FFVIII || How Not to Date Blondes: Chapter Five
Title: How Not To Date Blondes
Chapter Five: In Which Many Schemes Are Hatched
Authors: first_seventhe and rosencrantz
Fandom: FFVIII
Characters/Pairings included: Quistis, Zell, Seifer, Cast (eventual Quistis/Zell)
Rating: M / R (Profanity, eventual mature situations)
Summary: Quistis is looking for another promotion. Zell is looking for some action with that cute library girl. And Seifer? He’s just looking for trouble.
Read it at fanfiction.net here.
Chapter 5: In Which Many Schemes Are Hatched
When the alarm rang, Zell didn't even have to reach for a projectile missile to shut it off. He practically flew out of his bed, filled with more than enough eager energy to burn and then some. While that wasn't a particularly odd state of affairs for Zell, it was unusual that it struck him before he even finished his morning warm-up. He rushed through his sit-ups without missing a beat; when he started on the push-ups, he was feeling so good he decided to do his sets with one arm instead of two. And for the entire time, only one theme occupied his thoughts:
I'm gonna be a teacher. I got what it takes. Even Quistis thinks so.
He smiled proudly to himself yet again as he tossed on some clothes; just a quick stop by the Training Center to finish up his morning routine, and then he'd grab some breakfast at the Cafeteria before he made his way up to the Headmaster's Office to hit up Xu for the appropriate paperwork. And if she gave him that funny look again, this time he was gonna look her right back in the eye. After all, Quistis said he could do it, and Quistis was never wrong.
Well, actually, she was wrong a lot of the time, but only about Seifer, and he sure as hell wasn't Seifer. The smile faltered and dropped from Zell's face: Seifer, who was still at large somewhere in Balamb, probably laughing at them both. Unconsciously Zell punched his fist into his palm; maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to stop in on Squall while he was upstairs and see if he couldn't get him to change his mind about that suspension. Of course it was more likely that Ifrit would start dating Shiva before Squall assigned them another mission in Balamb, but Zell was in an optimistic mood.
After all, if he had what it took to teach, anything was possible, right? A quick glance back at the clock revealed that it was earlier than he had guessed; pulling on his gloves, Zell let an enthusiastic smile stretch across his face. Today was going to be a good day. He finally knew what he wanted to do at Garden, Quistis was going to help him win over the girl of his dreams, and for once he was up early enough to actually have his own bagel with strawberry cream cheese instead of watching other people eat them.
All was right in Zell Dincht's world this morning. Today was going to be awesome, he thought happily as he swung the door of his room open and stepped outside. Today was going to be perfect. Nothing could possibly go wrong -
- except for that bucket of pungent motor oil that he suddenly found himself doused in.
"The HELL?" Zell roared, tripping and falling to the floor as he scrubbed wildly at his face to clear the gunk away from his eyes. He pushed the limp flop of his hair away from his forehead and looked up -
The chocobo feathers that followed really shouldn't have surprised him as much as they did at that point. Coughing and spitting, he let out a healthy string of expletives as soon as his mouth was free of the downy yellow feathers that were now plastered all over his body. Screw Quistis' date advice: this was definitely a cuss-worthy situation.
"What the fuck?" Zell yelled, finally making it to his feet and spinning around, trying to wave off some of the feathers. The frantic motion only made them adhere even more firmly to the oil, and after flailing around the corridor uselessly for a few more minutes Zell finally gave up. He stood, panting, and focused on his surroundings.
It was early enough so that the halls were blessedly empty; that was probably for the best, considering that Zell was currently bearing an uncanny resemblance to the Balamb Little League's Chubby Chocobo mascot. Still, that meant there was no sign of the culprits; they must have rigged the little stunt sometime last night after he was asleep.
"Shit," Zell groaned, slapping his forehead and then wincing as he pulled away a wad of feathers when he removed his palm. "How the hell am I supposed to find who did this -" He stopped short as he turned around saw the message scrawled across his door. The writing was oddly neat, for graffiti; whoever wrote it would definitely have gotten marks for perfect penmanship if graffiti could be graded. Zell scowled at the offending letters; someone would be getting marks all right if he found out who had set him up. Shaking away the anger, he tilted his head and read the message.
"A Chicken Wuss Should Dress Like It!"
Seifer?! For a moment Zell was so furious he could only see white. Underneath that, in much smaller, angrier letters was another message; he blinked and felt his anger subside as he read the rest of the warning.
"Stay away from Instructor Trepe!"
Not Seifer then. The former delinquent was a lot of things, but respectful of Quistis' title as a teacher was definitely not one of them. No, Zell realized as he stared at his door. This was the handiwork of something infinitely worse than Seifer and his Posse. He had somehow drawn the attention and ire of the Trepies. Zell shuddered; they were worse than pit bulls. Once they sunk their teeth in, they never let go until someone died. He didn't know how Quistis managed to put up with them on a daily basis.
Zell ground his teeth together and picked up a handful of feathers, using them to messily smear away the chalked-in message with a growl. Only nerds like the Trepies would be worried enough about following Garden regulations to use board chalk instead of paint when making graffiti. He briefly considered telling Quistis about the attack, but quickly discarded the idea. She had enough trouble dealing with them as it was; if they wanted a personal war with Zell Dincht, then that's what they were going to get.
As he got to work cleaning up the mess (and himself), Zell thought viciously of the strawberry cream cheese he was missing out on. He had a pretty good idea who was behind the attack; he and Squinty had been exchanging glares for the past two days every time they crossed paths. Zell made a mental note to drop into Garden's custodial office - he'd need the carpet in front of his door steamed. Again. Granted, the first time had been an accident involving ice cream soup and had been entirely his fault. This time he'd have to bribe that custodian to get her up here again - and that was all Squinty's fault.
Well, that short-sighted bastard was going to get the surprise of his boring little life if he thought Zell was going to roll over and leave Quistis alone just because of a little tar and feathering. Pit bulls were still dogs, and as Ma Dincht would despairingly admit, Zell's pets never did manage to live long when under his care.
.x.x.x.
By the time Quistis finally rolled out of bed, it was well past sunrise, meaning unusually tardy by her personal standards. Only the incessant need for caffeine had finally spurred her into motion. Rising so late was unusual, and a definite break from her normal routine.
Quistis suppressed a tiny, disconsolate sigh at the thought. She was only 19 years old and she already had a routine. She had purposefully ignored her superfluous alarm that morning; it was unnecessary as she had long since trained her body to rise with the crack of dawn, and no amount of determination to relax could erase her self-imposed programming. It didn't mean she couldn't shut the alarm off and plop back defiantly into her pillows in order to stare at the ceiling and try to will herself back to sleep.
