mmm yeah
Welp.
Peter's Gone.
We're still doin' pretty well.
We talk everyday.
I knew this was going to be difficult, I knew it was going to hurt and what not, but then again I expected to have friends that would be there when I needed them, even in school. Granted, School just started, but in the past couple days of school I have grown increasingly depressed. I mean, jesus christ, Last year I had all these friends, all these people that I could talk to about anything and everything, it got to the point where I would go to tell everyone something and I'd miss someone because there were so many, ya know?
Ya know what? Since I've been in school, ya know who has been talking to me the most? Tom, Adam & Ian. wow.
The other day I tested it too. I walked in, said Hi to Rachael, then she ran off to do whatever, and I sat down. I sat there for a good FIVE MINUTES, no one so much as realized I was there, I might as well have been invisible, then Adam saw me and asked if I was having fun, I told him no, so he sat down and talked to me.
The next day in lunch with Tom & Ian, they kept asking me what was wrong, when I told them, they did their whole little "We have to make her laugh" thing, and it worked, it really did. Ian gave me a shoulder massage & Tom was scratching the back of my head so I would relax.
I mean, everytime I see Al, she either looks pissed off or upset, so I don't wanna bother her, I have no idea wtf is going on in her life to try to help her, but at the same time, she didn't try to make any effort to come talk to me.
Everytime I see Amila & Amanda they're with Stephanie, and I've already said a 100 times over I don't want to crowd Stephanie. She hates me, and she has the right to do so, I understand, I don't want her to think I'm trying to take away all her friends, it's bad enough when I saw Adam & them at her Table I ran over there to talk to him then everyone left his table to go to mine. Amila really didn't talk to me untill like Friday. or whatever day after she broke up with Eric, IDFK. Amanda & I talked once. The day she invited Kasey and I over to her house to go in the jacuzzi. We had fun, we really did. Still didn't change anything, but whatever.
When I'm at home, I talk to Pete & Kasey about my problems usually. Scott calls or stops by every once & a while, I talk to Amy sometimes. That's about it.
Never in my life have I ever felt so fucking alone. Honestly. I cried. I talked to Pete for about 5 minutes, said I love you & what not, hung up and cried. Granted t hat could be because I miss him, but still. I thought......I thought I had friends I could rely on to help me with the day to day stuff, ya know? Help me keep my mind on something else so that I can be happy and just be "Ange" as everyone says. I guess..I guess I was horribly wrong. Whatever though, what can you do, really? You can't force people to be your friend, you can't make them talk to you. It's just sad because Lauren Casey tries to talk to me more than some of my friends do. Shit, Lana & Dumas have said hi & hugged me more than some of my friends have.
Honestly, if Tom, Adam & Ian weren't there, I think I would be completely and totally lost.
blah.
Whatever.
Class... well.. yeah.. Class is interesting.
1. A House Office Assistent Stephanie Besko
2. Short Fiction~ Booch Gery, Brett, Jessy
3. Enviromental Science~Muchong Tom, Lauren
4. Seminar~Perhogan The old kids & Mandi B.
5. Senior Comp~Mrs. Woods No one really
6. Modern World History~Graz No one.
7. Health~Lapointe Not a damn person
8. Geology~Muchong Jessi J.
I mean like, Craigory is in my seminar now & in health with me, but I don't talk to that kid, I don't think he even knows who the hell I am, so yeah.
I have to ride a new bus, without Bobbi.
And to make things even worse, We don't pick up the Moravian Medows kids, so I sit all alone.
I finally got to see Timmy, She looked like she was going to like pass out or cry, idk which.
Blah.
I don't even know what to do anymore about anything.
My rents and I got into a HUGE fight the other day. We screamed at eachother and what not. I don't even know why I wanted to stay here, to be honest. Eh, whatever. All I need is to get my birth certificate and SS card. *nods*
heh.
Anyone know what I did all day yesterday?
Honestly?
I read four mangas.
Watched 1-6 of the anime on DVD, then sat on youtube and watched 22 other episodes that were in segments of 3-4.
That was my entire day.
I dunno. Maybe I'm being selfish.
That is totally possible.
But then again, I do remember tryin to help everyone even when I was having problems.
