FFVIII: Missed (Ellone/Squall, PG-13)
Missed
Fandom: FFVIII
Characters/Pairings: Squall/Ellone
Rating: PG-13
For: katmillia, Meme of Fives
Prompt: Five times Ellone tried to kiss Squall and the one time she actually did. :D :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATY.
Summary: Ellone and Squall meet again.
- - -
The first time she sees him after all these years, he’s in the Infirmary, and he’s unconscious.
Ellone presses her fingers up against the glass, her eyes locked on his face. She’s sure it’s him, just as she’s sure the other boy she just saw was Seifer. Someone as keen with the past as she is can’t help but be sure of these things. She’d know anyone she ever met. They resonate.
“Squall,” she whispers.
To her surprise, Squall moves in response. She presses her other hand against the window.
Squall groans; he’s in pain. She ducks away as she sees the doctor approach: Balamb Garden is her safehouse for now, but the fewer people who see her, the better. She can hear the conversation a bit through the glass, muffled words reaching her ears.
The doctor’s shoes are heavy on the floor. Ellone risks another glance. Squall’s alone; he turns his head towards the movement as she gives him a little wave.
“So, Squall,” she whispers, “we meet again.”
He looks away, his face dulled with pain and the effort to not acknowledge the pain. Ellone is filled with the sympathetic instinct to rush in there, put her arms around him like she did when they were young, and kiss his brow until the pain-lines fade.
Before she gets up the nerve to go in, she hears footsteps coming her way; the panic, at this point, is instinctual for her. She presses her lips to the window, once, realizing that it’s silly and gross and not caring, either.
“I missed you,” she says into the glass, and then leaves.
When she comes back to the Infirmary, the bed is empty.
The next day the White SeeD ship comes to get her. She vaguely regrets.
- - -
She’s never seen Squall look like this, not ever.
“God!” he cries, and his eyes are so full of rage she thinks she spots tears. “Rinoa is gonna die… I can’t take it. Ellone, please.” He turns that gaze on her and she’s rooted to the spot, heart broken and raging for him all at once.
“Take me to Rinoa,” he urges. “To her past.”
She doesn’t understand any of this - she can’t, she knows it, she can’t go back into anyone she hasn’t met before; it’s why she remembers people so well, because she may need them. Is this really Squall?
She wants to take him close and kiss it all away. As soon as the thought appears she buries it with something like guilt sinking in her stomach. Behind Squall, Quistis is watching him, wide-eyed in realization.
“OK,” she says finally. Squall stops pacing and looks at her. “It may not work, but we’ll try, okay?”
She can’t hold him any more; she’s missed her chance. All she can do is use her power and hope that it’s enough.
- - -
Time Compression.
What could have been.
The path before Ellone is pale and bright, lit with something like moonlight: silvery-white light, glancing off of the faces of Squall and Rinoa, and Laguna, and Quistis and Seifer and the others. They’re waiting for her, at the end of the path. They’ve destroyed Ultimecia.
All she has to do is close Time Compression, and they’ve won - they’re okay. It’s harder to do than she’d thought, though: she feels muddled, moving slowly, as if she’s been tied up. It’s as if there are loops of ribbons binding her body - and her thoughts.
Ellone can hear the witch somewhere behind her. She cannot tell if Ultimecia is laughing or screaming.
She looks at the moon-lit path before her, knowing that it’s the right one: her friends are waiting for her there. But something to her left catches her eye -
- Raine, standing on tiptoe to give Laguna a kiss, while Ellone and Squall play hopscotch in Winhill -
What might have been.
There is a path leading that way, but it is dark. Ellone shakes her head and resolutely puts one foot before the other, making her murky way towards where Squall is waiting for her, with Rinoa. Where Laguna is.
She takes one step, and the scenery changes, morphing around her like underwater lights. The path before her stays gently moon-bright, but to her right now -
- Squall takes her hand, bending close to lay a slow kiss on her lips before wrapping his arms around her, and she cranes her neck up, reaching for his lips again -
Ellone gasps, and the scene vanishes.
What might have been. Is this - ?
Before her, Squall is clasping Rinoa’s hand, and for a moment Ellone’s step falters.
She closes her eyes to focus and concentrates on Uncle Laguna, whose strength and love is like a beacon in the Compression, leading her home. She needs to end this.