By the time she had started to find not only rough shapes, but fully detailed landscapes and portraiture in the stains above her bed, Quistis had enough of "relaxing" and forced herself to get up. She would never have admitted it aloud, but she was almost grateful that Zell had approached her for these "lessons" - at least this way she'd have something to do. Up until this suspension, Quistis had never realized just how much of her life revolved around her Instructorship.
She'd managed to crawl out of bed and into the bathroom when she heard a knock at her dormitory door. "Coming!" she yelled, hastily piling her hair on top of her head. Quistis didn't really care if any of her friends saw her in her pajama bottoms; if it was a Trepie, she'd blast the damn fool to Hyne and back. And if it was Squall - well, all things considered, she probably would do the exact same thing. It was all Squall's fault that she had nothing to do in the first place!
The thought of being able to relieve some of her pent-up anger made her eyes sparkle with anticipation and she flung the door open hopefully, more than ready to lay waste to whomever was standing behind it.
Instead, all she saw was an inquisitive-looking Selphie and Rinoa on the other side. Quistis let out a tiny sigh of disappointment and backed away to let them inside. Selphie was carrying a very large cup of coffee, and Rinoa held a tray on which Quistis could see enough food for a small army of SeeDs.
"G'morning!" Selphie chirped, elbowing her way past Quistis and into the room.
"We didn't see you at breakfast, and we got worried," Rinoa explained as the door closed behind her. She set the tray down on Quistis' coffee table. "So we thought we'd come check on you and bring you a snack."
"That's... nice of you." Quistis was a little perturbed, but the coffee smelled delicious. Selphie, noticing the brief look of longing on Quistis' face, quickly passed the mug over: Quistis breathed deeply, and the lines on her face faded away.
"Lookit you," Selphie said, grinning. "Sleeping in. What's the occasion?"
All of Quistis' gossip alarms went off simultaneously. They probably knew her Instructorship had been suspended, but she didn't really want to discuss the details of it with them. Idly she toyed with the idea of telling them about her fake date with Zell just to get them off her back, but the repercussions would be horrible. She might actually be expected to date Zell after that.
"I was... up late," she explained lamely.
"Ah." Rinoa and Selphie exchanged knowing glances. Quistis' mental alarms sounded even louder, slowly bringing back the headache that the coffee had only just managed to soothe away.
"So - why the breakfast?" Quistis asked, turning the tables back on them. Selphie and Rinoa were good people at heart, but lately they'd been so obsessed with her marital status that Quistis was afraid to take anything at face value.
Selphie huffed in mock annoyance. "Aren't we allowed to do something nice for our bestest friend?"
"Actually," Rinoa reminded her, "we wanted to do something extra nice for you to - to apologize."
Quistis' eyes narrowed. "Apologize?"
Selphie dramatically threw herself down on the couch next to Quistis, her eyes wide and pleading. "We finally realized just how annoyed you were with us for the whole set-up thing," she said plaintively, "and we wanted to tell you that -" she looked at Rinoa, who nodded in encouragement. "We're sorry," Selphie continued, "and we're going to lay off for a little while. You know, so you can relax."
Quistis said nothing for a moment, sipping her coffee with a warm feeling of satisfaction. So Zell had managed to get them to back off after all. That was nice. Maybe if she laid down the truth now, let them know just how angry she was about it, they'd get the idea for good and -
She looked up from her coffee just in time to catch the two girls exchanging a furtive grin. Oh, Quistis thought. So there was something behind this after all. The alarms in her head started jangling unpleasantly again.
Rinoa smiled at her, coming to sit down on her other side. Classic Pincer Maneuver, Quistis noted sourly. Rinoa had been studying up on her battle tactics classes after all. "We realized you have to be pretty upset over something to have taken a week off of teaching," she said, her voice prompting. "So, y'know..."
"If there's anything you want to tell us, Quisty..." Selphie added, with an eager light in her eyes Quistis definitely didn't like.
"... we'll always be right here, and willing to listen," Rinoa finished proudly.
"And we're not going anywhere," Selphie added as an afterthought. Quistis supposed it was supposed to sound reassuring, but coming from her over-eager friend, it tasted distinctly more like a threat.
She sipped her coffee and remained silent.
"Aw, c'mon, Quisty," Selphie wheedled impatiently, "what's going on? You can trust us."
No, I can't, Quistis wanted to point out, but she wisely remained quiet, this time reaching for a muffin.
"Quistis?" Rinoa's voice this time was hesitant. "Are you... actually that mad?"
Quistis calmly took another sip of coffee. "No," she said, finally. "I'm pleased that the two of you have come to this conclusion. I'm certainly not looking for anyone to date right now, and it will make it much easier on me to not have to turn you two away. I hope you've learned something from this."
The mood in the room very obviously sagged; Selphie's shoulders slumped, and Rinoa's face fell into a frown. A strange feeling of guilt settled itself into Quistis' stomach, much like it had when she'd inadvertently insulted Zell the night before. Was she really this cruel to her friends - and she'd just never noticed before?
"I don't like fighting with you two," Quistis admitted stiffly, hiding her discomfort with another eager gulp of liquid caffeine. Selphie turned to her, surprised; a slow smile spread itself over Rinoa's face. Quistis felt herself blushing and buried her nose in the mug.
Selphie and Rinoa exchanged another subtle glance over Quistis' lap. "So, Quisty," Rinoa began, "What're you doing later tonight?"
"I'm..." Quistis paused. 'Going to dinner with Zell' obviously wasn't an acceptable answer. "I'm... busy."
"Are you, now?" Selphie leaned in, conspiratorially. "I thought you weren't looking to date anyone?"
Quistis shook her head violently. "I'm not!" she insisted, spinning wheels in her brain. "I've got... remedial lessons!" Well, it wasn't a total lie. They were lessons, of a sort; and if the study date last night was any example, Zell needed all the remedial help he could get.
"Remedial lessons?" Rinoa looked puzzled. "But you're not Instructing this week."
"Well," Quistis said with a nervous cough, "I can't abandon my slower students entirely, can I?" Mentally she apologized to Zell - but then hastily took it back. When it came to dating, Zell 'I call her Piggy' Dincht was certainly one of the slower students out there.
"I was hoping we could have a girls' night," Selphie said, pouting. "Are you sure you can't reschedule?"
Quistis thought for a moment. She really did owe Zell for getting the two girls off her back. "No, I can't," she said finally, shaking her head. "I'm sorry."
Selphie glanced at Rinoa, winking quickly before turning back to Quistis. "Alright, then," she said, jumping up. "We'll leave you alone to enjoy your week of vacation!"
"Remember," Rinoa urged, "if you need to talk, we're always here."
Quistis nodded, breaking off a piece of her muffin and toying with it. "Thanks," she murmured half-heartedly as they left.
As soon as the door closed, she took one last long swig of coffee and headed to her bedroom to throw some clothes on. The two girls had left her room much too easily. It sounded to her experienced ear like Selphie and Rinoa were up to something - and she didn't like the thought of that one bit.
