(no subject)
i'm realizing alot about myself lately. I've changed sooooooo incredibly much over the past few months. like, idk. its hard to accept the change. At this very moment its a weird time for me. I've got friends threatening their own lives, ones that have fallen in love. some that have fallen out of love. I dont know. its weird. its a weird feeling i have right now.
i had a very comfortable disscussion with the 3 ladies in my fam. My Aunt, My Mom && my g-ma. It was about trust and everything. It was... idk. weird. i guess. cuz, it was one night, where i didnt get judged, or made fun of by them. My Aunt and uncle saw my new piercings. (i havent seen them since christmas) and surprisingly, they didnt have anything negative to say. I just rebuttled with "i'm young. I'm having fun. so idc" that shut them up right quick and in a hurry. I am realizing, that, i can be honest about how i feel. and honestly not really care how others feel after I say it. These past few months have taught me more than I have ever learned in my entire existance. But i know I'm sick of being the ugly one of the group. the fat one of the group. the tall one of the group. the talent-less one of the group. the loner. the depressed one. the quiet one. the shy one. the pathetic one. the directionless one. like. I'm half way thru my junior year, and i still have not the SLIGHTEST clue as to what i want to do or where i want to go. And dont try to comfort me in this. Because 1) i know its all true. and you do too. and 2) there's nothing you can say or do to make me change the way I feel.
and on top of this all..... I STILL THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I MISS YOU EVERYDAY.
i had a very comfortable disscussion with the 3 ladies in my fam. My Aunt, My Mom && my g-ma. It was about trust and everything. It was... idk. weird. i guess. cuz, it was one night, where i didnt get judged, or made fun of by them. My Aunt and uncle saw my new piercings. (i havent seen them since christmas) and surprisingly, they didnt have anything negative to say. I just rebuttled with "i'm young. I'm having fun. so idc" that shut them up right quick and in a hurry. I am realizing, that, i can be honest about how i feel. and honestly not really care how others feel after I say it. These past few months have taught me more than I have ever learned in my entire existance. But i know I'm sick of being the ugly one of the group. the fat one of the group. the tall one of the group. the talent-less one of the group. the loner. the depressed one. the quiet one. the shy one. the pathetic one. the directionless one. like. I'm half way thru my junior year, and i still have not the SLIGHTEST clue as to what i want to do or where i want to go. And dont try to comfort me in this. Because 1) i know its all true. and you do too. and 2) there's nothing you can say or do to make me change the way I feel.
and on top of this all..... I STILL THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I MISS YOU EVERYDAY.