(no subject)
So, if anyone is bothering to read my twitter beyond spamming it with live-reactions to old Trek episodes, I've been going through the normal paranoia feelings of sucking. The thing is, I know they're not true! But it has been accumulating of late and I can't really stop feeling it despite my very own logical understanding that it's not true. I know I don't suck! Yet I keep feeling that I do! Can you see why this is ridiculously frustrating and tedious?
Sabra scares me. It honest to god terrifies me and I never know what I'm going, am I stepping on people, I barely make it in time for games because I live on the other side of the world, I don't know. I am enjoying it but that doesn't make me any more ... comfortable with it. It's very different from any other RP I've ever been in! Mostly it's me trying to get a grip with it and honestly not settling in or not settling well, sob I'm not making sense anymore.
And idk my bff cfud, I feel completely out of the loop lately with everything and though I'm slowly pulling myself back in, I just feel irrational and upset and judgemental over everything I do and finding it harder and harder to tell myself that it's okay, I'm cool, if there was a problem someone would tell me and so on.
God, guys. I just wish I knew what the fuck was wrong with me.