.x.x.x.
"Alright," Rinoa said, leaning across the table, "so now what?"
Selphie was still fuming. She had managed to keep her cheerful smile on as they had exited Quistis' dorm; it had grown noticeably wider during their journey down the hall. By the time they were in Commons, her smile was so bright that it was nearly radioactive and just as inherently deadly. Other students were beginning to notice their progress and warily avoid them; everyone knew all too well that Selphie's apocalyptic version of The End involved bright smiles and cheerful fields of flowers. When they finally settled on a small table in the Cafeteria, the surrounding area had cleared almost as quickly as Selphie's grotesque parody of a grin.
"She didn't cancel it!" Her small fist hit the table, making the silverware jump. "She's still trying to prove her point, and she's going to ruin Zell's relationship to do it!"
Rinoa hushed her. "All we can do is break up that date," she hissed. "It'll be harder this time. We absolutely can't let her know it was us, but it's for the best!"
"What's for the best?" Irvine came out of nowhere, collapsing into a nearby chair casually and tipping his hat. "How are my two loveliest ladies doin' this mornin'? And what's for the best?"
Rinoa opened her mouth to make up some lie, but Selphie spilled it first. "Quistis won't cancel her date with Zell!" she said, pouting. "We even offered to call off all the blind dates with the Trepies, and she's still going."
"Woah, sweetie," Irvine said, an eyebrow lifting. "Have you ever considered," he offered, "that maybe Quistis and Zell really just like each other?"
Silence covered the table. Irvine glanced up. Both Selphie and Rinoa were staring at him, mouths agape, eyes slightly glazed.
"Okay, so no," Irvine continued smoothly. "But really, gals. Maybe they do. They're suited for each other, don't ya think?" More silence met this statement. Irvine barreled on. "They seem to be happy at least, right? And that's all you wanted - for Quistis to find somebody to care about, somebody to spend time with." They were still staring, so Irvine finally waved his arms in frustration. "Right?"
"You've got to be kidding, Irvy," Selphie said finally. "Quistis and Zell are SO not compatible."
Rinoa shook her head. "They'd never last," she offered. "Besides, isn't Zell dating that girl in the library?"
"The one with the pigtail?" Irvine frowned in thought. "Y'know, I dunno."
"Hmph," Selphie added, expressing her views on simultaneously dating two girls at once and hoping Irvine Kinneas got the point.
Irvine shook his head at them both. "Look you two, you've got to stop this meddlin' with Quisty's life." He tapped the table in front of them. "Out of all of us, Quistis is the most sure of what she wants, 'kay? An' if she's happy, you ain't got no right to step in there otherwise."
He turned to Selphie, pointing gently at her. "Promise me that you won't follow her on this date and try to wreck it, babe. Promise."
Selphie sulked, her bottom lip coming out in a fairly endearing way, but in the end Irvine's disapproving frown was too much. "I promise," she whispered.
"You too," he said, turning to Rinoa with the chastising finger. "Promise me. Quisty don't deserve this from you two."
Rinoa sighed reluctantly. "I promise, Irvine."
He gave them both an appraising look, before finally nodding in acceptance. "Good. Let those two have their fun." A thoughtful look flitted across Irvine's expression and he rubbed his chin. "Speakin' of which, I still need to visit the supply room if I want to get all this down..."
"Get all what down?" Selphie asked suspiciously.
Irvine blanched and quickly covered with a lazy grin. "Oh, nothin', Sefie darlin', nothin' at all." He stood up and beat a hasty retreat from the table, Selphie following his progress with narrowed eyes. When he was gone, she turned to Rinoa with a frown.
"I'm going to have to hack his email account again," she concluded. "I know he's up to something, I can just smell it!"
"Selphie," Rinoa began, shaking her head. "If Irvine's already upset about us meddling with Quistis' life, he's going to be furious when you start snooping in his own."
"Irvy loves me," Selphie said easily, pulling Rinoa to her feet. "Besides, I have a feeling about this one. I bet it has to do with Quistis and Zell! If I can catch him in the act..."
"That's a big if," Rinoa said doubtfully. Then she finally realized the direction Selphie was pulling her in. "Why are we going to the Library? I thought we agreed not to set Quistis up this time."
Selphie blushed slightly but only tightened her grip around Rinoa's hand and pulled her faster down the hallway. "Technically speaking, we agreed that we wouldn't meddle in Quistis' business anymore. That doesn't mean other people can't, though."
The two girls burst into the Library, Selphie tugging a still-reluctant Rinoa through the doors. They were immediately hushed by the librarian behind the desk - a short, skinny boy with a fierce glare. The glare turned into a suspicious squint as he recognized them.
"You!" Selphie squeaked, and the boy hushed her again, glancing around at the working students.
"Study room," he whispered loudly at them, gesturing to one of the small enclosures that lined one wall of the library. Selphie nodded eagerly and pulled Rinoa into the nearest empty one; the boy threw a furtive glance over his shoulder and followed, pulling the door closed behind them.
"So," the boy said, his eyes narrowing into squints again, "it's my turn, is it?"
Selphie looked startled. "Huh?"
"Oh," Rinoa said in realization. "No, this isn't about that date."
"Oh?" The boy echoed her, his tone almost threatening. "And why not? I'm next, aren't I?"
"Oh!" Selphie chirped. "That! No, we threw out the list. No more dating for now!"
The squinty-eyed boy's face fell, and he mumbled a much less enthused "Oh."
"But we do have an eensy-teensy favor to ask you," Selphie said, leaning in on the table with a conspiratorial wink, which the boy didn't return.
Personally, Squinty (as Rinoa was beginning to think of him) looked less than inclined to do them any favors after finding out about the dissolution of The List, but once again Selphie somehow managed to save the day with her impeccable logic.
"We need you to be Quistis' bodyguard!"
Both Rinoa and Squinty stared. It was a well-known fact that the Library Committee considered themselves to be the intellectuals of Balamb Garden, the underlying prerequisite to that being an almost total aversion to combat and physical exertion. Technically speaking, Rinoa would have made a better bodyguard than Squinty. Not so technically speaking, one of the christened SeeD trolls on Squall's desk would have made a better bodyguard, if just for the scare factor.
"No, really!" Selphie said with a pout. "Just think of it as the next step up from dating. We're entrusting you with Quistis' personal safety."
Squinty squared his shoulders, narrowing his eyes yet again. "What in the world are you talking about?"
Rinoa opened her mouth to say - what, she didn't know, but she felt the strange urge to insert some sense into the conversation. However, Selphie barreled on, caught up in her own enthusiasm.
"Look, Quistis is at a very difficult time in her life right now, and she's made a couple decisions that aren't... appropriate. So we need you to give her a... a helping hand, yeah, just a little bit of help to get her back on track!" She hopped from one foot to the other. "Look, uh..."
