You cannot handle my truth
You know I have some across people in my life, very seldom and very few who try to understand the way I live my life. A lady the other day says she can read the type of person you are within minutes of meeting you, she then asks for my palm to read it. I thought to myself what the hell. Her words spoke a lot of truth and as I compared her with the way she responded and read others I was able to see that she was not completely full of shit.She goes on to read my palm and tells me "You are so wise". It came as a surprise to hear this from a lady perhaps twice my age, but flattering nonetheless. She pulls me aside and begins asking me more questions. She said she was very interested in getting to know me better and how I live my life. She asks a variety of questions and I answer honestly.She goes on to say that I share this gift to see the true beauty in others and that I live life deeply. She then went on to say how I needed to share that with others. She then went on to ask me why I didn't. She said she saw how my friends cared for me, but how I left a part of myself closed off. I replied honestly to her, "I am not being fake if that is what you are implying. We all have many depths and sides to ourselves and all you see back there with my friends is all me, it is the part of me that yes is closer to the surface than the side I am sharing with you now, but it is me. The reason I keep a part of myself from being seen isn't out of fear, it is because some people don't want to get as deep as I can get, some people aren't ready to get as deep as I can get. How do I know this? you may say or why am I assuming? well I am not.I live a life very deeply and in saying that I am not saying I live life over analyzing and thinking constantly at all. I am neither saying that I am a ball of sensitivity walking around aimlessly getting hurt. I am saying I am one who feels things good and bad deeper than most, I can see a sight and feel emotions that others would never think to or begin to feel....why is that....because I live a life so close to my heart. More recently though I hvce dicovered I live a life so close to my soul where sadly the majority doesn't and therefore they cannot understand the things I feel or the things I may see and come to describe. I do not say this in a way to come off better than anybody because that I am not. I also know that although the majority of th world does not live life so soulfully as I do, that there are people out there who do. Perhaps it is those that notice me and confront me as this woman did, this night. I think we are all capable of living a life so incredibly deeply, I just know that our society and this world has come to lead us to build layers upon the most beautiful thing in all of us and what makes us all the same and connected. So yes, you are right. I do not share all of me even with some of my closest of friends, but it is not out of fear and it is not out of being fake, but just because I feel they are not ready to hear all of my truth yet, does not mean we cannot get there in the future and even if that day is never seen I will keep them around because the part of me they do see they see as beautiful and I think to myself if you only saw more of me you would see even more beauty, but knowing you saw a part of me and loved it and appreciated it makes me complete. Writing this now though I can see how my view of friendships varies so much from the way others see it. Although I would love to share my soul with my friends, it is something that happens seldomly. Some never ever find one to even share and feel that deep level with, but if I happen to get the chance to again, it will be with one. I do not have one person in mind, but I see a person in the future coming into my life who gets me and I get them and together we share our souls together and get lost in each other.I love the way I live my life....some people may see it as unfulfilled but that further proves to me that you have no idea what I feel everyday I am alive, but more so never once as you read this do you genuinely put youself out of your own perspective.And that is okay too because you just answered why I was never able to share this part of myself with you. And I love you anyway. I love love love everyone I have ever come to meet :)