its over..
she's dead.
i found out after i got to NC
i am now on suicide watch being forced to eat, all the sharp and pointies are hidden and valium is my new besty
i want to come home for the funeral but steven seems to think its best fro me to stay where pple who arent as affected can watch out for me full time.
i want to be the strong one for everyone..i want to watch out for him its what she would want
he seems to think he has to watch out for me..thats wat she would want..he always thinks that.
i dont know what to think anymore.
my remaining best friends barely talk to me anymore..i think it hurts but i dont even know anymore.
i just dont know anything.
i feel..so numb. i dont know wat to think.
i cant sleeop..im sitting here chain smoking with tears running down my face.
i have work tommorrow..i should sleep
it just wont come..
im trying so hard to pretend to be strong..pretend im doing ok.
but when everyones asleep and im left to my own thoughts..
i have to realize...
i dont know if ill be ok again....
i found out after i got to NC
i am now on suicide watch being forced to eat, all the sharp and pointies are hidden and valium is my new besty
i want to come home for the funeral but steven seems to think its best fro me to stay where pple who arent as affected can watch out for me full time.
i want to be the strong one for everyone..i want to watch out for him its what she would want
he seems to think he has to watch out for me..thats wat she would want..he always thinks that.
i dont know what to think anymore.
my remaining best friends barely talk to me anymore..i think it hurts but i dont even know anymore.
i just dont know anything.
i feel..so numb. i dont know wat to think.
i cant sleeop..im sitting here chain smoking with tears running down my face.
i have work tommorrow..i should sleep
it just wont come..
im trying so hard to pretend to be strong..pretend im doing ok.
but when everyones asleep and im left to my own thoughts..
i have to realize...
i dont know if ill be ok again....