Let Me Fall
I figured it was probably time to start updating again, since I haven't done so since May, and as for the title of this entry, it's from a song in Quidam.
Let Me Fall
from Quidam
Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dream must collide
Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me
So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them
All I ask
All I need
Let me open whichever
Door I might open
Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise
I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains
Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me
So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear
Let me fall
If I fall
There's no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall
I guess when it really comes down to it, I haven't been updating because I really just didn't want to put anything down in writing. If I put it in writing then it would be a constant reminder of not only the good things but the bad as well. As you can probably tell (since I'm typing now) I've decided to pretty much just suck it up and deal with it. Life sucks. Get over it.
The past couple of weeks have been pretty sad if nothing else. Almost all of the people that I actually enjoy spending my free time with have gone back to college. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel like I'm alone now. Other than my sophomore fan club, Josh, and maybe Travis, I don't really have anyone left to hang out with. Jen is always off making out with Chris, Aly is always busy with Vanessa, CJ is a jerk, and Callie always feels the need to invite CJ to everything which really makes me not want to be around her. There just aren't very many people that I feel comfortable with now, now that the college kids are gone.
To top all of that off, Doug (my step-dad for those who don't know) had open heart surgery and was in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. He's home now, but it's all just so stressful. Then I found out this past friday that MY dad had a big chunk of melanoma removed from his back as well as having several lymph nodes removed from under his left arm. He has at least two more surgeries to go plus chemo. It just hasn't been a very good two weeks. *sigh* I just really need a pick me up. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Hello
by Evanescence
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
This song has just really fit my mood the past few days, and I wanted to post the lyrics. If anyone is reading this, maybe I'll see you soon.
Let Me Fall
from Quidam
Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dream must collide
Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me
So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them
All I ask
All I need
Let me open whichever
Door I might open
Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise
I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains
Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me
So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear
Let me fall
If I fall
There's no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall
I guess when it really comes down to it, I haven't been updating because I really just didn't want to put anything down in writing. If I put it in writing then it would be a constant reminder of not only the good things but the bad as well. As you can probably tell (since I'm typing now) I've decided to pretty much just suck it up and deal with it. Life sucks. Get over it.
The past couple of weeks have been pretty sad if nothing else. Almost all of the people that I actually enjoy spending my free time with have gone back to college. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel like I'm alone now. Other than my sophomore fan club, Josh, and maybe Travis, I don't really have anyone left to hang out with. Jen is always off making out with Chris, Aly is always busy with Vanessa, CJ is a jerk, and Callie always feels the need to invite CJ to everything which really makes me not want to be around her. There just aren't very many people that I feel comfortable with now, now that the college kids are gone.
To top all of that off, Doug (my step-dad for those who don't know) had open heart surgery and was in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. He's home now, but it's all just so stressful. Then I found out this past friday that MY dad had a big chunk of melanoma removed from his back as well as having several lymph nodes removed from under his left arm. He has at least two more surgeries to go plus chemo. It just hasn't been a very good two weeks. *sigh* I just really need a pick me up. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Hello
by Evanescence
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
This song has just really fit my mood the past few days, and I wanted to post the lyrics. If anyone is reading this, maybe I'll see you soon.