(no subject)
first of all, fuck megan, just fuck her.
i am soo stressed.not about the exams.but about my lack of stress about my exams.ahhhhhhh.This time last year my head was out my bedroom roof.and right now, i really dont care.i studied a lot tonight.but not because i wanted to.just because my mum made me.i really would have rather just sat about, but anyway.i went up to my grandpa's after school.i fucking hate jane.she really is the only person in this whole entire world who i truly hate.she's actually an alrite person.i just wish she wasnt there.she's totally changing the house.she's re-did the living room she made it ugly i might add.she changed to bathroom and 2 of the bedrooms.and all the photos of my gran, or me and other people including my grandpa have been moved to this really high shelf that you have to walk up the stairs to see.and downstairs it's all her stupid fucking family. why cant she go stay with them, and insult them.fucking cow.i can handle her insulting me,but the time she insulted my gran.i hope that she rots in hell for that.i think she said it to try and make me accept her more,well she should think about whats she's going to say, before she says it.i hate her.i really do.she thinks she's so fucking perfect and she's not not at all.not anywhere near as perfect as my gran was okay maybe my grandpa is thinner now.but he was happier with my gran.he was.i mean he's happy now,but his smile was so much wider,and his eyes so much brighter when my gran was alive.i'm so happy thats he's happy again because he really does deserve to be.i just wish the person that made him happy wasnt such a fucking bitch.i hate her.i hate her.she thinks that she can come into my life and pretend like my gran never existed she, along with everyone else thinks that beacause i was only 8 when my gran died that i dont remember her and that i dont miss her bullshit. i miss her so much. i would give anything to have her back here with me. anything. i can still remember what she smelled like. i wish that smell could be fresh and not a memory. i wish i could hug her. i wish i could have a proper conversation with her instead of me just talking to the air and pretending she can hear me/ i wish i got to say goodbye to her properly instead of saying to a piece on pretty stone that has her name on it. my eyes are filled with water, tears are streming down my face and i'm going to go and hold her picture and cry mysrlf to sleep, again.
i am soo stressed.not about the exams.but about my lack of stress about my exams.ahhhhhhh.This time last year my head was out my bedroom roof.and right now, i really dont care.i studied a lot tonight.but not because i wanted to.just because my mum made me.i really would have rather just sat about, but anyway.i went up to my grandpa's after school.i fucking hate jane.she really is the only person in this whole entire world who i truly hate.she's actually an alrite person.i just wish she wasnt there.she's totally changing the house.she's re-did the living room she made it ugly i might add.she changed to bathroom and 2 of the bedrooms.and all the photos of my gran, or me and other people including my grandpa have been moved to this really high shelf that you have to walk up the stairs to see.and downstairs it's all her stupid fucking family. why cant she go stay with them, and insult them.fucking cow.i can handle her insulting me,but the time she insulted my gran.i hope that she rots in hell for that.i think she said it to try and make me accept her more,well she should think about whats she's going to say, before she says it.i hate her.i really do.she thinks she's so fucking perfect and she's not not at all.not anywhere near as perfect as my gran was okay maybe my grandpa is thinner now.but he was happier with my gran.he was.i mean he's happy now,but his smile was so much wider,and his eyes so much brighter when my gran was alive.i'm so happy thats he's happy again because he really does deserve to be.i just wish the person that made him happy wasnt such a fucking bitch.i hate her.i hate her.she thinks that she can come into my life and pretend like my gran never existed she, along with everyone else thinks that beacause i was only 8 when my gran died that i dont remember her and that i dont miss her bullshit. i miss her so much. i would give anything to have her back here with me. anything. i can still remember what she smelled like. i wish that smell could be fresh and not a memory. i wish i could hug her. i wish i could have a proper conversation with her instead of me just talking to the air and pretending she can hear me/ i wish i got to say goodbye to her properly instead of saying to a piece on pretty stone that has her name on it. my eyes are filled with water, tears are streming down my face and i'm going to go and hold her picture and cry mysrlf to sleep, again.