Umm..Ok BLAH!
Last 2 weeks have been almost like hell for me....& last night just made it worse.... Justin, Candace, & I were in a wreck in Mobile..... the saddest part is that we were sitting at a red light & got rear ended.... we were doing exsactly what we were supposed to be doing, but yet again isnt that the way most people are supposed to get hurt?...they're just innocents & then someone stabs them from behind......needless to say as far as we know we're all "Ok", but we're all pretty much sore & bruised, which is to be expected....The tahoe came out w/ hardly a scratch on it & a bent bumper...the other guy's truck...yea well it's not going anywhere for a while... weird fact: my seat belt NV caught until it hit the built in child safety latch... but after the wreck to calm us down a bit, we went & watched Big Momma's House 2...it was FUNNY!....i liked it better than the first one....that's exsactly what we needed....
All i know is i had some wild thoughts in that one single moment...and how do you tell someone...you're what i thought about, the only thing i cared about, what i gave up fighting back for & just let the crash wash over me?...w/o freakin them completely out?...you cant is the sad thing..... so here's to another needless thought....b/c i know b/c of certain situations, he'll nv let me be w/ him....so completely needless thought....
my dreams were plagued last night...all of a sudden 2 headlights would filter thru & WHAM...& the same scene would filter in my mind again....& start & end in the same places.... & everytime i kept tryin to scream...kept seeing this person dead over & over again..and i could nv bring myself to go to him..to make sure....just to scream & wake up & for him to be alright....but i nv could..... & i'd jerk awake & the pain would nearly make me almost pass right back out again.... but i was too scared too so i faught it...
Useless info:...ok well not useless to me...but to y'all maybe :P
In other news: The Expose shows are going relatively good.....the 2 a day on fridays are tiring...but ill get used to them & know how to swing them..friday was spent w/ justin in the van pulln the trailor & it was really as peaceful as that can get...no drama, no loud noises, no annoyin people...just i dunno.... it helped me to be calmer around the people im havin issues w/..plus it's always great when u can spend one on one time w/ one of ur best friends so that you can catch up on info that you wouldnt normally catch up on cause u dont want the whole world to know & also b/c you know the other will understand b/c they've been there or something like it before... & im not sorry, nor will i ever be sorry for being that kind of friend w/ him...so the ones who dont understand need to learn to cope w/ that fact
hmm...what else happened friday?...oh yea...I was standin up on stool to tie the backdrop curtains 2gether..& i gave Jill the sturdy stool & i took the wobbly one...& needless to say i was in my floor length dress climbin up & down doin this stuff....but Jim walks by & puts his hand up to steady me b/c i had let go of the pole to tie a shoestring around it...well when he touched me the static shocked me & i jerked...well when i did the stool wobbled & i lost my balance & i tried to grab the pipe but i couldnt catch my grip for some reason...& i thought i was going to fall..& a bunch of the guys were standin around just in case...so glad to know someone is worried bout me...haha but then after that i was runnin across the floor from bringin stuff from outside..& about the time i got near where justin was to sit it down b/c that's where it belonged..he tripped...& bumped me..& i was runnin & that caused me to kinda slide(dance shoes SUCK!)..& then i tried to regain my balance & slid on the hem on my dress & hit the floor...everyone was laughin cause it looked like i just got tired of runnin and sat down... so that kinda brought my mood back up from the accident before...i just shook my head & laughed & accepted his hand up... Mr lollis just shook his head & laughed & said i was determined to get hurt y-day & yea well...after the wreck happened....I guess he's right..
School is fine I guess...i took my first Soc. test the other day & waiting on that grade... but other than that it's k
All i know is i had some wild thoughts in that one single moment...and how do you tell someone...you're what i thought about, the only thing i cared about, what i gave up fighting back for & just let the crash wash over me?...w/o freakin them completely out?...you cant is the sad thing..... so here's to another needless thought....b/c i know b/c of certain situations, he'll nv let me be w/ him....so completely needless thought....
my dreams were plagued last night...all of a sudden 2 headlights would filter thru & WHAM...& the same scene would filter in my mind again....& start & end in the same places.... & everytime i kept tryin to scream...kept seeing this person dead over & over again..and i could nv bring myself to go to him..to make sure....just to scream & wake up & for him to be alright....but i nv could..... & i'd jerk awake & the pain would nearly make me almost pass right back out again.... but i was too scared too so i faught it...
Useless info:...ok well not useless to me...but to y'all maybe :P
In other news: The Expose shows are going relatively good.....the 2 a day on fridays are tiring...but ill get used to them & know how to swing them..friday was spent w/ justin in the van pulln the trailor & it was really as peaceful as that can get...no drama, no loud noises, no annoyin people...just i dunno.... it helped me to be calmer around the people im havin issues w/..plus it's always great when u can spend one on one time w/ one of ur best friends so that you can catch up on info that you wouldnt normally catch up on cause u dont want the whole world to know & also b/c you know the other will understand b/c they've been there or something like it before... & im not sorry, nor will i ever be sorry for being that kind of friend w/ him...so the ones who dont understand need to learn to cope w/ that fact
hmm...what else happened friday?...oh yea...I was standin up on stool to tie the backdrop curtains 2gether..& i gave Jill the sturdy stool & i took the wobbly one...& needless to say i was in my floor length dress climbin up & down doin this stuff....but Jim walks by & puts his hand up to steady me b/c i had let go of the pole to tie a shoestring around it...well when he touched me the static shocked me & i jerked...well when i did the stool wobbled & i lost my balance & i tried to grab the pipe but i couldnt catch my grip for some reason...& i thought i was going to fall..& a bunch of the guys were standin around just in case...so glad to know someone is worried bout me...haha but then after that i was runnin across the floor from bringin stuff from outside..& about the time i got near where justin was to sit it down b/c that's where it belonged..he tripped...& bumped me..& i was runnin & that caused me to kinda slide(dance shoes SUCK!)..& then i tried to regain my balance & slid on the hem on my dress & hit the floor...everyone was laughin cause it looked like i just got tired of runnin and sat down... so that kinda brought my mood back up from the accident before...i just shook my head & laughed & accepted his hand up... Mr lollis just shook his head & laughed & said i was determined to get hurt y-day & yea well...after the wreck happened....I guess he's right..
School is fine I guess...i took my first Soc. test the other day & waiting on that grade... but other than that it's k