(no subject)
I knew today is Monday, but I'd almost forgotten there were new episodes tonight. Fuck CBS' airing schedule, seriously.
This morning I dreamed I was watching an episode of Once Upon a Time, and there was this scheming genie in a lamp on the edge of a bean field talking about this Nick guy (played by Xander from Buffy) who some character IDEK maybe she was an orisha was dating, and then the IDEK rubbed the lamp and let the scheming genie out and they were both suddenly giants? And that's when it cut to commercial and I conveniently woke up. I can't help but feel like that would have been better than the last couple of Once eps.
HIMYM
NOOOOO, I'm not cool with Barney's life falling apart. Who the hell pays their caterer in cash? Of course the bachelor party is the one night Robin needs him. I hate how the first thing out of his mouth wasn't "Robin needs me". AUGH. JFC, Barney, I'M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW. I'm pleased Ted and Marshall arranged to avoid Barney's game of chance. Although naturally Ted and Marshall manage to completely fuck it up with their banality. I kind of love Barney's mom trying to explain sex. By the time Lily shows up, I'm sure Barney's starting to wish he was at supper instead. HOW IS RALPH MACCHIO BARNEY?! Are RM and NPH like the Coreys? I would totally believe that.
Quinn's going to burn down the hotel. That would be fucking awesome. Oh, wait, she's the sane one. Ted's blonde girlfriend was the crazy one. I really like Quinn's decision to strip for everyone except Barney. Sucks her life fell apart; I liked her. Where's Ranjit? Couldn't he have picked them up? NOOOOOO, BARNEY, NOT THE CATERING MONEY. FFS. Okay, Ralph Macchio is the annoying version of Barney. First season Barney, except a cartoon. Marshall's good collateral. Reliable, strong, hard working. "People of bright color"? <3 <3 <3 Quinn torpedoing everything was low. I AM NOT HAPPY THEY ARE BROKEN UP. OMG COLLUDING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Is this a play? Are they running a play on the playmaster? WAT I remain consoled by the wedding they've been showing all season and the happy Robin shots from the reception. I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP.
HOW MUCH DO I LOVE ROBIN KNOWING BARNEY SO WELL SHE CAN MAKE HIS BACHELOR PARTY LEGEN...DARY. OMG AND BARNEY'S MOM WAS IN ON IT TOO!!! THIS IS THE BEST SHOW I LOVE ALL THESE PEOPLE. And Barney's reaction is the most perfect of perfect. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 AND THE RIGHT KARATE KID!! MAZEL BRO!!!!!
EPISODE EPIC WIN!! EPICSODE!!!!
XXXXXX
2 Broke Girls
There has not been enough Kat on my TV (or my Tumblr dash, or on Twitter [does anyone know what the emergency she had to leave the IM3 premiere for was? I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT HER], or, you know, in my LIFE).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHESTNUT!! Even Max ships Maxnut. <3 Max and Chestnut have the best friendship. We need more scenes with the two of them having a conversation. Where do you find a farrier in Brooklyn? Because blacksmith ain't the same thing.
'kay, I love how Max is the one to take Chestnut to the blacksmith. Wow, hoof fungus. That's not a surprise; Caroline doesn't seem like the mucking type. Max still loves SVU - continuity! Aaaaaand of course Caroline's ego kills everything ever. How can she still have no clue almost two years later. I can totally see Oleg on Big Brother; I'd be surprised if he didn't win. I would watch Funk & Skank. I'm surprised Max hasn't done extra work before. It seems like there's a show shooting on every third block in New York. I don't feel good about this director, BTW, he seems way too into Caroline. I bet Max turns out to be the better actress.
Are Max and Caroline old enough to remember 90210? Hate the director. Hate the obviousness on the gunman. Even SVU has better acting than that. Sophie's entrance actually worked for me for once. I'm glad Max finally gets to try good sushi. The location scout is 100% AWESOME. Caroline can't even die well. Awesome. We're back to liking people with your penis. Is that a callback? Yep, hate the director. They seem like they're (the SVU crew) cranking through the scenes pretty quickly. Did the SVU director rehearse everyone except Max and Caroline? REHEARSAL IS A THING YOU DO EVEN FOR EXTRAS ON TV. I guess it's too boring for a sitcom. I just realized the cold open is directly related to the A plot. THAT IS HOW YOU STRUCTURE AN EPISODE.
CAROLINE KNOWS ENOUGH TO USE HER SELF-CENTERED TALKING TO BORE GUYS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH. Why is her self-awareness so intermittent? Haaaaaaaate the director. I can't fault Max's logic on the sleeping-with, for all it's a bad idea to begin with. I wonder if he doesn't hear Caroline's "no" because he's never heard no at all before. It's like it's not even conceivable in his universe.
Augh, hate this director. Is Max's welcome mat out for this asshole? Granted, Max is probably a better actress than Caroline, being less self-conscious and convinced of her superiority. GODDAMNIT, SOPHIE, WHY DID YOU FUCK MAX'S SHOT UP?! And why did the director fridge Max for Sophie's screw-up? OH FUCK HAN'S AWESOME. He's very subtly the best person on this show. I like that. And I love how he's forgiven Caroline for her bitchiness a couple eps ago. For no apparent reason. Family of choice. <3
Of course they're still $200 short for the shoes and vet. [sigh] Math, not the show's strong suit.