It isn’t until later that she realizes.
- - -
Squall sits across from her, head in his hands as she slowly draws him out of the past.
“You’re not my sister,” he says.
Her vision from Time Compression - that alternate reality, his lips on hers - flashes once across her mind.
“No,” she says softly, hiding her shame, wishing so badly that Squall was only a brother to her - “no, I’m not. Not really.”
“Laguna and Raine -”
“Your parents,” Ellone says. “Not mine.”
“Not mine, either,” Squall says, his voice roughly edged. “Not really.”
“Oh, Squall.” She can’t help it; she stands up, wraps her arms around him. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry,” he says into her sleeve. “Thank you.” He pauses. “Although it doesn’t make it much easier.”
She ignores that comment, planting a kiss into his hair instead and wishing away the tugging on her heart.
“I missed you,” Squall says.
- - -
“It wasn’t going to work,” Squall says softly.
Ellone says nothing. He’s on his fourth shot of whiskey; she’s still sipping the pink monstrosity in front of her, something the menu called the Laguna Special - she couldn’t pass it up.
“I knew she would leave,” he says, signaling the bartender for another shot. Ellone can already see that she’ll be driving the van back to Balamb Garden. “Love of my life, and she leaves me. I - why does everyone leave?”
“Squall, not everyone will leave,” Ellone replies, stirring the slushy drink with the neon green straw. “Some of them will come back to you - like Laguna. And I’m sure Rinoa still cares about you very much.”
“Just not that way.” Squall sighs and downs his shot.
“Don’t think of it like that!” Ellone turns on him. “It makes me sad. Don’t throw it away like that, Squall.”
“What should I think, then?” He taps the glass on the bar idly. “She left. The story’s over.” The bartender thinks he’s signaling for another; Squall doesn’t stop him. “I knew it was a mistake. Never should’ve fallen in love anyway.”
Ellone pokes his arm. “Rinoa may not have been your true love, maybe, but she was your first love. Everybody learns something from their first love, whether they like it or not.”
She realizes what she’s saying and blushes as pink as her beverage.
“So it’s just a lesson now?” Squall winces. “I just write it off like a lesson learned in - in Instructor Trepe’s class?” He’s kind of slurring his words now, and Elle has to smile at her drunken brother. Even drunk, he’s still grumpy.
“No - look at Laguna,” she says, laughing. “He loved Julia so much, but it didn’t work out. But he learned from it. And in the end, when he found Raine, he knew what to do. How to love her.”
There’s a pause, and she worries that she’s just ruined everything - mentioning Raine and Laguna in Squall’s hearing can be a mistake.
“What about you?” Squall asks, and her heart skips a beat. “What’d you learn from your first love?” The words are definitely slurred now.
Ellone looks over at him, knowing that she’s the one person on the planet that Squall will open up to and wishing she could open up to him. She almost leans in - almost kisses him. But she doesn’t.
“I’m still learning,” she says honestly.
- - -
The car’s waiting outside to take Squall to the train station; she can see it from the front steps of Laguna’s house.
“Thanks for coming.” She’s standing a step above him, so they’re almost the same height.
Squall chuckles. “You weren’t going to let me get out of it, were you?”
Ellone shakes her head, smiling. “It makes me to happy to see the two of you together.”
“I hate to admit it,” Squall says, “but I actually like being here.”
“Don’t be gone long, then,” she says, jokingly. “I’ll miss you.”
He reaches to hug her; but she’s still talking as he does it and suddenly he’s too close his face is against hers and he’s warm and before she can even think about it she’s turned her head and kissed him. It’s almost too brief.
His eyes widen, and she backs away, her face flaming red. Maybe she can Compress time again and just erase that moment from existence - oh, god, she’s embarrassed and he’s -
- he’s leaning in to press his lips against hers again, lightly.
“I’ll miss you too,” he says, and turns to head down the stairs.
Ellone touches her lips lightly, and is not at all surprised to find that she’s smiling.
Notes:
(1) Please forgive the quotes from the script in #2; I had to be accurate. Stupid cheesy dialogue!
(2) Totally, uh, lax interpretation of the prompt! I totally couldn’t write this and ignore TIME COMPRESSION so I totally cheated. HA, HA.
