i just want to make a clean escape, i'm leaving but i dont know where to
valentines days sucks.
for people like myself anyway.
i bought 4 new cds tonight. which i neeeever do anymore. bright eyes, incubus, lagwagon and kelly clarkson..yeah thats right. bring it.
pretty good shit. bright eyes owns.
so i'm not in classes anymore this semester and suddenly being an adult is becoming scarier. ive become so used to robotically going to classes coming home and going to work etc etc that it's strange to break out of that routine. i need to stabalize everything in my life right now tho. things that no one really understands i guess...well they might but they dont know. its hard for me to figure out my thoughts, so verbalizing them is out of the question right now. its hard to explain but i just try to sit back and look at myself from someone elses perspective and i see so many things that i want to better myself with. so i'm working on those things as best as i can right now. those who will understand me now and when ive worked through a lot of stuff and are still there the same as they always have been are people that i know will always be in my life. the whole saying about how you only really keep close and in contact with maybe 5 people you were friends with in high school is becoming harshly true. its life and i'm accepting it shockingly.
i love my friends and i hope they know this. just because i'm not around every second like i used to be doesn't mean that i'm home shooting heroin or prostituting myself. i used to literally drive myself crazy when i sat at home with nothing to do or with no one around. i used to be out around people and hanging out with friends 24-7 and if i wasn't i didn't know what to do with myself at all. and right now i'm breaking out of it that subconsiously and purposely i guess. none of this is probably making much sense buuuut i do what i can haha. well i think i've analyzed myself enough for the evening.
matchbook romance and hawthorne heights concert...march 4th in philly. anyone wanna go with? it'll be fuuuuun.
.i miss dolan.
.i miss matty.
.i miss nittles.
.i miss kater.
.i miss you.
tell me i'm wrong when I say
i can't expect you to stay forever with me
i live for that single moment
i take back everything i've said
you wore those words on your lips
as if they meant anything anyway
sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth
it seems I do more harm than good
and I don't know if it's worth me loosing sleep over this
for people like myself anyway.
i bought 4 new cds tonight. which i neeeever do anymore. bright eyes, incubus, lagwagon and kelly clarkson..yeah thats right. bring it.
pretty good shit. bright eyes owns.
so i'm not in classes anymore this semester and suddenly being an adult is becoming scarier. ive become so used to robotically going to classes coming home and going to work etc etc that it's strange to break out of that routine. i need to stabalize everything in my life right now tho. things that no one really understands i guess...well they might but they dont know. its hard for me to figure out my thoughts, so verbalizing them is out of the question right now. its hard to explain but i just try to sit back and look at myself from someone elses perspective and i see so many things that i want to better myself with. so i'm working on those things as best as i can right now. those who will understand me now and when ive worked through a lot of stuff and are still there the same as they always have been are people that i know will always be in my life. the whole saying about how you only really keep close and in contact with maybe 5 people you were friends with in high school is becoming harshly true. its life and i'm accepting it shockingly.
i love my friends and i hope they know this. just because i'm not around every second like i used to be doesn't mean that i'm home shooting heroin or prostituting myself. i used to literally drive myself crazy when i sat at home with nothing to do or with no one around. i used to be out around people and hanging out with friends 24-7 and if i wasn't i didn't know what to do with myself at all. and right now i'm breaking out of it that subconsiously and purposely i guess. none of this is probably making much sense buuuut i do what i can haha. well i think i've analyzed myself enough for the evening.
matchbook romance and hawthorne heights concert...march 4th in philly. anyone wanna go with? it'll be fuuuuun.
.i miss dolan.
.i miss matty.
.i miss nittles.
.i miss kater.
.i miss you.
tell me i'm wrong when I say
i can't expect you to stay forever with me
i live for that single moment
i take back everything i've said
you wore those words on your lips
as if they meant anything anyway
sometimes I feel I could drop off the face of the earth
it seems I do more harm than good
and I don't know if it's worth me loosing sleep over this