"Martin," the squinty-eyed boy interjected sourly.
"Martin!" Selphie squealed, as if it were the best name on the planet. Personally, Rinoa thought 'Squinty' was a better fit. "Look, Martin, we need your help to ruin this date, and -"
The change was profound. Squinty's entire body froze up, and he leaned forward, an angry look spreading across his face. "Date?" he hissed.
"Uh, yeah," Selphie replied, a little perturbed. "Quisty's going on a date with Zell Dincht tonight, and... well, it's in everybody's best interest if the date doesn't go well," she finished with a beaming smile.
"Consider it done," Squinty said immediately, with a glint in his eye that made Rinoa more than a little nervous.
As they left the study room, Rinoa spotted a girl behind the desk - shy, pretty face, with one long pigtail hanging down her back. She tugged Selphie around the nearest bookshelf. "Isn't that Zell's girlfriend?"
Selphie craned her neck around the shelf. "Yeah!" she exclaimed. "Should we go talk to her?"
"No," Rinoa hissed, "we can't let her know that Zell is - that Quisty is - about the date!"
Selphie bit her lip, pensive. "You're right." She shook her head. "But it'll all be over tonight!"
As the two girls exited the library, Selphie leaned in and gave an exaggerated wink to the girl with the pigtail, repeating in a loud stage whisper, "It'll all be over tonight." They didn't notice the flush that spread across her face, or the utterly confused look she gave them as they left.
.x.x.x.
Quistis had tried everywhere - the dorms, the Cafeteria, the Training Center, even the Library - and the last place she would have expected to find Zell Dincht was in the custodial corridor.
She'd actually just been walking past the custodial desk on her way to the laundry - maybe he was in there - and she'd heard a familiar voice. "Zell?" she hissed.
The blond jumped into the air, startled, but managed to do an impressive turn and come down mostly facing the other way. "Quisty?" Zell said, his voice surprised and a little shaky. She noticed him glancing nervously up and down the corridor, as if searching for something. When he finally seemed satisfied that she was alone, he relaxed slightly. "What's up?"
"What are you doing down here?" Quistis asked pointedly.
"Oh. Heh..." Zell rubbed his tattoo nervously. "I, uh, I spilled somethin' on my carpet, an'... yeah, it smells real bad."
"Were you running with your ice cream again?" Quistis asked, arching an eyebrow.
"No!" Zell exclaimed, but then hastily gathered himself together. "I mean... uhh, yeah." Inwardly, he was gritting his teeth. At least last time he had the perfectly valid excuse of wiping out while trying to do that new move on his T-board. If he only could've gotten all that ice cream into his mouth while upside-down, he would have proved once and for all that 360-degree turns really could prevent brain-freeze. This time was different, though. Now he ran the danger of sounding like a klutz in front of Quistis. Oh, when he got his hands on him, Squinty was going to pay...
Quistis opened her mouth to make a comment, and then thought better of it, closing her lips tightly and shaking her head. "Zell, we need to talk."
"Hold on." Zell turned back to the custodial desk, signing a messy signature across the paperwork and giving the secretary a broad grin. "We okay then?" he asked her; she nodded, and Zell turned back to Quistis.
"So, what's up?"
She took off at a brisk pace down the hall, trying to find an area where there weren't many people. "Zell, we need to -" Abruptly she stopped, reminded of something.
"First," she said, swallowing and squaring her shoulders slightly, "I - I need to thank you. Selphie and Rinoa both said they were finished with the... blind dates." Her fingers clenched automatically in a way that made Zell flinch slightly.
"Eh," he said, shrugging, attempting to get her to relax, "it was nothin'. Just part of the deal."
Quistis snapped back into focus. "Yes, the deal," she repeated. "Zell, I have a bad idea about tonight. I think Selphie and Rinoa are... up to something."
"Up to somethin'?" Zell stretched lazily. "When are those two NOT up to somethin'?"
Quistis shook her head. "That's not what I mean. I believe the two of them are going to... interfere in our... lessons, if they can."
Zell blinked. "Whaddaya mean?"
"Oh, I don't know," Quistis said with a sigh, sitting down on a nearby bench. "They were in my room this morning, and they kept asking me about tonight. It was highly suspicious." She sighed again. "They can't leave well enough alone, Selphie and Rinoa. I believe... they think I've found someone to date myself, and for some reason they want to interfere."
Quistis sounded so depressed that Zell sat down on the bench next to her, grinning. "C'mon, cheer up, Quisty," he said, reaching out to poke her shoulder. "We can still go."
"With them following us?" Quistis shot back. "What if they assume I'm dating you?"
Zell shrugged, still grinning. "What if they can't follow us?"
Quistis paused, looking at him. "What on earth do you mean?"
"You've never snuck out of Garden, have you?" Zell snickered at the look of utter shock on Quistis' face. "C'mon, Quisty, it's really easy. There’s lots of ways to do it. There's a back door in the kitchen they use to load and unload the hot dogs - eh, I mean, the food for the Cafeteria."
Quistis was now looking at him with chagrin. "Zell, we absolutely cannot sneak out of Garden!"
"Gonna have to," Zell retorted. "Squall said we weren't allowed go near Balamb for a couple of days anyhow!"
There was a moment of silence while the two remembered the vicious tongue-lashing. "Alright," Quistis finally admitted. "You're right. We are going to have to sneak out."
Zell pumped a fist in the air. "You just leave it to me, Quisty!"
Quistis buried her face in the palm of her hand. She was breaking a perfect (well, near-perfect) record of Garden obedience to sneak out. For a date. With Zell Dincht. And because Seifer Almasy had ruined her Balamb privileges. It was all a little much for her dignity to take.
Zell, however, looked even more excited than before. "Alright. I gotta re-Junction - who has Diablos anyways? - and then we're golden, baby! E! N! C! None! And we're out that door!" It was almost a cheer, and Quistis hushed him instinctively, biting back a snarky comment relating to Zell's Junctioning priorities and why sneaking out rated higher on the list than an actual mission.
"Oh, and wear civvies," Zell added as an afterthought. "Nobody in Balamb'll recognize ya in civvies."
"It's a date, Zell," Quistis said. "People tend to dress up for occasions like that."
"Really?" Zell shook his head, distracted by his plotting. "Anyway - meet me in the Cafeteria around 1700 and we'll head out! I'll take care of everything else!"
Quistis sighed and stood to go. She had three hours to prepare herself until - quite possibly - all hell broke loose.
Browse all chapters: LJ Memories || LJ Chapter Summary || fanfiction.net ||
Notes: This is an LJ repost of a chapter that already exists on fanfiction.net. So don't be surprised if you've already read it! We just need to update the LJ version so that we have somewhere to post the PORN later.
