At What Age Do I Go From "Cute" To "Dangerous"?
I'm not sure how we explained racial differences to our two, it was a long time ago. Primary school was primarily white, but with an increasing number of 'other skintone' children and parents 'school-gating' because we live inner city.
I'd greet all the Mums/Dads/Grandparents as we walked to school each day or stood around waiting for our Little Dears to be released.
Their secondary school was similarly majority white. Though I remember teenage D having a go at me one day for sending her to the school we did because it wasn't multi-racial enough*. Mind you, we disagreed on a lot during her teens - for all H used to say, having overheard our 'discussions', that we were actually saying similar things really.
Then I read this - how various parents are teaching their children that a darker skin is a positive thing - in a world where so many lighter-skinned people view that as a negative; particularly for darker skinned boys/young men. I'm now in tears that such lessons should be necessary. Why aren't light-skinned parents doing a better job? Why don't we feel that we HAVE to, for all our children's safety?
Having written which, I'm glad our two are adults and able to think things out for themselves. Being a parent of young children was tough back in the day. It doesn't appear to have gotten any easier.
Meanwhile I begin to understand better why so many darker skinned people don't actually look at me (or any other lighter-skinned person) in the street. It's not just because, at 6' 1/2" tall and they might get a crick in their necks. It's because they've learned/been taught that's how to not provoke a racist reaction**! It also means they don't see I'm smiling at them.
It's complicated, I know, but since when has 'complicated' meant we shouldn't at least try? For everyone's sake.
Y'all have a good, and thoughtful, day now!
*At the time I'm not sure any secondary school in the city was particularly multi-racial. Things have generally improved as the ethnic makeup of the city population has changed. Though I think all the secondary schools remain 'majority white' in staff and pupils.
**Not that it would from me.
I'd greet all the Mums/Dads/Grandparents as we walked to school each day or stood around waiting for our Little Dears to be released.
Their secondary school was similarly majority white. Though I remember teenage D having a go at me one day for sending her to the school we did because it wasn't multi-racial enough*. Mind you, we disagreed on a lot during her teens - for all H used to say, having overheard our 'discussions', that we were actually saying similar things really.
Then I read this - how various parents are teaching their children that a darker skin is a positive thing - in a world where so many lighter-skinned people view that as a negative; particularly for darker skinned boys/young men. I'm now in tears that such lessons should be necessary. Why aren't light-skinned parents doing a better job? Why don't we feel that we HAVE to, for all our children's safety?
Having written which, I'm glad our two are adults and able to think things out for themselves. Being a parent of young children was tough back in the day. It doesn't appear to have gotten any easier.
Meanwhile I begin to understand better why so many darker skinned people don't actually look at me (or any other lighter-skinned person) in the street. It's not just because, at 6' 1/2" tall and they might get a crick in their necks. It's because they've learned/been taught that's how to not provoke a racist reaction**! It also means they don't see I'm smiling at them.
It's complicated, I know, but since when has 'complicated' meant we shouldn't at least try? For everyone's sake.
Y'all have a good, and thoughtful, day now!
*At the time I'm not sure any secondary school in the city was particularly multi-racial. Things have generally improved as the ethnic makeup of the city population has changed. Though I think all the secondary schools remain 'majority white' in staff and pupils.
**Not that it would from me.