Lonely roads that lead nowhere...
I've been going to fleet and family services for counseling for a while now to help me get a handle on my co-dependence issues. Additionally I've continued to go to my CoDA 12 step meetings whenever possible. I sort of hit a wall with both, I've been having trouble sleeping at night because as tired as I am when I shut off the TV and try to settle in my brain kicks into gear and I can't sleep. These thoughts are usually about my relationship with Conti like how I could have done things differently or just what could have been, but in the end I know she can't be faithful with anyone and ultimately things would ended badly no matter what. These are roads I've been down hundreds of times, go nowhere, but I can't stop walking down. My counselor felt that it sprang from an obsessive compulsive anxiety basis and recommended I continue treatment with Fleet Mental Health under medication.
Medication is bad news in my profession. I was looking at potentially being down for one year, maybe losing my job entirely, and if I was down when I got new orders the command I would be transferring to could choose to reject me and leave me stuck here or a temporary holding unit.
I've been to FMH 3 times, once for paperwork, another time for the initial consult and a psych test, and the last being the first session with my psychologist. I've been told that due to my job requirements they will try to work with me without meds. That is good news.
I put in for orders a few weeks back, orders I was later told I wasn't supposed to be able to pick, that I didn't get.
My friend Missy, my ex from A-school, pulled into port and even though she was on duty we hung out on her ship and got all caught up. Long story short her and I decided to give 'us' another shot. The joys of LDRs.
I figured I'd put in for orders to her boat so we could be together. When I got to work they told me I had been selected for my original pick, I'm going to Tacron 11 here in San Diego.
Medication is bad news in my profession. I was looking at potentially being down for one year, maybe losing my job entirely, and if I was down when I got new orders the command I would be transferring to could choose to reject me and leave me stuck here or a temporary holding unit.
I've been to FMH 3 times, once for paperwork, another time for the initial consult and a psych test, and the last being the first session with my psychologist. I've been told that due to my job requirements they will try to work with me without meds. That is good news.
I put in for orders a few weeks back, orders I was later told I wasn't supposed to be able to pick, that I didn't get.
My friend Missy, my ex from A-school, pulled into port and even though she was on duty we hung out on her ship and got all caught up. Long story short her and I decided to give 'us' another shot. The joys of LDRs.
I figured I'd put in for orders to her boat so we could be together. When I got to work they told me I had been selected for my original pick, I'm going to Tacron 11 here in San Diego.