Me and My regrets and.......
These past couple of days have been the worst days of my life. I am dealing with the shock of being pregnant and the stress of being alone all at the same time. What is the purpose of all this hurt and pain that I am going through? GOD knows I have tried and tried and cried. I regret telling my mom about my pregnancy, and wish that I should have just kept it to myself and just raised this child alone. I can still do that, but what kind of life will I be giving to my child? My mom has threatened to keep me away from my family and is taking the only people that I love away from me. I have a 1yr old and 3yr old sister who are like my own children, and a 15yr old sister who is also my world. If I don't give up this child then I will have to give up my family and my life, but if I do give her up then I have my family back. I can't do that to my child, I can't give her up b/c of my own selfish wantings and desires. No one ever said that life was going to be easy, I always knew that it would be difficult. However, why does it seem that GOD is making every horrible thing happen to me. Why do I have to choose btwn life and death for someone else? Why do I have to choose btwn keeping a child and losing a family? More than likely I am going to be scared for life. I guess I am going to end up as one of those people who keep themselves busy with work so that they wont have to think about their personal problems.After this point in my life, it is 100% likely that I am going to be on some type of antidepresant. I just knwo it for a fact b/c all of this shit just has me screwed up in the head. When will I have my peace?