Wow...

[brokenhearted1]

Heh, I must have been on depression pills when I updated last. Don't worry guys I'm not too emo anymore. I am happy now. And no it's not because I am in a relationship because I'm not. I finally got my license a few weeks ago and I am on the hunt for a good job. This past week Emilys cousins came down from Marquette. :-) Last Tuesday Emily and I went to the mall with Dave and we saw the movie House of Wax. Between you and I...it was so lame! Sorry Dave but you need to get a personality cause you bored me to death. Well, that brings me to why I am happy. I am usually so lame and shy/quiet around Emilys cousin Kyle. Dave showed me that if I act like that then Kyle won't ever get to see who I really am and need to say it he wouldn't EVER like me not that he does anyways. So this past week when I went to Emilys grandparents house (where her counsins were staying) I opened up and was myself around her cousin. :-) He opened up around me once I was myself. Usually there is a weird tension between us. But since I acted normal around him he was able to loosen up and be cool around me. Need to say things turned out really well. I was about to give up but he gave me hope. There are so many mixed signals though. He says he likes girls who are 14 because he says older ones are sluts but then he says 14 is too young. I don't understand. He drives me nuts! He was telling me how he wants a girl with good morals and values and someone who respects herself and her faith. Umm HELLO! I'm standing right infront of you!!!! I'm everthing he described. There is probably just one thing I don't have that he wants...the looks. He goes for tall skinny blondes. Heh, I guess I'll never be good enough no matter what I do. I guess it just hurts to love him so much but it even hurts more that he'll never understand just how much I love him. I've been in love with this guy since I was in 7th grade. I try to let him go but there is something about him that won't let me give up. It would be for the better if I could get away from him. :-( So much happened while he was here that makes me want to not let go.

Love sucks!

It wouldn't be called a crush if it didn't hurt so much!

How can you say you know me when you didn't know you broke my heart?

Love the one who gets away

You said you loved me I said it too, the only thing is I didn't lie to you...

My worst nightmare is for me to say i love you and you don't love me back