take my hand baby
well..
its been quite the week...
saturday was awesome..we'll start with the little party at josh's house....even tho josh wasnt home and it was his mom that invited me.lol.
anyways, im gonna talk to mom about hosting party..hosting a party means jewelry =D
so i got home...and waited around for mike to get there. i was crazy nervous, which is weird bc i dont usually get nervous like that.
seriously, i was so nervous i couldnt eat. and hes gonna read this and laugh at me..*rolls eyes*
so he comes. looking adorable hehehe 0:-) and i had to bring him in so he could meet mom and dad.
ahhhhhhhh i hate that part! cuz dad gets this thing about him. he acts all big and mean and scary "cuz i gotta let him know youre my daughter and ill kill him if you want me to" aw my daddy is a sweet man. but the whole "these are my parents" thing didnt go too bad
so we left...on our way out. im not gonna get into detail bc itll probably be extremely boring to all of you....ill save that for the private entry =D
however, i will tell you that we went to see saw 2. it was crazy bloody...and scary at the moment. now that i look back. its not scary. and ive already told ben and josh that were having a movie night at my house..saw 1 & 2
then we went back to my house...hehe and hung out
i really like this kid. im sure esther knows by now. just talking about him puts the biggest smile on my face. and hes so sweet
but im not gonna make you guys sick...
school is lame..ultra lame. and consumer math blows. i hate that class!! it makes me feel so dumb. but so pissed at the same time.honestly, why the freak do i care about how to handle stocks and bonds and how to do my taxes?! THATS WHY PEOPLE GO TO COLLEGE AND LEARN HOW TO HANDLE STOCKS! BECAUSE THEY WANT TO! guess what. i dont want to. if i want to buy a stock. ill call someone. and when tax time comes in april. ill call the same guy my parents call to do their taxes. and why is that you might ask? BECAUSE ITS HIS JOBBBBB i want to teach. i dont want to do taxes.
yesterday was the worst day. i havent got a friggen clue whats going on in that class. and what i want to do with my life. im sure this is what every other senior's journal looks like around this time. but idk what i want to do. do i actually want to teach? what school do i want to go to. i know i cant leave. im not able to move away from home. away from my parents and my brother and sister. i cant. i cant not see my dog every day. seriously. i cant make it on my own yet. im not old enough. but i am old enough to realize and admit that. when i got home yesterday i just cried and cried for like 2 hours straight. about all of that stuff above..thank god mom was there to listen..wow that sounds lame. but idk what id do without her. i was freaking out. like what are they gonna say when graduation comes? "well bernadette got sucky grades all thru highschool...she hardly got by. and now she has no clue what she wants to do or where she wants to go. so she is gonna live at home bc she cant make it on her own. congrats bernadette. you graduated." then im gonna leave? is that it?!?!?! ahh its so frustrating i could scream...again. trust me i already have
i should stop this before i get too worked up. and mike is gonna call soon..........so you know what that meansss =]
later loves
=* xo