Other notes: huge thanks to lassarina for all the beta readthrough-ing she has done.
Chapter Five: In Which Many Schemes Are Hatched
Authors: first_seventhe and rosencrantz
Fandom: FFVIII
Characters/Pairings included: Quistis, Zell, Seifer, Cast (eventual Quistis/Zell)
Rating: M / R (Profanity, eventual mature situations)
Summary: Quistis is looking for another promotion. Zell is looking for some action with that cute library girl. And Seifer? He’s just looking for trouble.
Read it at fanfiction.net here.
Chapter 5: In Which Many Schemes Are Hatched
When the alarm rang, Zell didn't even have to reach for a projectile missile to shut it off. He practically flew out of his bed, filled with more than enough eager energy to burn and then some. While that wasn't a particularly odd state of affairs for Zell, it was unusual that it struck him before he even finished his morning warm-up. He rushed through his sit-ups without missing a beat; when he started on the push-ups, he was feeling so good he decided to do his sets with one arm instead of two. And for the entire time, only one theme occupied his thoughts:
I'm gonna be a teacher. I got what it takes. Even Quistis thinks so.
He smiled proudly to himself yet again as he tossed on some clothes; just a quick stop by the Training Center to finish up his morning routine, and then he'd grab some breakfast at the Cafeteria before he made his way up to the Headmaster's Office to hit up Xu for the appropriate paperwork. And if she gave him that funny look again, this time he was gonna look her right back in the eye. After all, Quistis said he could do it, and Quistis was never wrong.
Well, actually, she was wrong a lot of the time, but only about Seifer, and he sure as hell wasn't Seifer. The smile faltered and dropped from Zell's face: Seifer, who was still at large somewhere in Balamb, probably laughing at them both. Unconsciously Zell punched his fist into his palm; maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to stop in on Squall while he was upstairs and see if he couldn't get him to change his mind about that suspension. Of course it was more likely that Ifrit would start dating Shiva before Squall assigned them another mission in Balamb, but Zell was in an optimistic mood.
After all, if he had what it took to teach, anything was possible, right? A quick glance back at the clock revealed that it was earlier than he had guessed; pulling on his gloves, Zell let an enthusiastic smile stretch across his face. Today was going to be a good day. He finally knew what he wanted to do at Garden, Quistis was going to help him win over the girl of his dreams, and for once he was up early enough to actually have his own bagel with strawberry cream cheese instead of watching other people eat them.
All was right in Zell Dincht's world this morning. Today was going to be awesome, he thought happily as he swung the door of his room open and stepped outside. Today was going to be perfect. Nothing could possibly go wrong -
- except for that bucket of pungent motor oil that he suddenly found himself doused in.
"The HELL?" Zell roared, tripping and falling to the floor as he scrubbed wildly at his face to clear the gunk away from his eyes. He pushed the limp flop of his hair away from his forehead and looked up -
The chocobo feathers that followed really shouldn't have surprised him as much as they did at that point. Coughing and spitting, he let out a healthy string of expletives as soon as his mouth was free of the downy yellow feathers that were now plastered all over his body. Screw Quistis' date advice: this was definitely a cuss-worthy situation.
"What the fuck?" Zell yelled, finally making it to his feet and spinning around, trying to wave off some of the feathers. The frantic motion only made them adhere even more firmly to the oil, and after flailing around the corridor uselessly for a few more minutes Zell finally gave up. He stood, panting, and focused on his surroundings.
It was early enough so that the halls were blessedly empty; that was probably for the best, considering that Zell was currently bearing an uncanny resemblance to the Balamb Little League's Chubby Chocobo mascot. Still, that meant there was no sign of the culprits; they must have rigged the little stunt sometime last night after he was asleep.
"Shit," Zell groaned, slapping his forehead and then wincing as he pulled away a wad of feathers when he removed his palm. "How the hell am I supposed to find who did this -" He stopped short as he turned around saw the message scrawled across his door. The writing was oddly neat, for graffiti; whoever wrote it would definitely have gotten marks for perfect penmanship if graffiti could be graded. Zell scowled at the offending letters; someone would be getting marks all right if he found out who had set him up. Shaking away the anger, he tilted his head and read the message.
"A Chicken Wuss Should Dress Like It!"
Seifer?! For a moment Zell was so furious he could only see white. Underneath that, in much smaller, angrier letters was another message; he blinked and felt his anger subside as he read the rest of the warning.
"Stay away from Instructor Trepe!"
Not Seifer then. The former delinquent was a lot of things, but respectful of Quistis' title as a teacher was definitely not one of them. No, Zell realized as he stared at his door. This was the handiwork of something infinitely worse than Seifer and his Posse. He had somehow drawn the attention and ire of the Trepies. Zell shuddered; they were worse than pit bulls. Once they sunk their teeth in, they never let go until someone died. He didn't know how Quistis managed to put up with them on a daily basis.
Zell ground his teeth together and picked up a handful of feathers, using them to messily smear away the chalked-in message with a growl. Only nerds like the Trepies would be worried enough about following Garden regulations to use board chalk instead of paint when making graffiti. He briefly considered telling Quistis about the attack, but quickly discarded the idea. She had enough trouble dealing with them as it was; if they wanted a personal war with Zell Dincht, then that's what they were going to get.
As he got to work cleaning up the mess (and himself), Zell thought viciously of the strawberry cream cheese he was missing out on. He had a pretty good idea who was behind the attack; he and Squinty had been exchanging glares for the past two days every time they crossed paths. Zell made a mental note to drop into Garden's custodial office - he'd need the carpet in front of his door steamed. Again. Granted, the first time had been an accident involving ice cream soup and had been entirely his fault. This time he'd have to bribe that custodian to get her up here again - and that was all Squinty's fault.
Well, that short-sighted bastard was going to get the surprise of his boring little life if he thought Zell was going to roll over and leave Quistis alone just because of a little tar and feathering. Pit bulls were still dogs, and as Ma Dincht would despairingly admit, Zell's pets never did manage to live long when under his care.
.x.x.x.
By the time Quistis finally rolled out of bed, it was well past sunrise, meaning unusually tardy by her personal standards. Only the incessant need for caffeine had finally spurred her into motion. Rising so late was unusual, and a definite break from her normal routine.
Quistis suppressed a tiny, disconsolate sigh at the thought. She was only 19 years old and she already had a routine. She had purposefully ignored her superfluous alarm that morning; it was unnecessary as she had long since trained her body to rise with the crack of dawn, and no amount of determination to relax could erase her self-imposed programming. It didn't mean she couldn't shut the alarm off and plop back defiantly into her pillows in order to stare at the ceiling and try to will herself back to sleep.
