(no subject)
i don't even know why i have a xanga now, i don't ever use it lol. so this entry might sound somewhat happy, but of course i'm not. i never seem to be lately. this weekend was good, and then as soon as school starts everything goes downhill. maybe i'm being a little on the pessimistic side, but its fucking understandable. today was alright at first, i was tired as hell, but its like a monday. things got really shitty during lunch. shylah always hangs out with alicia and lindsey and bryce since [i'm guessing...] we spend so much time together usually, but STILL. it doesn't give her grounds to fucking ignore me. so that didn't start the last part of my day of well..after school shylah left almost immediately to go to hannah's since her and carter broke up YET AGAIN, so i was stuck playing hackey sack with 3 freshmen. joy. it actually wasn't all that bad, except one [riley] is SO FUCKING ANNOYING and another one [justin] is waaay too touchy-feely and flirts with me like no other. unfortunately for him i don't feel the same. then jake, the other fish, is alright. a little quiet/shy, but cute nonetheless. i was hoping to see wes because i'm gay like that, but even at lunch he was busy with his friends. oh well, i guess i deserve to be treated like shit sometimes. OH, but it gets worse. after school, shylah called and asked if i was going to the howdy dance or the santa fe/memorial game, and i asked her where she was going, and she said the game so hannah could talk to carter. i didn't want to go to the dance alone [emilie and jackie weren't going] and i didn't want to call anybody else to go, so i agreed to go with her to the game. i called her about 6:30 [the game started at 7:30] and asked her for a ride..she said that megan [girl i do not like that's 13 and goes to the lake, total bitch] was going...and they didn't fucking have room for me. i said i guess i wasn't going then, and ran some errands. got home, and went for a run. it actually felt good, came home and re-read my poetry from this summer and cried..a lot :( it made me miss eric and charlie, and of course matt. shylah called after that and we talked a little, i guess i feel a bit better since she cared enough to call. i just HATE being blown off. especially since i'm still grounded and i was lucky to even be able to go..i'm definitely going to the varsity game on thursday. it better be fun as shit too. lol :p
<3claire
<3claire