Peter's Gone.
We're still doin' pretty well.
We talk everyday.
I knew this was going to be difficult, I knew it was going to hurt and what not, but then again I expected to have friends that would be there when I needed them, even in school. Granted, School just started, but in the past couple days of school I have grown increasingly depressed. I mean, jesus christ, Last year I had all these friends, all these people that I could talk to about anything and everything, it got to the point where I would go to tell everyone something and I'd miss someone because there were so many, ya know?
Ya know what? Since I've been in school, ya know who has been talking to me the most? Tom, Adam & Ian. wow.
The other day I tested it too. I walked in, said Hi to Rachael, then she ran off to do whatever, and I sat down. I sat there for a good FIVE MINUTES, no one so much as realized I was there, I might as well have been invisible, then Adam saw me and asked if I was having fun, I told him no, so he sat down and talked to me.
The next day in lunch with Tom & Ian, they kept asking me what was wrong, when I told them, they did their whole little "We have to make her laugh" thing, and it worked, it really did. Ian gave me a shoulder massage & Tom was scratching the back of my head so I would relax.
I mean, everytime I see Al, she either looks pissed off or upset, so I don't wanna bother her, I have no idea wtf is going on in her life to try to help her, but at the same time, she didn't try to make any effort to come talk to me.
Everytime I see Amila & Amanda they're with Stephanie, and I've already said a 100 times over I don't want to crowd Stephanie. She hates me, and she has the right to do so, I understand, I don't want her to think I'm trying to take away all her friends, it's bad enough when I saw Adam & them at her Table I ran over there to talk to him then everyone left his table to go to mine. Amila really didn't talk to me untill like Friday. or whatever day after she broke up with Eric, IDFK. Amanda & I talked once. The day she invited Kasey and I over to her house to go in the jacuzzi. We had fun, we really did. Still didn't change anything, but whatever.
When I'm at home, I talk to Pete & Kasey about my problems usually. Scott calls or stops by every once & a while, I talk to Amy sometimes. That's about it.
Never in my life have I ever felt so fucking alone. Honestly. I cried. I talked to Pete for about 5 minutes, said I love you & what not, hung up and cried. Granted t hat could be because I miss him, but still. I thought......I thought I had friends I could rely on to help me with the day to day stuff, ya know? Help me keep my mind on something else so that I can be happy and just be "Ange" as everyone says. I guess..I guess I was horribly wrong. Whatever though, what can you do, really? You can't force people to be your friend, you can't make them talk to you. It's just sad because Lauren Casey tries to talk to me more than some of my friends do. Shit, Lana & Dumas have said hi & hugged me more than some of my friends have.
Honestly, if Tom, Adam & Ian weren't there, I think I would be completely and totally lost.
blah.
Whatever.
Class... well.. yeah.. Class is interesting.
1. A House Office Assistent Stephanie Besko
2. Short Fiction~ Booch Gery, Brett, Jessy
3. Enviromental Science~Muchong Tom, Lauren
4. Seminar~Perhogan The old kids & Mandi B.
5. Senior Comp~Mrs. Woods No one really
6. Modern World History~Graz No one.
7. Health~Lapointe Not a damn person
8. Geology~Muchong Jessi J.
I mean like, Craigory is in my seminar now & in health with me, but I don't talk to that kid, I don't think he even knows who the hell I am, so yeah.
I have to ride a new bus, without Bobbi.
And to make things even worse, We don't pick up the Moravian Medows kids, so I sit all alone.
I finally got to see Timmy, She looked like she was going to like pass out or cry, idk which.
Blah.
I don't even know what to do anymore about anything.
My rents and I got into a HUGE fight the other day. We screamed at eachother and what not. I don't even know why I wanted to stay here, to be honest. Eh, whatever. All I need is to get my birth certificate and SS card. *nods*
heh.
Anyone know what I did all day yesterday?
Honestly?
I read four mangas.
Watched 1-6 of the anime on DVD, then sat on youtube and watched 22 other episodes that were in segments of 3-4.
That was my entire day.
I dunno. Maybe I'm being selfish.
That is totally possible.
But then again, I do remember tryin to help everyone even when I was having problems.