"Do Something To Make Me Hate You" "Um, Go Hitler?"
1. I swear, if tonight opens with a Presidential Address that we're pulling out of somewhere else, I'm gonna go postal.
2. Would anyone else find it as hilarious as I would if the judges were like, "Nope, not sending anyone home tonight, either. Six people next week!" I would die. I bet Cat Deeley would just implode.
3. Which would be too bad, because she looks lovely tonight in her little red dress.
4. Group dance by Mandy Moore, is my guess. She should really stick to couple's dances, because I'm not loving this.
5. Jesus, I"m going to have a seizure with all these random strobe lights just going off. Calm it down, light designers.
6. I have no idea what that dance was about. No idea in the slightest bit.
7. Dave Scott? Hunh. That screamed Mandy Moore to me. Well, you live you learn, in't that right, Alanis?
8. Oh look, Debbie Reynolds back. And they just finished rebuilding the stage.
9. Debbie Reynolds: *chews the scenery, steals the spotlight*
10. I'm so torn. I want to bleep bloop through LMFAO, but if Hok and Dominic are dancing… Ugh, why area decisions so hard?
11. In this first group, I would imagine Wadi and Missy are in the Bottom 3. The other two groups had the two best dances of the evening.
12. What's with the poof of tulle coming out of Caitlynn's butt? It's like she's Pigpen with a cloud of dirt following her everywhere.
13. Do you think Sasha's sister votes her ass off every week for Sasha?
14. Wow. The producers really know how to put together a clip. They grabbed Debbie Reynolds' one moment where she sounded like she was falling apart, and I'm nearly in tears.
15. And now I'm actually crying. WTF is wrong with my hormones tonight? Damn men's PMS.
16. DON'T BLAME IT ON THE DOG!
17. "Zookeeper" is what happens when "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" grosses $150 million in the theaters. You only have yourself to blame, America.
18. Gatorade. Drink Gatorade. For all your Gatorade needs. If Gatorade were shoes, you could wear Gatorade on your feet. And if you Gatorade your Gatorade, you will Gatorade Gatorade Gatorade.
19. Gatorade.
20. Also, Gatorade, if sweating and Gatorade and G-Series Fit Gatorade, and eat Gatorade and drink Gatorade and live Gatorade. Smoothie Gatorade. Protein Gatorade. Wear Gatorade. Go nuts, go apeshit for Gatorade.
21. Where's my sponsorship?
22. This is a tough group to choose a B3. If there is a couple in this group that's in the B3, it's going to be Nick and Iveta (because America doesn't "get" Bollywood) or it'll be Marko and Melanie (because while that jazz routine was difficult from a technique standpoint, it wasn't flashy enough for America).
23. I like blaming America for things. It's the American way!
24. Ideally, the couple in the B3 here would be Robert and Miranda, if only to get Robert off this damn show.
25. Though it might happen, I imagine that Melanie and Marko have a pretty solid fanbase.
26. How? How does Cat always fool me? You tricksy little minx, with your dress and your shoes.
27. In that case, Iveta and Nick are in the B3. Unless Cat fucks with us again and both of these couples are safe. Cat's just tricksy enough to do that.
28. Remember that time that Debbie Allen was tripping balls and likened Tadd and Jordan to Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse?
29. In the grand tradition of ballroom dancers who have to dance solo, Iveta is decked out in boob fringe.
30. Im kind of glad that Iveta and Nick are in the B3 because Iveta is basically a rock star and has already shown that she can be a dynamic solo ballroom dancer. And Nick, of course, because we actually haven't seen him do a routine that's just his own.
31. Dammit! Because my TiVo cut off and I missed Ashley and Chris, I also missed the first competitive invocation of the Hot Tamale Train and the first Mary Murphy scream! DAMN YOU OBAMA! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?
32. In this group, Jess and Clarice are in the B3. And then maybe the lambs will stop screaming.
33. But most likely, that means that Jess will be safe and Nick will get sent home, based on the tongue-job Nigel gave Jess last week.
34. God, watching Jess and Clarice's package, it almost looks like a little toddler son dancing with his mother. He's a wee little homo, eh?
35. Whoa. I wasn't expecting a Ryan and Ricky B3. Perhaps Nick is safe after all.
36. Did you guys see how smoothly Cat segued from "Boo hoo sending 4 people home womp womp" to "WOOHOO RAGE CREW YAAAAAAY!" Woman's a genius.
37. LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE KIDS ROCK IT OUT! Oh my God! That one little girl front and center has so much stage presence! And triple pirouettes! I am in absolute awe.
38. Has something ever made you so happy that all you could do was cry? That's what Rage Crew just did for me. That was baller.
39. Wadi's Solo
Really good musicality, his moves are nicely choreographed to the music. Baller ending. That was actually quite impressing.
40. Missy's Solo
A lot of leg kicking and flairs and I'm really okay with her going home after this. I'm not exactly impressed.
41. Nick's Solo
Judging by the audience reaction to Cat just announcing him, I hope the judge's realize what a mistake it would be to send him home. That said, tap solos can be hard to really impress. He's doing a good job. Some good non-tap moves to emphasize the music. The end was lacking though. As much as I hate to say it, Wadi's was better.
42. Iveta's Solo
The fringe is working quite well. Hips all over the place in a great way. She's just going buckwild, ballroom style. It's probably the best ballroom solo I've seen on this show.
43. I can't imagine Mary would let Iveta get sent home. I just can't. Not this early, at least.
44. Ricky's Solo
he's throwing a lot of tricks but there's not a whole lot of choreography. It seems like he's just making things up as he goes.
45. Ryan's Solo
God, more with the smiling. Does this girl know how to dance without grinning like a damn fool? There was better emotion at the end and she seemed to be more in the music but still, I felt the solo lacked.
46. My safe predictions, as much as I hate to say it: Wadi and Iveta.
47. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CAN'T MAKE A DAMN DECISION, JUDGES.
48. Okay, as much as I love Quest, I can't sit through an LMFAO performance, so…bleep bloop
49. God, why am I so nervous for this elimination? It's intense.
50. Nigel basically just said "Missy, you're here because Wadi sucked."
51. Fuck, the way Nigel is talking to Iveta, she's totally getting sent home. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
52. WHAT?! You're keeping Ryan over Iveta and Missy?! What the fucking fuck? What the actual fuck?!
53. I'm, like…actually livid. I'm so pissed that Iveta is getting sent home. I didn't realize how much I loved her until this very moment. Son of a bitch.
54. Fuck, Wadi is going to get saved. Every time Nigel says "I don't think we've seen what you can do yet", he usually keeps the dancer. The way he's talking to Nick is like he's saying goodbye.
55. Oh holy shit. Was not expecting them at all to keep Ricky.
56. BUT NICK! MY CREYS! He's totally a sad panda right now.
57. And then he cries. I cannot take it.
58. UGH. I'm so annoyed. if the judges could have just made a damn decision last week, they wouldn't be sending home dancers who don't deserve it.
59. You hear me, Robert? Sleep with one eye open.
60. Also, Gatorade.