(3) Wow, this one ended up being really long.
Fandom: FFVIII
Characters/Pairings: Squall/Ellone
Rating: PG-13
For: katmillia, Meme of Fives
Prompt: Five times Ellone tried to kiss Squall and the one time she actually did. :D :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KATY.
Summary: Ellone and Squall meet again.
- - -
The first time she sees him after all these years, he’s in the Infirmary, and he’s unconscious.
Ellone presses her fingers up against the glass, her eyes locked on his face. She’s sure it’s him, just as she’s sure the other boy she just saw was Seifer. Someone as keen with the past as she is can’t help but be sure of these things. She’d know anyone she ever met. They resonate.
“Squall,” she whispers.
To her surprise, Squall moves in response. She presses her other hand against the window.
Squall groans; he’s in pain. She ducks away as she sees the doctor approach: Balamb Garden is her safehouse for now, but the fewer people who see her, the better. She can hear the conversation a bit through the glass, muffled words reaching her ears.
The doctor’s shoes are heavy on the floor. Ellone risks another glance. Squall’s alone; he turns his head towards the movement as she gives him a little wave.
“So, Squall,” she whispers, “we meet again.”
He looks away, his face dulled with pain and the effort to not acknowledge the pain. Ellone is filled with the sympathetic instinct to rush in there, put her arms around him like she did when they were young, and kiss his brow until the pain-lines fade.
Before she gets up the nerve to go in, she hears footsteps coming her way; the panic, at this point, is instinctual for her. She presses her lips to the window, once, realizing that it’s silly and gross and not caring, either.
“I missed you,” she says into the glass, and then leaves.
When she comes back to the Infirmary, the bed is empty.
The next day the White SeeD ship comes to get her. She vaguely regrets.
- - -
She’s never seen Squall look like this, not ever.
“God!” he cries, and his eyes are so full of rage she thinks she spots tears. “Rinoa is gonna die… I can’t take it. Ellone, please.” He turns that gaze on her and she’s rooted to the spot, heart broken and raging for him all at once.
“Take me to Rinoa,” he urges. “To her past.”
She doesn’t understand any of this - she can’t, she knows it, she can’t go back into anyone she hasn’t met before; it’s why she remembers people so well, because she may need them. Is this really Squall?
She wants to take him close and kiss it all away. As soon as the thought appears she buries it with something like guilt sinking in her stomach. Behind Squall, Quistis is watching him, wide-eyed in realization.
“OK,” she says finally. Squall stops pacing and looks at her. “It may not work, but we’ll try, okay?”
She can’t hold him any more; she’s missed her chance. All she can do is use her power and hope that it’s enough.
- - -
Time Compression.
What could have been.
The path before Ellone is pale and bright, lit with something like moonlight: silvery-white light, glancing off of the faces of Squall and Rinoa, and Laguna, and Quistis and Seifer and the others. They’re waiting for her, at the end of the path. They’ve destroyed Ultimecia.
All she has to do is close Time Compression, and they’ve won - they’re okay. It’s harder to do than she’d thought, though: she feels muddled, moving slowly, as if she’s been tied up. It’s as if there are loops of ribbons binding her body - and her thoughts.
Ellone can hear the witch somewhere behind her. She cannot tell if Ultimecia is laughing or screaming.
She looks at the moon-lit path before her, knowing that it’s the right one: her friends are waiting for her there. But something to her left catches her eye -
- Raine, standing on tiptoe to give Laguna a kiss, while Ellone and Squall play hopscotch in Winhill -
What might have been.
There is a path leading that way, but it is dark. Ellone shakes her head and resolutely puts one foot before the other, making her murky way towards where Squall is waiting for her, with Rinoa. Where Laguna is.
She takes one step, and the scenery changes, morphing around her like underwater lights. The path before her stays gently moon-bright, but to her right now -
- Squall takes her hand, bending close to lay a slow kiss on her lips before wrapping his arms around her, and she cranes her neck up, reaching for his lips again -
Ellone gasps, and the scene vanishes.
What might have been. Is this - ?
Before her, Squall is clasping Rinoa’s hand, and for a moment Ellone’s step falters.
She closes her eyes to focus and concentrates on Uncle Laguna, whose strength and love is like a beacon in the Compression, leading her home. She needs to end this.