By the time she had started to find not only rough shapes, but fully detailed landscapes and portraiture in the stains above her bed, Quistis had enough of "relaxing" and forced herself to get up. She would never have admitted it aloud, but she was almost grateful that Zell had approached her for these "lessons" - at least this way she'd have something to do. Up until this suspension, Quistis had never realized just how much of her life revolved around her Instructorship.
She'd managed to crawl out of bed and into the bathroom when she heard a knock at her dormitory door. "Coming!" she yelled, hastily piling her hair on top of her head. Quistis didn't really care if any of her friends saw her in her pajama bottoms; if it was a Trepie, she'd blast the damn fool to Hyne and back. And if it was Squall - well, all things considered, she probably would do the exact same thing. It was all Squall's fault that she had nothing to do in the first place!
The thought of being able to relieve some of her pent-up anger made her eyes sparkle with anticipation and she flung the door open hopefully, more than ready to lay waste to whomever was standing behind it.
Instead, all she saw was an inquisitive-looking Selphie and Rinoa on the other side. Quistis let out a tiny sigh of disappointment and backed away to let them inside. Selphie was carrying a very large cup of coffee, and Rinoa held a tray on which Quistis could see enough food for a small army of SeeDs.
"G'morning!" Selphie chirped, elbowing her way past Quistis and into the room.
"We didn't see you at breakfast, and we got worried," Rinoa explained as the door closed behind her. She set the tray down on Quistis' coffee table. "So we thought we'd come check on you and bring you a snack."
"That's... nice of you." Quistis was a little perturbed, but the coffee smelled delicious. Selphie, noticing the brief look of longing on Quistis' face, quickly passed the mug over: Quistis breathed deeply, and the lines on her face faded away.
"Lookit you," Selphie said, grinning. "Sleeping in. What's the occasion?"
All of Quistis' gossip alarms went off simultaneously. They probably knew her Instructorship had been suspended, but she didn't really want to discuss the details of it with them. Idly she toyed with the idea of telling them about her fake date with Zell just to get them off her back, but the repercussions would be horrible. She might actually be expected to date Zell after that.
"I was... up late," she explained lamely.
"Ah." Rinoa and Selphie exchanged knowing glances. Quistis' mental alarms sounded even louder, slowly bringing back the headache that the coffee had only just managed to soothe away.
"So - why the breakfast?" Quistis asked, turning the tables back on them. Selphie and Rinoa were good people at heart, but lately they'd been so obsessed with her marital status that Quistis was afraid to take anything at face value.
Selphie huffed in mock annoyance. "Aren't we allowed to do something nice for our bestest friend?"
"Actually," Rinoa reminded her, "we wanted to do something extra nice for you to - to apologize."
Quistis' eyes narrowed. "Apologize?"
Selphie dramatically threw herself down on the couch next to Quistis, her eyes wide and pleading. "We finally realized just how annoyed you were with us for the whole set-up thing," she said plaintively, "and we wanted to tell you that -" she looked at Rinoa, who nodded in encouragement. "We're sorry," Selphie continued, "and we're going to lay off for a little while. You know, so you can relax."
Quistis said nothing for a moment, sipping her coffee with a warm feeling of satisfaction. So Zell had managed to get them to back off after all. That was nice. Maybe if she laid down the truth now, let them know just how angry she was about it, they'd get the idea for good and -
She looked up from her coffee just in time to catch the two girls exchanging a furtive grin. Oh, Quistis thought. So there was something behind this after all. The alarms in her head started jangling unpleasantly again.
Rinoa smiled at her, coming to sit down on her other side. Classic Pincer Maneuver, Quistis noted sourly. Rinoa had been studying up on her battle tactics classes after all. "We realized you have to be pretty upset over something to have taken a week off of teaching," she said, her voice prompting. "So, y'know..."
"If there's anything you want to tell us, Quisty..." Selphie added, with an eager light in her eyes Quistis definitely didn't like.
"... we'll always be right here, and willing to listen," Rinoa finished proudly.
"And we're not going anywhere," Selphie added as an afterthought. Quistis supposed it was supposed to sound reassuring, but coming from her over-eager friend, it tasted distinctly more like a threat.
She sipped her coffee and remained silent.
"Aw, c'mon, Quisty," Selphie wheedled impatiently, "what's going on? You can trust us."
No, I can't, Quistis wanted to point out, but she wisely remained quiet, this time reaching for a muffin.
"Quistis?" Rinoa's voice this time was hesitant. "Are you... actually that mad?"
Quistis calmly took another sip of coffee. "No," she said, finally. "I'm pleased that the two of you have come to this conclusion. I'm certainly not looking for anyone to date right now, and it will make it much easier on me to not have to turn you two away. I hope you've learned something from this."
The mood in the room very obviously sagged; Selphie's shoulders slumped, and Rinoa's face fell into a frown. A strange feeling of guilt settled itself into Quistis' stomach, much like it had when she'd inadvertently insulted Zell the night before. Was she really this cruel to her friends - and she'd just never noticed before?
"I don't like fighting with you two," Quistis admitted stiffly, hiding her discomfort with another eager gulp of liquid caffeine. Selphie turned to her, surprised; a slow smile spread itself over Rinoa's face. Quistis felt herself blushing and buried her nose in the mug.
Selphie and Rinoa exchanged another subtle glance over Quistis' lap. "So, Quisty," Rinoa began, "What're you doing later tonight?"
"I'm..." Quistis paused. 'Going to dinner with Zell' obviously wasn't an acceptable answer. "I'm... busy."
"Are you, now?" Selphie leaned in, conspiratorially. "I thought you weren't looking to date anyone?"
Quistis shook her head violently. "I'm not!" she insisted, spinning wheels in her brain. "I've got... remedial lessons!" Well, it wasn't a total lie. They were lessons, of a sort; and if the study date last night was any example, Zell needed all the remedial help he could get.
"Remedial lessons?" Rinoa looked puzzled. "But you're not Instructing this week."
"Well," Quistis said with a nervous cough, "I can't abandon my slower students entirely, can I?" Mentally she apologized to Zell - but then hastily took it back. When it came to dating, Zell 'I call her Piggy' Dincht was certainly one of the slower students out there.
"I was hoping we could have a girls' night," Selphie said, pouting. "Are you sure you can't reschedule?"
Quistis thought for a moment. She really did owe Zell for getting the two girls off her back. "No, I can't," she said finally, shaking her head. "I'm sorry."
Selphie glanced at Rinoa, winking quickly before turning back to Quistis. "Alright, then," she said, jumping up. "We'll leave you alone to enjoy your week of vacation!"
"Remember," Rinoa urged, "if you need to talk, we're always here."
Quistis nodded, breaking off a piece of her muffin and toying with it. "Thanks," she murmured half-heartedly as they left.
As soon as the door closed, she took one last long swig of coffee and headed to her bedroom to throw some clothes on. The two girls had left her room much too easily. It sounded to her experienced ear like Selphie and Rinoa were up to something - and she didn't like the thought of that one bit.
