I'm never gonna be good enough for you

[brokentoystar]

So recently my dad has been on my mind. I guess I'll explain what's happened between us to lessen the confusion.

My parents seperated the day before Easter of my 8th grade year. I had an idea that it was coming, my mom was acting really weird and distant, but it still broke my heart. My parents always faught, but I never saw them apart. That night

Comments

[youmetaxidermy]

Aw. Princess.

I can actually totally see why you feel the way you do, why you halfway expect some sort of redemption to happen. For the longest time, even as much as I would hate my mother for being such a legitimately awful person, part of me still hoped that things would still end up OK. But that never happened. It wasn't until I met you that I realised that I don't have to be completely unhappy with how things are going in my life, and I was finally able to let go of any blind optimism I had. People don't always change. While I never want you to develop the complete apathy that I hold, I'm hoping that eventually you can come to let go of the tensions and just accept that perhaps things aren't meant to change. Yeah, it's hard, of course it is, but it really is better for you in the long run. It's better to focus on the things in your life that still make you happy. You don't want to feel this way forever.

My father pretty much abandoned me/us, too. Rarely calls, never visits, didn't want any of the kids after the split. He out and out said that none of us fit into his new life.

I feel so much empathy not only because I love you but also because our situations are remarkably similar. You just had to deal with your pain several years before I had to deal with mine, and that's terrible. Kids should never have to deal with that sort of thing so early on. No one needs a life of sadness.

You can't really know what's going to happen in the future. The situation may get better, or in all probability will just stay the same. From the sounds of it, it's not something that you have any real control over, so just coming to acceptance about that fact will do you so much good.

I'll be seeing you tonight to make you smile again. OK, babe?

<3

I love you.

[brokentoystar]

I really do love that we can relate so much on family issues because it makes it easier for me to talk to you about family stuff.

I know there probably won't be any changes and I should just move on. I hope one day I can, just know all I can do is hope. I kinda wish he could see this so he would kinda understand how I feel, but I know that won't happen.

I love you too babe.