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~I've become very combative since begining my tour. Actually since arriving here in Georgia. Seems that at almost every corner I can find a reason to argue with someone or see something in a different light. Even when a few minutes prior I could have been arguing that exact point. This is probably a manifistation of my enviroment. Just as my constant change in attitude is my adjusting to what will be expected. I've become very disassociated with home in order to see the situation in a much less bias way. However, that hasn't helped because I am more willing to say anything that comes to mind rather than utilitzing that brain mouth filter that can aid in personal relationships. Don't really see any way to change what is going on. I spend most of my day at work because when I'm not working I'm either sleeping or going to chow. Actually thats not even true. The only meal I eat is when I'm on shift. I go into work early and stay late because here on the base there really isnt much else to do. I work a different shift than most the people here so I can't exactly go and hang out with anyone. Hence why I stay over and keep my buddy company. He has a better shift but still comes in at an odd time.
~A few of my frustrations come from back home. It happens every time I'm in this situation. (yes, all two times to include this one) Everyone makes such a big deal about your departure, making sure that you keep in contact, what a great friend you are, staying safe and all the other niceities. Yet when it boils down to actually following through most will fall short. From my last time doing this I could name how many people kept in contact with me even though I didnt expect them.
1. My Father: God bless the man that he has to deal with what is going on a second time. Despite what qualms I may have with him at times he does a fantastic job of keeping in contact with me. If I ask him to write me an email every once in a while he will send me one every few days if for no other reason than to bullshit.
2. My Exfiance: She did an awsome job of writing letters and making it obvious that she cared for me. We, of course, have our ups and downs. Sometimes we're great about communicating and others it'd be best if one of us fell off the face of the Earth. Yet, when it comes down to the wire we both keep in contact. If one needs the other it's always open for talk or such. Mostly ( ; She means a lot to me and even though we may not keep up every day or week we always are ok to kee up.
3. Kelly: Don't really talk to her anymore. She ran off and got married and has a house. The whole kit and kaboodle (sp?) which is fantastic for her. In truth though I've gotta say she made a lot of effort to send mail to me while I was deployed and even to this day it means a great deal to me.
Now, I may be missing someone in there. Really though I don't belive that I am. OF everyone that I know and keep in contact with those are the three that made it a point to keep in contact. Now what does that mean? That means that I recieved some sort of communication from them more than once every four months or so. Not really bitter about this. Just curious why people waist so much effort in all the premovement parties and get togethers when the time that really matters is while you are gone. It's like you fall off the face of the Earth with the whole out of site out of mind thing. Never really got it. When Dawn was over I kept in contact with her. Jake didn't really go anywhere. His mobilization meant goinng to South Carolina for a year. Not exactly the same thing as going into a Combat Zone.
Oh well, thats enough of my rant about that.
~I'm entirely happy right now. Well, I'm happy from yesterday actually. I recieved a completely random letter from Dawn. The importance of this letter is that a few months ago she basically decided that our friendship had taken too bad a turn and that we were no longer able to salvage a friendship. The two of us stopped talking and went our seperate ways. Well, she found out I am going away and took a moment out of her day to write me a letter before I left telling me she didn't want our friendship to end like that. Dawn didn't ask for a thing in her letter. She just took the time out of her day to tell me that we aren't where she would like us to be, she was sorry for any rash descions that she made and that she misses the friendship we once had. I was so moved by her letter that I immediately sat down and wrote her a two page letter back (yes, in my own very fine print which would have been several pages for anyone else) telling her that I'm ok with being friends with her. As with all my friends even though life may get rough and we loose contact for a while I'll always be there and be willing to try to pick up the pieces. There are very few people in my life that I actually have to or want to cut out completely. This is normally for reasons of personal health.
~I changed the password to my other account that everyone was supposed to be able to use. It seems that of all the people that had the email sent to them or I told them about the account, only one has used it. One of my people suggested something to me when I brought this to their attention. Not everyone has the urge to use blogs or journals to keep in contact. Some people are better with snail mail, emails or phone calls I shouldnt be judgemental about this. Well, yeah this makes sense. But if you can't call me, email is going to be all but impossible to keep up with everyone, why not just use a central place? This way I can tell everyone whats going on at the same time. Then I can email those who I need to email on the side and everyone is happy.
~Suppose that a big part of what is bothering me is what I have been reading and viewing lately. I'm so wrapped up in whats going on and getting my job done that I've not been able to decompress. Kinda like firefighters, when you deal with high stress situations all the time it gets to you. The more graphic the situation the more of an impact it has on your health. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm more than capable of handling my job by any means. I'm excitied to get overseas and do it. Some of the aspects just astound me. It's amazing how easily people can decide to take another persons life just because they are of a different ideology.
