(no subject)
so by the time ia ctually get to writing this i dont even feel like writing anymore.
i did coke tonight.
its been 7 months. ive been so good. no smoking no anything. i dont know why i decided to do it. i was a little buzzed
from alcohol(and when i say a little, i mean a little) and i thought hey its the weekend i never go out with these
people to a party. i thought it would feel good. so i did it. just one bump. i felt like shit.
next thing i know, neil and cindy show up out of NOWHERE. i mean, i thought cindy was suppsoed to be in orlando
or something. we were all so releived, thinking she was gone. guess not. so neil offers me a bump. so i take one.
greaaaat. well thats it. i didnt do anymore. i decided to leave, because i felt so uncomfortable on that
shit.
but why did i take a bump anyway?
I walked out with her, and Jen Waller.
Jen said iw as acting weird tonight...hmmm i wonder why? And then denene starts saying oh cause she never comes out,
thatss bullshit nobody ever calls me. so she hits me back with oh well thats bedcause when i go out with you
we get trashed in like an hour and then you leave and its always so early!!
well im sorry for trying to be responsible. you're the one always complaining that yuo have no money
and you still go out every night, and tell me you only do coke every couple weeks, but i see you once a week
and you always have it. Sorry for trying to have a normal life. I apologize.
After tonight, i dont even want to hang out. Why should i feel pressured to hang out until 6am every night?
I like myself right now. For the most part. I wish i ahd girls to really talk to, not to get fucked up with. But,
I like being awake every morning, and working out. I like having my day to do whatever i want, and actually have the energy
to do it, instead of being too high, or hungover (even worse) to do anything. I like it.
I just wish i had someone to hang out with. We're supposed to go to the beach tomorrow. I guess i'll go. Just to have
something to do, with someone. But i'm better now, I swear. Ive been so good, so clean. Just..livign life! High on life!
I miss my old friends. I wonder what they're doing right
now...
i did coke tonight.
its been 7 months. ive been so good. no smoking no anything. i dont know why i decided to do it. i was a little buzzed
from alcohol(and when i say a little, i mean a little) and i thought hey its the weekend i never go out with these
people to a party. i thought it would feel good. so i did it. just one bump. i felt like shit.
next thing i know, neil and cindy show up out of NOWHERE. i mean, i thought cindy was suppsoed to be in orlando
or something. we were all so releived, thinking she was gone. guess not. so neil offers me a bump. so i take one.
greaaaat. well thats it. i didnt do anymore. i decided to leave, because i felt so uncomfortable on that
shit.
but why did i take a bump anyway?
I walked out with her, and Jen Waller.
Jen said iw as acting weird tonight...hmmm i wonder why? And then denene starts saying oh cause she never comes out,
thatss bullshit nobody ever calls me. so she hits me back with oh well thats bedcause when i go out with you
we get trashed in like an hour and then you leave and its always so early!!
well im sorry for trying to be responsible. you're the one always complaining that yuo have no money
and you still go out every night, and tell me you only do coke every couple weeks, but i see you once a week
and you always have it. Sorry for trying to have a normal life. I apologize.
After tonight, i dont even want to hang out. Why should i feel pressured to hang out until 6am every night?
I like myself right now. For the most part. I wish i ahd girls to really talk to, not to get fucked up with. But,
I like being awake every morning, and working out. I like having my day to do whatever i want, and actually have the energy
to do it, instead of being too high, or hungover (even worse) to do anything. I like it.
I just wish i had someone to hang out with. We're supposed to go to the beach tomorrow. I guess i'll go. Just to have
something to do, with someone. But i'm better now, I swear. Ive been so good, so clean. Just..livign life! High on life!
I miss my old friends. I wonder what they're doing right
now...