over exhausted, emotionally unstable with a need for some strong drugs. lol
i don't know what the purpose of my writing right now is...but i feel it necessary...i can never spell that word. i use spell check every time.
I am getting ready to leave for California with my mom and sister in two days...
i am excited...but i'm nervous. i'm not sure why. i don't really want to leave home...but i know i'll feel better if i do....mentally...just to get away from the every day...ya know?
Nate's party he had...turned out horrible. his "friends" stole over $25,000 worth of jewelry and shit...I am so upset. Nathan feels like utter shit...and mom's so upset she can't even sleep in her own bed. it's...horrible... and sad.
i haven't packed for California...Half of me is super excited, i don't remember that much of California from the last time i went when i was like...10... But the other half, i don't know. the other half wants to stay at home and relax. i just...can't bring myself to pack.
I really miss John. I mean, he's here of course, but with our different schedules, he's sleeping when i'm awake and vise a versa.
I really am not tolerating people today. I am just fed up! Maybe because i can see a light at the end of the tunnel...i'm just that anxious and can't wait to get things on the way back to "normal".
I've had a nagging from inside lately...i know "they" are waiting for me. Things have been coming to me a lot lately. I sound insane, don't i??! haha. but really...i feel the need to get intouch with my inner and higher self. I am in need of the help. I've asked for it...but now i'm truly ready for it, i believe. It's just finding the time and the way. i just haven't been able to "connect"...ya know...it's rather annoying. I wish there was a way that i could figure this out. I wish there was a simple solution.
I am going into a regression... of sorts...I have a need to move on...but i'm so stuck in this...comfort zone i've created for myself. I am way too afraid...of rejection...or maybe it's success that i'm afraid of.
i don't know...i'm just...babbling.
I am extremely exhausted...and can't wait for my last day of 3 AM shift bright and early.
John said he wants to go to a movie with me, i hope i can make it work.
Mom wants me to have dinner with her and chuck tomorrow nite and stay the nite there...i really don't want to...but...if we leave at 6 AM..it'll be much easier if i stay there....
i don't know. i would love to sleep...i am exhausted...but i'm not...tired per say...who know's
thanks for reading another pointless blog.
I am getting ready to leave for California with my mom and sister in two days...
i am excited...but i'm nervous. i'm not sure why. i don't really want to leave home...but i know i'll feel better if i do....mentally...just to get away from the every day...ya know?
Nate's party he had...turned out horrible. his "friends" stole over $25,000 worth of jewelry and shit...I am so upset. Nathan feels like utter shit...and mom's so upset she can't even sleep in her own bed. it's...horrible... and sad.
i haven't packed for California...Half of me is super excited, i don't remember that much of California from the last time i went when i was like...10... But the other half, i don't know. the other half wants to stay at home and relax. i just...can't bring myself to pack.
I really miss John. I mean, he's here of course, but with our different schedules, he's sleeping when i'm awake and vise a versa.
I really am not tolerating people today. I am just fed up! Maybe because i can see a light at the end of the tunnel...i'm just that anxious and can't wait to get things on the way back to "normal".
I've had a nagging from inside lately...i know "they" are waiting for me. Things have been coming to me a lot lately. I sound insane, don't i??! haha. but really...i feel the need to get intouch with my inner and higher self. I am in need of the help. I've asked for it...but now i'm truly ready for it, i believe. It's just finding the time and the way. i just haven't been able to "connect"...ya know...it's rather annoying. I wish there was a way that i could figure this out. I wish there was a simple solution.
I am going into a regression... of sorts...I have a need to move on...but i'm so stuck in this...comfort zone i've created for myself. I am way too afraid...of rejection...or maybe it's success that i'm afraid of.
i don't know...i'm just...babbling.
I am extremely exhausted...and can't wait for my last day of 3 AM shift bright and early.
John said he wants to go to a movie with me, i hope i can make it work.
Mom wants me to have dinner with her and chuck tomorrow nite and stay the nite there...i really don't want to...but...if we leave at 6 AM..it'll be much easier if i stay there....
i don't know. i would love to sleep...i am exhausted...but i'm not...tired per say...who know's
thanks for reading another pointless blog.