No idea whose still on here.

[brokenlilgirl]

I haven't updated in about 2 years. Alot has happened and Alot has stayed the same. After Jason and I broke up I started dating Right after to this boy I met at a club. [smart right?] And 2 weeks after Jason moved out he moved in with the girl he was cheating on me with. Slap in the face. We dated on and off for about 8 months. The most psycho relationship possible. He psychically abused me, emotionally abused me, Cheated on me. And what did I do? Sat there the whole time knowing just like I did with Jason. We moved up North together trying to get away from here thinking it was This environment that was doing it to us. Oh no. We lived up there for a month and he was back to his old ways. I moved back down he continued up there for about another month. I tried to get away from him but I was addicted. I have no idea why looking back. We were on and off again until finally I was OK with being alone. I think that was my problem all along. Ever since I was little I always had to have someone with me before I fell asleep. I honestly think that's why my parents divorced cause I never gave them their alone time. I would cry and cry until someone would just hold me to sleep. And if I awoke during the night and no one was there I would scream and yell until someone would sleep with me. After the whole JC phase ended I did my own thing being single. Moved out to get away from bad memories in that house. Every Ex I was with was in that house and I just had to get out. I did that for 7 months. Got my "party" stage out of me. Got into some mess at work got fired for it. Tried to Sexual Harassment Sue them then I just gave up on it. Men came in and out of my life like they have always. After that with the economy I couldn't find a job for shit. My mom had to pay my rent for a few months and that's the last I wanted for someone to help me out. I hate being co dependent. Then I Had a bf he left me for his ex. The usual story. Now I think I met a good one. But Honestly who knows now a days? Someone could be so two faced. Its been done to me many times. I am not going to sit here and googly eyes like I use to. I'm just going to say I am hoping for the best in this one. I know I am a great loving caring person and all I ever want to do is make someone happy. And I try my best and if I fail. I gave it my all. Who knows.

Maybe I'll update in another year. If anyone even reads this.