Lost in a world of utter chaos
I havent written in this thing in 3 months, and why is it that something bad that happens always draws you back to your core? Well, here I am. I thought I had finally gotten it almost all together, and that I was on my way to being the person I wanted to be...but alas I was wrong...It's now 6 in the morning. I went to bed around 2 & woke up at 5...Why, you may ask? The answer is....heartbreak.
I honestly dont know who all will read this, and honestly...I dont care. I'm a very superstitious person, and I believe in signs. I don't know why that is...I know it's childish in a way, but I guess it's something I picked up from my dad. All the signs lead to you, but why, why do you do this?! I guess I should have went back to the very first sign that I recieved..."All Hallows Eve"...you know the time when gap between the living and the dead is very thin, and if the "evil" dead are strong enuff then they can cross over... but I didnt...I wanted to see the good in this, just like I always have in anything else...
I know I never said this to you, but in a way I did love you.... & the sad thing is..I havent even tried to begin to love anyone since the first person I ever fell in love with.....I know I said I have...but I havent......but I honestly tried w/ you b/c I thought maybe if I just took a risk for once, then it would finally all work out for me, but it didnt..... & this is it for me... I told you if you messed this up...then that was it for me....no more...
I have much more to write, but just in case you happen across this thing somehow....Ill save it all for when I see you face to face...if I ever see you face to face again...
I honestly dont know who all will read this, and honestly...I dont care. I'm a very superstitious person, and I believe in signs. I don't know why that is...I know it's childish in a way, but I guess it's something I picked up from my dad. All the signs lead to you, but why, why do you do this?! I guess I should have went back to the very first sign that I recieved..."All Hallows Eve"...you know the time when gap between the living and the dead is very thin, and if the "evil" dead are strong enuff then they can cross over... but I didnt...I wanted to see the good in this, just like I always have in anything else...
I know I never said this to you, but in a way I did love you.... & the sad thing is..I havent even tried to begin to love anyone since the first person I ever fell in love with.....I know I said I have...but I havent......but I honestly tried w/ you b/c I thought maybe if I just took a risk for once, then it would finally all work out for me, but it didnt..... & this is it for me... I told you if you messed this up...then that was it for me....no more...
I have much more to write, but just in case you happen across this thing somehow....Ill save it all for when I see you face to face...if I ever see you face to face again...