Sick
I just can't sort myself out. I don't seem to binge as much anymore...but im throwing up more. I can't cope if I eat a meal tat completely fills me up..it dosn't work. I hav to get rid of it. I desperately just wanna loose more weight. I need to keep thinking to myself just to not eat otherwise ill put myself through the torture of throwing up...which I hate. I have my four weeks review at the Red House on Tuesday...im dredding it...im not gonna look at my weight....or eat that day....they're just gonna think im fat coz i know they already do...im not desperately thin so they must just think theres not much wrong. And i hate the therapy im doing...a CD rom...it dosnt work..its SHIT! And i dont like the fact that my therapist is a guy....i dont feel i can properly talk to him. I need to focus..i think im gona try and compete with Tilly..i want to be thinner than her....