This morning I dreamed I was watching an episode of Once Upon a Time, and there was this scheming genie in a lamp on the edge of a bean field talking about this Nick guy (played by Xander from Buffy) who some character IDEK maybe she was an orisha was dating, and then the IDEK rubbed the lamp and let the scheming genie out and they were both suddenly giants? And that's when it cut to commercial and I conveniently woke up. I can't help but feel like that would have been better than the last couple of Once eps.
HIMYM
NOOOOO, I'm not cool with Barney's life falling apart. Who the hell pays their caterer in cash? Of course the bachelor party is the one night Robin needs him. I hate how the first thing out of his mouth wasn't "Robin needs me". AUGH. JFC, Barney, I'M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW. I'm pleased Ted and Marshall arranged to avoid Barney's game of chance. Although naturally Ted and Marshall manage to completely fuck it up with their banality. I kind of love Barney's mom trying to explain sex. By the time Lily shows up, I'm sure Barney's starting to wish he was at supper instead. HOW IS RALPH MACCHIO BARNEY?! Are RM and NPH like the Coreys? I would totally believe that.
Quinn's going to burn down the hotel. That would be fucking awesome. Oh, wait, she's the sane one. Ted's blonde girlfriend was the crazy one. I really like Quinn's decision to strip for everyone except Barney. Sucks her life fell apart; I liked her. Where's Ranjit? Couldn't he have picked them up? NOOOOOO, BARNEY, NOT THE CATERING MONEY. FFS. Okay, Ralph Macchio is the annoying version of Barney. First season Barney, except a cartoon. Marshall's good collateral. Reliable, strong, hard working. "People of bright color"? <3 <3 <3 Quinn torpedoing everything was low. I AM NOT HAPPY THEY ARE BROKEN UP. OMG COLLUDING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Is this a play? Are they running a play on the playmaster? WAT I remain consoled by the wedding they've been showing all season and the happy Robin shots from the reception. I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP.
HOW MUCH DO I LOVE ROBIN KNOWING BARNEY SO WELL SHE CAN MAKE HIS BACHELOR PARTY LEGEN...DARY. OMG AND BARNEY'S MOM WAS IN ON IT TOO!!! THIS IS THE BEST SHOW I LOVE ALL THESE PEOPLE. And Barney's reaction is the most perfect of perfect. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 AND THE RIGHT KARATE KID!! MAZEL BRO!!!!!
EPISODE EPIC WIN!! EPICSODE!!!!
XXXXXX
2 Broke Girls
There has not been enough Kat on my TV (or my Tumblr dash, or on Twitter [does anyone know what the emergency she had to leave the IM3 premiere for was? I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT HER], or, you know, in my LIFE).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHESTNUT!! Even Max ships Maxnut. <3 Max and Chestnut have the best friendship. We need more scenes with the two of them having a conversation. Where do you find a farrier in Brooklyn? Because blacksmith ain't the same thing.
'kay, I love how Max is the one to take Chestnut to the blacksmith. Wow, hoof fungus. That's not a surprise; Caroline doesn't seem like the mucking type. Max still loves SVU - continuity! Aaaaaand of course Caroline's ego kills everything ever. How can she still have no clue almost two years later. I can totally see Oleg on Big Brother; I'd be surprised if he didn't win. I would watch Funk & Skank. I'm surprised Max hasn't done extra work before. It seems like there's a show shooting on every third block in New York. I don't feel good about this director, BTW, he seems way too into Caroline. I bet Max turns out to be the better actress.
Are Max and Caroline old enough to remember 90210? Hate the director. Hate the obviousness on the gunman. Even SVU has better acting than that. Sophie's entrance actually worked for me for once. I'm glad Max finally gets to try good sushi. The location scout is 100% AWESOME. Caroline can't even die well. Awesome. We're back to liking people with your penis. Is that a callback? Yep, hate the director. They seem like they're (the SVU crew) cranking through the scenes pretty quickly. Did the SVU director rehearse everyone except Max and Caroline? REHEARSAL IS A THING YOU DO EVEN FOR EXTRAS ON TV. I guess it's too boring for a sitcom. I just realized the cold open is directly related to the A plot. THAT IS HOW YOU STRUCTURE AN EPISODE.
CAROLINE KNOWS ENOUGH TO USE HER SELF-CENTERED TALKING TO BORE GUYS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH. Why is her self-awareness so intermittent? Haaaaaaaate the director. I can't fault Max's logic on the sleeping-with, for all it's a bad idea to begin with. I wonder if he doesn't hear Caroline's "no" because he's never heard no at all before. It's like it's not even conceivable in his universe.
Augh, hate this director. Is Max's welcome mat out for this asshole? Granted, Max is probably a better actress than Caroline, being less self-conscious and convinced of her superiority. GODDAMNIT, SOPHIE, WHY DID YOU FUCK MAX'S SHOT UP?! And why did the director fridge Max for Sophie's screw-up? OH FUCK HAN'S AWESOME. He's very subtly the best person on this show. I like that. And I love how he's forgiven Caroline for her bitchiness a couple eps ago. For no apparent reason. Family of choice. <3
Of course they're still $200 short for the shoes and vet. [sigh] Math, not the show's strong suit.