~Kinda calming down. The night is begining to wind down. Not as many people running through, the weather is getting cooler and I'm here listening to some Live. Stewie just emailed me and he gets the prize. He is the first perosn to bring to my attention that the Journal password is no longer the same. I should have thought more about who would be the first to react. Not at all suprised that of everyone who has the ability to get in there he is the first to notice. Think it's awsome. ( =
~A few of my frustrations come from back home. It happens every time I'm in this situation. (yes, all two times to include this one) Everyone makes such a big deal about your departure, making sure that you keep in contact, what a great friend you are, staying safe and all the other niceities. Yet when it boils down to actually following through most will fall short. From my last time doing this I could name how many people kept in contact with me even though I didnt expect them.
1. My Father: God bless the man that he has to deal with what is going on a second time. Despite what qualms I may have with him at times he does a fantastic job of keeping in contact with me. If I ask him to write me an email every once in a while he will send me one every few days if for no other reason than to bullshit.
2. My Exfiance: She did an awsome job of writing letters and making it obvious that she cared for me. We, of course, have our ups and downs. Sometimes we're great about communicating and others it'd be best if one of us fell off the face of the Earth. Yet, when it comes down to the wire we both keep in contact. If one needs the other it's always open for talk or such. Mostly ( ; She means a lot to me and even though we may not keep up every day or week we always are ok to kee up.
3. Kelly: Don't really talk to her anymore. She ran off and got married and has a house. The whole kit and kaboodle (sp?) which is fantastic for her. In truth though I've gotta say she made a lot of effort to send mail to me while I was deployed and even to this day it means a great deal to me.
Now, I may be missing someone in there. Really though I don't belive that I am. OF everyone that I know and keep in contact with those are the three that made it a point to keep in contact. Now what does that mean? That means that I recieved some sort of communication from them more than once every four months or so. Not really bitter about this. Just curious why people waist so much effort in all the premovement parties and get togethers when the time that really matters is while you are gone. It's like you fall off the face of the Earth with the whole out of site out of mind thing. Never really got it. When Dawn was over I kept in contact with her. Jake didn't really go anywhere. His mobilization meant goinng to South Carolina for a year. Not exactly the same thing as going into a Combat Zone.
Oh well, thats enough of my rant about that.
~I'm entirely happy right now. Well, I'm happy from yesterday actually. I recieved a completely random letter from Dawn. The importance of this letter is that a few months ago she basically decided that our friendship had taken too bad a turn and that we were no longer able to salvage a friendship. The two of us stopped talking and went our seperate ways. Well, she found out I am going away and took a moment out of her day to write me a letter before I left telling me she didn't want our friendship to end like that. Dawn didn't ask for a thing in her letter. She just took the time out of her day to tell me that we aren't where she would like us to be, she was sorry for any rash descions that she made and that she misses the friendship we once had. I was so moved by her letter that I immediately sat down and wrote her a two page letter back (yes, in my own very fine print which would have been several pages for anyone else) telling her that I'm ok with being friends with her. As with all my friends even though life may get rough and we loose contact for a while I'll always be there and be willing to try to pick up the pieces. There are very few people in my life that I actually have to or want to cut out completely. This is normally for reasons of personal health.
~I changed the password to my other account that everyone was supposed to be able to use. It seems that of all the people that had the email sent to them or I told them about the account, only one has used it. One of my people suggested something to me when I brought this to their attention. Not everyone has the urge to use blogs or journals to keep in contact. Some people are better with snail mail, emails or phone calls I shouldnt be judgemental about this. Well, yeah this makes sense. But if you can't call me, email is going to be all but impossible to keep up with everyone, why not just use a central place? This way I can tell everyone whats going on at the same time. Then I can email those who I need to email on the side and everyone is happy.
~Suppose that a big part of what is bothering me is what I have been reading and viewing lately. I'm so wrapped up in whats going on and getting my job done that I've not been able to decompress. Kinda like firefighters, when you deal with high stress situations all the time it gets to you. The more graphic the situation the more of an impact it has on your health. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm more than capable of handling my job by any means. I'm excitied to get overseas and do it. Some of the aspects just astound me. It's amazing how easily people can decide to take another persons life just because they are of a different ideology.
~Kinda calming down. The night is begining to wind down. Not as many people running through, the weather is getting cooler and I'm here listening to some Live. Stewie just emailed me and he gets the prize. He is the first perosn to bring to my attention that the Journal password is no longer the same. I should have thought more about who would be the first to react. Not at all suprised that of everyone who has the ability to get in there he is the first to notice. Think it's awsome. ( =