parents/kim not home so im on now.
ok so for the first time in forever im not depressed (for today) im...in an EXTREMLY good mood...wow omgsh...wow.
anyways i havent been on in forever and i dotn plan on it. i dotn feel liek going into all the deatails but i will give u the over view:
failing math failing english maybe science but my parents dotn kow about teh science part yet. thats why i havent up dated in awhile. btw that top part was written liek last week. yeah so im basically on lock down and its really bad. no phone/comp/anything. and all the work i didnt do this year im doing it over the sumemr even thogh i cant turn it in.
monday: (cried on bus on the way to school but everything changed later on)...DAMN! i did lots and lots of work and im soooooo sore from it. lol. shut up patricia and davina. as a matter of fact i did double the work that i usualy do but its ok though cuz i got paid like 4-5 times more than how much i usualy get paid.
tuesday: cried on bus on the way to school. gave ms couch a card. cried cus CHANTELLE said somethign about someone and i couldnt hold it in and she did it on purpose too! cried on bus on teh way home.
wednesday:cried on bus on the way to school. bacclerette was good. every tiem the audience responded with whatever it was that they say i was like...huh what? i saw people im gonna miss. soem werent there though. saw terrence emile kirk sean alicia...they all looked so cute. kirk went up to talk and mommy goes "TIFFANY LOOK KIRK IS ONSTAGE! AWWW HE LOOKS SO HANDSOME HE"S EVEN WEARING A TIE!" im gonna miss everybody so much. i was textmessageing patricia cuz i hadnt picked her up yet ( i didnt get her till after awhile) and i could hardly type stuff cuz i was shaking tryign to hold back tears. i picked up patricia eventually adn we watched. then as they walked out tears came to my eyes but i had to stare at teh cieling for liek 2 minutes to keep them from falling down my cheeck. went outside. i wanted to run up and...EVERYTHING! i wanted to run towards run away hug kiss run away kidnapp run away ( sencing a patern??) my emotions were so mixed...*tears*
haha omgsh i freaked out when my mom talked to peoples families. i was like whoah. and then shakign peoples hands im liek whats goign on. i was afraid *she* was gonna say "oh yeah i always see her coimng by the house to use teh computer". lol. went shopping for cards got liek 6 and we are now broke from puttgn money in peopels cards.
thursday: cried on bus on the way to school. whimpered but did NOT cry in school. cried on bus on teh way home while talkign to nicole bout terrence. all 3 of us are gonan be bawling so much...
now: *holding back tears* im home alone but i have this feeling inside of me that i guess feels that if i dotn let it all flood out maybe it wont happen. idk. its just this year has brought about so much... everythign we all did...all the emotions all the meteal adn physical stuff all of it felt like i could do it forever (minus the depression) and now its all gonna be gone. theres no turning back. why the hellwas i born if i dont wanna live? im so stressed. betwen mom adn kim and school and...graduation i can tdeal with any of this anymore. why cant everyday be like how monday was. why cant tht be my life. why do i have t love here. why do i have to see theses people. why couldnt i be given a new family. so many people have told me how much they hate my family and i agree with every single one of them. the only thing that i dotn agree with is my dad. but the only person that doesnt liek him is steven and thast understandable. i hate this so much i wish it could all jsut either end for good but with out me beign conscious or start over and completely with new family and everyhitng. the only thign beign the smae are the freidns that i love. ok so now im crying but its still not all out bawling. i refuse to do it. i wont let my self do it.
anyways i havent been on in forever and i dotn plan on it. i dotn feel liek going into all the deatails but i will give u the over view:
failing math failing english maybe science but my parents dotn kow about teh science part yet. thats why i havent up dated in awhile. btw that top part was written liek last week. yeah so im basically on lock down and its really bad. no phone/comp/anything. and all the work i didnt do this year im doing it over the sumemr even thogh i cant turn it in.
monday: (cried on bus on the way to school but everything changed later on)...DAMN! i did lots and lots of work and im soooooo sore from it. lol. shut up patricia and davina. as a matter of fact i did double the work that i usualy do but its ok though cuz i got paid like 4-5 times more than how much i usualy get paid.
tuesday: cried on bus on the way to school. gave ms couch a card. cried cus CHANTELLE said somethign about someone and i couldnt hold it in and she did it on purpose too! cried on bus on teh way home.
wednesday:cried on bus on the way to school. bacclerette was good. every tiem the audience responded with whatever it was that they say i was like...huh what? i saw people im gonna miss. soem werent there though. saw terrence emile kirk sean alicia...they all looked so cute. kirk went up to talk and mommy goes "TIFFANY LOOK KIRK IS ONSTAGE! AWWW HE LOOKS SO HANDSOME HE"S EVEN WEARING A TIE!" im gonna miss everybody so much. i was textmessageing patricia cuz i hadnt picked her up yet ( i didnt get her till after awhile) and i could hardly type stuff cuz i was shaking tryign to hold back tears. i picked up patricia eventually adn we watched. then as they walked out tears came to my eyes but i had to stare at teh cieling for liek 2 minutes to keep them from falling down my cheeck. went outside. i wanted to run up and...EVERYTHING! i wanted to run towards run away hug kiss run away kidnapp run away ( sencing a patern??) my emotions were so mixed...*tears*
haha omgsh i freaked out when my mom talked to peoples families. i was like whoah. and then shakign peoples hands im liek whats goign on. i was afraid *she* was gonna say "oh yeah i always see her coimng by the house to use teh computer". lol. went shopping for cards got liek 6 and we are now broke from puttgn money in peopels cards.
thursday: cried on bus on the way to school. whimpered but did NOT cry in school. cried on bus on teh way home while talkign to nicole bout terrence. all 3 of us are gonan be bawling so much...
now: *holding back tears* im home alone but i have this feeling inside of me that i guess feels that if i dotn let it all flood out maybe it wont happen. idk. its just this year has brought about so much... everythign we all did...all the emotions all the meteal adn physical stuff all of it felt like i could do it forever (minus the depression) and now its all gonna be gone. theres no turning back. why the hellwas i born if i dont wanna live? im so stressed. betwen mom adn kim and school and...graduation i can tdeal with any of this anymore. why cant everyday be like how monday was. why cant tht be my life. why do i have t love here. why do i have to see theses people. why couldnt i be given a new family. so many people have told me how much they hate my family and i agree with every single one of them. the only thing that i dotn agree with is my dad. but the only person that doesnt liek him is steven and thast understandable. i hate this so much i wish it could all jsut either end for good but with out me beign conscious or start over and completely with new family and everyhitng. the only thign beign the smae are the freidns that i love. ok so now im crying but its still not all out bawling. i refuse to do it. i wont let my self do it.