.x.x.x.
"Alright," Rinoa said, leaning across the table, "so now what?"
Selphie was still fuming. She had managed to keep her cheerful smile on as they had exited Quistis' dorm; it had grown noticeably wider during their journey down the hall. By the time they were in Commons, her smile was so bright that it was nearly radioactive and just as inherently deadly. Other students were beginning to notice their progress and warily avoid them; everyone knew all too well that Selphie's apocalyptic version of The End involved bright smiles and cheerful fields of flowers. When they finally settled on a small table in the Cafeteria, the surrounding area had cleared almost as quickly as Selphie's grotesque parody of a grin.
"She didn't cancel it!" Her small fist hit the table, making the silverware jump. "She's still trying to prove her point, and she's going to ruin Zell's relationship to do it!"
Rinoa hushed her. "All we can do is break up that date," she hissed. "It'll be harder this time. We absolutely can't let her know it was us, but it's for the best!"
"What's for the best?" Irvine came out of nowhere, collapsing into a nearby chair casually and tipping his hat. "How are my two loveliest ladies doin' this mornin'? And what's for the best?"
Rinoa opened her mouth to make up some lie, but Selphie spilled it first. "Quistis won't cancel her date with Zell!" she said, pouting. "We even offered to call off all the blind dates with the Trepies, and she's still going."
"Woah, sweetie," Irvine said, an eyebrow lifting. "Have you ever considered," he offered, "that maybe Quistis and Zell really just like each other?"
Silence covered the table. Irvine glanced up. Both Selphie and Rinoa were staring at him, mouths agape, eyes slightly glazed.
"Okay, so no," Irvine continued smoothly. "But really, gals. Maybe they do. They're suited for each other, don't ya think?" More silence met this statement. Irvine barreled on. "They seem to be happy at least, right? And that's all you wanted - for Quistis to find somebody to care about, somebody to spend time with." They were still staring, so Irvine finally waved his arms in frustration. "Right?"
"You've got to be kidding, Irvy," Selphie said finally. "Quistis and Zell are SO not compatible."
Rinoa shook her head. "They'd never last," she offered. "Besides, isn't Zell dating that girl in the library?"
"The one with the pigtail?" Irvine frowned in thought. "Y'know, I dunno."
"Hmph," Selphie added, expressing her views on simultaneously dating two girls at once and hoping Irvine Kinneas got the point.
Irvine shook his head at them both. "Look you two, you've got to stop this meddlin' with Quisty's life." He tapped the table in front of them. "Out of all of us, Quistis is the most sure of what she wants, 'kay? An' if she's happy, you ain't got no right to step in there otherwise."
He turned to Selphie, pointing gently at her. "Promise me that you won't follow her on this date and try to wreck it, babe. Promise."
Selphie sulked, her bottom lip coming out in a fairly endearing way, but in the end Irvine's disapproving frown was too much. "I promise," she whispered.
"You too," he said, turning to Rinoa with the chastising finger. "Promise me. Quisty don't deserve this from you two."
Rinoa sighed reluctantly. "I promise, Irvine."
He gave them both an appraising look, before finally nodding in acceptance. "Good. Let those two have their fun." A thoughtful look flitted across Irvine's expression and he rubbed his chin. "Speakin' of which, I still need to visit the supply room if I want to get all this down..."
"Get all what down?" Selphie asked suspiciously.
Irvine blanched and quickly covered with a lazy grin. "Oh, nothin', Sefie darlin', nothin' at all." He stood up and beat a hasty retreat from the table, Selphie following his progress with narrowed eyes. When he was gone, she turned to Rinoa with a frown.
"I'm going to have to hack his email account again," she concluded. "I know he's up to something, I can just smell it!"
"Selphie," Rinoa began, shaking her head. "If Irvine's already upset about us meddling with Quistis' life, he's going to be furious when you start snooping in his own."
"Irvy loves me," Selphie said easily, pulling Rinoa to her feet. "Besides, I have a feeling about this one. I bet it has to do with Quistis and Zell! If I can catch him in the act..."
"That's a big if," Rinoa said doubtfully. Then she finally realized the direction Selphie was pulling her in. "Why are we going to the Library? I thought we agreed not to set Quistis up this time."
Selphie blushed slightly but only tightened her grip around Rinoa's hand and pulled her faster down the hallway. "Technically speaking, we agreed that we wouldn't meddle in Quistis' business anymore. That doesn't mean other people can't, though."
The two girls burst into the Library, Selphie tugging a still-reluctant Rinoa through the doors. They were immediately hushed by the librarian behind the desk - a short, skinny boy with a fierce glare. The glare turned into a suspicious squint as he recognized them.
"You!" Selphie squeaked, and the boy hushed her again, glancing around at the working students.
"Study room," he whispered loudly at them, gesturing to one of the small enclosures that lined one wall of the library. Selphie nodded eagerly and pulled Rinoa into the nearest empty one; the boy threw a furtive glance over his shoulder and followed, pulling the door closed behind them.
"So," the boy said, his eyes narrowing into squints again, "it's my turn, is it?"
Selphie looked startled. "Huh?"
"Oh," Rinoa said in realization. "No, this isn't about that date."
"Oh?" The boy echoed her, his tone almost threatening. "And why not? I'm next, aren't I?"
"Oh!" Selphie chirped. "That! No, we threw out the list. No more dating for now!"
The squinty-eyed boy's face fell, and he mumbled a much less enthused "Oh."
"But we do have an eensy-teensy favor to ask you," Selphie said, leaning in on the table with a conspiratorial wink, which the boy didn't return.
Personally, Squinty (as Rinoa was beginning to think of him) looked less than inclined to do them any favors after finding out about the dissolution of The List, but once again Selphie somehow managed to save the day with her impeccable logic.
"We need you to be Quistis' bodyguard!"
Both Rinoa and Squinty stared. It was a well-known fact that the Library Committee considered themselves to be the intellectuals of Balamb Garden, the underlying prerequisite to that being an almost total aversion to combat and physical exertion. Technically speaking, Rinoa would have made a better bodyguard than Squinty. Not so technically speaking, one of the christened SeeD trolls on Squall's desk would have made a better bodyguard, if just for the scare factor.
"No, really!" Selphie said with a pout. "Just think of it as the next step up from dating. We're entrusting you with Quistis' personal safety."
Squinty squared his shoulders, narrowing his eyes yet again. "What in the world are you talking about?"
Rinoa opened her mouth to say - what, she didn't know, but she felt the strange urge to insert some sense into the conversation. However, Selphie barreled on, caught up in her own enthusiasm.
"Look, Quistis is at a very difficult time in her life right now, and she's made a couple decisions that aren't... appropriate. So we need you to give her a... a helping hand, yeah, just a little bit of help to get her back on track!" She hopped from one foot to the other. "Look, uh..."
