I CAN'T BELIEVE I FOUND THIS!
I wrote this when I was 12 years old.
I don't know what to say. I'm filled with so many mixed feelings and thoughts, ideas about the future. I learned today that I'm opinionated. That I judge too much and wish for death, when death is the thing that scares me the most. I sometimes wish that I could take back things before I do them, although I know it is humanly impossible. Sometimes I wish I was free, and that the truth was presented to me. But I learned that is half the journey of life. It's great to discover new things but the price you pay is tremendous. Along with joy comes pain and sorrow, which ruins the joy anyways. But I'm confident that there is a reason for living and expressing sorrow. Every persons losses make a part of who they are. But it's amazing how much of a person they make up.
Life is a struggle of opposing forces. But not always good and bad, because we are all not neither of those ourselves. I believe everyone is a good person with bad streaks. There is no sense upon labeling for that only adds to both sides of qualities. Although people always wish for "world peace", there is no such thing. And if we did have it, someone would have a problem and the war will start again. I wish people could see their inner-selves. But the truth is, I can't see mine. I search for it endlessly, but never seem to find it. But even if I did find it, I would go search for answers. It's never-ending, always evolving. I wish that I didn't judge people for I hate being judged myself. I call people, people who judge, full of opinions, and negativety spreaders, but yet I am one of the biggest judgers of others. Always criticizing their every move and looking for something to say to keep the search going for "world peace". People hope will and courage will help us find it. But it won't, because it will never be found. And it does not exist. But parts of peace can be found inside although the bad will wash and overcome it.
Maybe someday I will be happy with myself and not judge, like I hate when others do it to me, but the search to become a better person is what is life. It's an endless search though, with an answer that you will never find. And if you do, you will be waiting to return to where you came from when you figure it out. Pain and struggle make a person, but strength makes friends. Trust, courage, hope, and love, these are all qualities we are artificially supposed to have... but we don't. We search for these and gain them usually but are not capable of using them, for they are used in good situations, of which many of them are not encountered. My time will come soon and I will go. My journey will be looked back on by others so I'm supposed to make it good. But bad situations make the journey of life never-ending.
I don't know what to say. I'm filled with so many mixed feelings and thoughts, ideas about the future. I learned today that I'm opinionated. That I judge too much and wish for death, when death is the thing that scares me the most. I sometimes wish that I could take back things before I do them, although I know it is humanly impossible. Sometimes I wish I was free, and that the truth was presented to me. But I learned that is half the journey of life. It's great to discover new things but the price you pay is tremendous. Along with joy comes pain and sorrow, which ruins the joy anyways. But I'm confident that there is a reason for living and expressing sorrow. Every persons losses make a part of who they are. But it's amazing how much of a person they make up.
Life is a struggle of opposing forces. But not always good and bad, because we are all not neither of those ourselves. I believe everyone is a good person with bad streaks. There is no sense upon labeling for that only adds to both sides of qualities. Although people always wish for "world peace", there is no such thing. And if we did have it, someone would have a problem and the war will start again. I wish people could see their inner-selves. But the truth is, I can't see mine. I search for it endlessly, but never seem to find it. But even if I did find it, I would go search for answers. It's never-ending, always evolving. I wish that I didn't judge people for I hate being judged myself. I call people, people who judge, full of opinions, and negativety spreaders, but yet I am one of the biggest judgers of others. Always criticizing their every move and looking for something to say to keep the search going for "world peace". People hope will and courage will help us find it. But it won't, because it will never be found. And it does not exist. But parts of peace can be found inside although the bad will wash and overcome it.
Maybe someday I will be happy with myself and not judge, like I hate when others do it to me, but the search to become a better person is what is life. It's an endless search though, with an answer that you will never find. And if you do, you will be waiting to return to where you came from when you figure it out. Pain and struggle make a person, but strength makes friends. Trust, courage, hope, and love, these are all qualities we are artificially supposed to have... but we don't. We search for these and gain them usually but are not capable of using them, for they are used in good situations, of which many of them are not encountered. My time will come soon and I will go. My journey will be looked back on by others so I'm supposed to make it good. But bad situations make the journey of life never-ending.