It isn’t until later that she realizes.
- - -
Squall sits across from her, head in his hands as she slowly draws him out of the past.
“You’re not my sister,” he says.
Her vision from Time Compression - that alternate reality, his lips on hers - flashes once across her mind.
“No,” she says softly, hiding her shame, wishing so badly that Squall was only a brother to her - “no, I’m not. Not really.”
“Laguna and Raine -”
“Your parents,” Ellone says. “Not mine.”
“Not mine, either,” Squall says, his voice roughly edged. “Not really.”
“Oh, Squall.” She can’t help it; she stands up, wraps her arms around him. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry,” he says into her sleeve. “Thank you.” He pauses. “Although it doesn’t make it much easier.”
She ignores that comment, planting a kiss into his hair instead and wishing away the tugging on her heart.
“I missed you,” Squall says.
- - -
“It wasn’t going to work,” Squall says softly.
Ellone says nothing. He’s on his fourth shot of whiskey; she’s still sipping the pink monstrosity in front of her, something the menu called the Laguna Special - she couldn’t pass it up.
“I knew she would leave,” he says, signaling the bartender for another shot. Ellone can already see that she’ll be driving the van back to Balamb Garden. “Love of my life, and she leaves me. I - why does everyone leave?”
“Squall, not everyone will leave,” Ellone replies, stirring the slushy drink with the neon green straw. “Some of them will come back to you - like Laguna. And I’m sure Rinoa still cares about you very much.”
“Just not that way.” Squall sighs and downs his shot.
“Don’t think of it like that!” Ellone turns on him. “It makes me sad. Don’t throw it away like that, Squall.”
“What should I think, then?” He taps the glass on the bar idly. “She left. The story’s over.” The bartender thinks he’s signaling for another; Squall doesn’t stop him. “I knew it was a mistake. Never should’ve fallen in love anyway.”
Ellone pokes his arm. “Rinoa may not have been your true love, maybe, but she was your first love. Everybody learns something from their first love, whether they like it or not.”
She realizes what she’s saying and blushes as pink as her beverage.
“So it’s just a lesson now?” Squall winces. “I just write it off like a lesson learned in - in Instructor Trepe’s class?” He’s kind of slurring his words now, and Elle has to smile at her drunken brother. Even drunk, he’s still grumpy.
“No - look at Laguna,” she says, laughing. “He loved Julia so much, but it didn’t work out. But he learned from it. And in the end, when he found Raine, he knew what to do. How to love her.”
There’s a pause, and she worries that she’s just ruined everything - mentioning Raine and Laguna in Squall’s hearing can be a mistake.
“What about you?” Squall asks, and her heart skips a beat. “What’d you learn from your first love?” The words are definitely slurred now.
Ellone looks over at him, knowing that she’s the one person on the planet that Squall will open up to and wishing she could open up to him. She almost leans in - almost kisses him. But she doesn’t.
“I’m still learning,” she says honestly.
- - -
The car’s waiting outside to take Squall to the train station; she can see it from the front steps of Laguna’s house.
“Thanks for coming.” She’s standing a step above him, so they’re almost the same height.
Squall chuckles. “You weren’t going to let me get out of it, were you?”
Ellone shakes her head, smiling. “It makes me to happy to see the two of you together.”
“I hate to admit it,” Squall says, “but I actually like being here.”
“Don’t be gone long, then,” she says, jokingly. “I’ll miss you.”
He reaches to hug her; but she’s still talking as he does it and suddenly he’s too close his face is against hers and he’s warm and before she can even think about it she’s turned her head and kissed him. It’s almost too brief.
His eyes widen, and she backs away, her face flaming red. Maybe she can Compress time again and just erase that moment from existence - oh, god, she’s embarrassed and he’s -
- he’s leaning in to press his lips against hers again, lightly.
“I’ll miss you too,” he says, and turns to head down the stairs.
Ellone touches her lips lightly, and is not at all surprised to find that she’s smiling.
Notes:
(1) Please forgive the quotes from the script in #2; I had to be accurate. Stupid cheesy dialogue!
(2) Totally, uh, lax interpretation of the prompt! I totally couldn’t write this and ignore TIME COMPRESSION so I totally cheated. HA, HA.
(3) Wow, this one ended up being really long.