"Martin," the squinty-eyed boy interjected sourly.
"Martin!" Selphie squealed, as if it were the best name on the planet. Personally, Rinoa thought 'Squinty' was a better fit. "Look, Martin, we need your help to ruin this date, and -"
The change was profound. Squinty's entire body froze up, and he leaned forward, an angry look spreading across his face. "Date?" he hissed.
"Uh, yeah," Selphie replied, a little perturbed. "Quisty's going on a date with Zell Dincht tonight, and... well, it's in everybody's best interest if the date doesn't go well," she finished with a beaming smile.
"Consider it done," Squinty said immediately, with a glint in his eye that made Rinoa more than a little nervous.
As they left the study room, Rinoa spotted a girl behind the desk - shy, pretty face, with one long pigtail hanging down her back. She tugged Selphie around the nearest bookshelf. "Isn't that Zell's girlfriend?"
Selphie craned her neck around the shelf. "Yeah!" she exclaimed. "Should we go talk to her?"
"No," Rinoa hissed, "we can't let her know that Zell is - that Quisty is - about the date!"
Selphie bit her lip, pensive. "You're right." She shook her head. "But it'll all be over tonight!"
As the two girls exited the library, Selphie leaned in and gave an exaggerated wink to the girl with the pigtail, repeating in a loud stage whisper, "It'll all be over tonight." They didn't notice the flush that spread across her face, or the utterly confused look she gave them as they left.
.x.x.x.
Quistis had tried everywhere - the dorms, the Cafeteria, the Training Center, even the Library - and the last place she would have expected to find Zell Dincht was in the custodial corridor.
She'd actually just been walking past the custodial desk on her way to the laundry - maybe he was in there - and she'd heard a familiar voice. "Zell?" she hissed.
The blond jumped into the air, startled, but managed to do an impressive turn and come down mostly facing the other way. "Quisty?" Zell said, his voice surprised and a little shaky. She noticed him glancing nervously up and down the corridor, as if searching for something. When he finally seemed satisfied that she was alone, he relaxed slightly. "What's up?"
"What are you doing down here?" Quistis asked pointedly.
"Oh. Heh..." Zell rubbed his tattoo nervously. "I, uh, I spilled somethin' on my carpet, an'... yeah, it smells real bad."
"Were you running with your ice cream again?" Quistis asked, arching an eyebrow.
"No!" Zell exclaimed, but then hastily gathered himself together. "I mean... uhh, yeah." Inwardly, he was gritting his teeth. At least last time he had the perfectly valid excuse of wiping out while trying to do that new move on his T-board. If he only could've gotten all that ice cream into his mouth while upside-down, he would have proved once and for all that 360-degree turns really could prevent brain-freeze. This time was different, though. Now he ran the danger of sounding like a klutz in front of Quistis. Oh, when he got his hands on him, Squinty was going to pay...
Quistis opened her mouth to make a comment, and then thought better of it, closing her lips tightly and shaking her head. "Zell, we need to talk."
"Hold on." Zell turned back to the custodial desk, signing a messy signature across the paperwork and giving the secretary a broad grin. "We okay then?" he asked her; she nodded, and Zell turned back to Quistis.
"So, what's up?"
She took off at a brisk pace down the hall, trying to find an area where there weren't many people. "Zell, we need to -" Abruptly she stopped, reminded of something.
"First," she said, swallowing and squaring her shoulders slightly, "I - I need to thank you. Selphie and Rinoa both said they were finished with the... blind dates." Her fingers clenched automatically in a way that made Zell flinch slightly.
"Eh," he said, shrugging, attempting to get her to relax, "it was nothin'. Just part of the deal."
Quistis snapped back into focus. "Yes, the deal," she repeated. "Zell, I have a bad idea about tonight. I think Selphie and Rinoa are... up to something."
"Up to somethin'?" Zell stretched lazily. "When are those two NOT up to somethin'?"
Quistis shook her head. "That's not what I mean. I believe the two of them are going to... interfere in our... lessons, if they can."
Zell blinked. "Whaddaya mean?"
"Oh, I don't know," Quistis said with a sigh, sitting down on a nearby bench. "They were in my room this morning, and they kept asking me about tonight. It was highly suspicious." She sighed again. "They can't leave well enough alone, Selphie and Rinoa. I believe... they think I've found someone to date myself, and for some reason they want to interfere."
Quistis sounded so depressed that Zell sat down on the bench next to her, grinning. "C'mon, cheer up, Quisty," he said, reaching out to poke her shoulder. "We can still go."
"With them following us?" Quistis shot back. "What if they assume I'm dating you?"
Zell shrugged, still grinning. "What if they can't follow us?"
Quistis paused, looking at him. "What on earth do you mean?"
"You've never snuck out of Garden, have you?" Zell snickered at the look of utter shock on Quistis' face. "C'mon, Quisty, it's really easy. There’s lots of ways to do it. There's a back door in the kitchen they use to load and unload the hot dogs - eh, I mean, the food for the Cafeteria."
Quistis was now looking at him with chagrin. "Zell, we absolutely cannot sneak out of Garden!"
"Gonna have to," Zell retorted. "Squall said we weren't allowed go near Balamb for a couple of days anyhow!"
There was a moment of silence while the two remembered the vicious tongue-lashing. "Alright," Quistis finally admitted. "You're right. We are going to have to sneak out."
Zell pumped a fist in the air. "You just leave it to me, Quisty!"
Quistis buried her face in the palm of her hand. She was breaking a perfect (well, near-perfect) record of Garden obedience to sneak out. For a date. With Zell Dincht. And because Seifer Almasy had ruined her Balamb privileges. It was all a little much for her dignity to take.
Zell, however, looked even more excited than before. "Alright. I gotta re-Junction - who has Diablos anyways? - and then we're golden, baby! E! N! C! None! And we're out that door!" It was almost a cheer, and Quistis hushed him instinctively, biting back a snarky comment relating to Zell's Junctioning priorities and why sneaking out rated higher on the list than an actual mission.
"Oh, and wear civvies," Zell added as an afterthought. "Nobody in Balamb'll recognize ya in civvies."
"It's a date, Zell," Quistis said. "People tend to dress up for occasions like that."
"Really?" Zell shook his head, distracted by his plotting. "Anyway - meet me in the Cafeteria around 1700 and we'll head out! I'll take care of everything else!"
Quistis sighed and stood to go. She had three hours to prepare herself until - quite possibly - all hell broke loose.
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Notes: This is an LJ repost of a chapter that already exists on fanfiction.net. So don't be surprised if you've already read it! We just need to update the LJ version so that we have somewhere to post the PORN later.
Other notes: huge thanks to lassarina for all the beta readthrough-ing she has done.