he doesn't look a thing like Jesus. . .

[brokenaquarius]

I go home tomorrow for Spring Break. That should be fairly entertaining. A lot has been happening there with my sister since I left. I really have no clue what's going on in her head, but she's been getting into a lot of trouble lately. She's been fighting with family members and what not and just being stubborn and inconsiderate. I often feel like I've let my siblings down since I can't truly fulfill my role as big brother. I'm pretty much never there and I honestly won't be there anymore. Yes, I will be home this summer vacation but after that, I won't be going home and staying for that long of a time. It just simply isn't the place I want to be. I honestly feel that when I'm home, my family begins to rely on me too much for things. I always find myself playing the middle man to all their disagreements, and I don't want that in my life anymore. I'm changing and growing everyday and it's about time they started to as well.

The worst part of life is having to deal with the pain of not getting what you want when you want it. It's taking me a long time to fully understand and accept this fact. I really do miss the days when I could just push everything down and not let if affect me. Since I've gotten here, I haven't been able to do that. I'm letting people get to me and feeling things that I've never felt before. I suppose I'm becoming more human, in a sense, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. The next thing I'm going to do is accept the fact that your life can be fucked at any moment for any reason and there's really nothing you can do about it.