fanatics like Hood and his men.
11. What does "feng shui" mean in Chinese? Bull sh#$t?
Feng Shui? Is that of Saracen origin? Or further East, where the heathens live?
12. Are spells good worldwide, or do they lose power with distance?
Magic? Witches and witchcraft get what is coming to them - death. Consorting with the Devil cannot be tolerated, and must be stamped out where it can be.
13. So male gynecologists never get erect?
I beg your pardon? I don’t think I understand the question.
14. Is it bad luck to run over a black cat to prevent it from crossing your path?
With what? A horse and cart? A stampede of cattle? Cats keeps the mice and rat population down. They should never been run over for that reason alone. Have you ever had mice running across you when you are sleeping? I don’t recommend it.
15. Why does God put all of the brilliant brains inside ugly heads?
Oh really?
16. Billy Graham said that Heaven is "a neverending family reunion". Isn't Hell the same?
You have met my family, haven’t you? I think that’s more likely.
17. Why don't psychics ever win the lottery?
Again, a patently silly question.
18. Do porn stars have undress rehearsals?
Porn stars are supposed to be something I understand? Or is it just another attempt to make me look stupid?
19. When your palm itches, it means you're supposed to get money. What does it mean when your butt itches?
Most likely? It’s time for a bath.
20. If cocaine were legal, would they sell it in little packages like Sweet N' Low? Would they call it Sweet N' High?
Cocaine? From what I understand that is some kind of substance designed to make you feel... better. Alcohol serves that purpose well. Sweet N’ Low? Again, why are you bothering me with these questions... *storms off into the distance*