Its All In Your Goodbyes....
I feel like i belong. for once in my life i feel like i have a purpose. this is great. I am truly happy. Ive been waiting since my stepdad died to find my purpose. When i lost him i felt like nothing. and the way my mom treated me growin up without him or my real dad didnt lead me in the right direction. i was a reject. resorting to drugs and alcohol to cure my pain. suicide and cutting to cure my broken hearts. my friends back home are everything to me. they are my real life. my bro, sis, nephews, james and his family...thats my life...fayetteville is my life. but im gone from there...and to most people i am just a memory. i finally get to come back home since may, and i really cant wait. i miss home so much. i miss sitting on my front porch smokin a cigarette...lookin out to bobbies house. chillin in the den, playin some music and fucking around. the whole crew there...kylee, bri bri, bobbie, matt m, jay, mike, steve, athina, and dustin. my bestest friend in the world kelli, i didnt get to see her much when i got home, and i havent really talked to her that much since i left...but i love her so much...i shared everything with her...late nite phone conversations...ahhh...they were great...kylee, goin over to her house and just chillin with her and her mom...that my family away from the house...elena, stressin out over her over every little thing...late nite arguments tryin to get her to talk to me...it sucked...but she got me through my toughest situations...especially basic training...bri bri, my baby girl...i still remember the first day i met her...she was with athina and they were walkin down the street and i was walkin with dwight n sadie...we just went back to the house and chilled...ive watched her grow up so much...from 13 to 16...years just flashin by...athina...my first true love and heart breaker...she knows more about me then anybody...and we just joke about our past relationships...i love her to death...my bro, the evil twin...so confused, so fucked up, such a loser...but he kicks ass...he is my best friend in the world...i miss him more then anyone...my other half...i get to come home again...and be apart of that life for a glimpse of 15 days...but those 15 days will be the best 15 days of my life. coming home for christmas last year, then havin to go back and again in april and having to leave for here....hurt so bad. i did not wanna go...i didnt wanna leave my life behind...but i had to...my sacrifice to better my life...this time, will be my best trip home...but it wont be that hard to leave...ima miss that place so much...and i have no clue when ill be comin back...but i have something here to come back too...i have christina...my love, she is my life here..her and her family, they are my family here...her mom, her sis amanda,her bro dustin, her stepdad duane, the best people in the world...and i love them all...such a fun place to be at...i wish i had a family like that growin up, this is what ive been waiting for my whole life, my cure to my 5 years of pain. a person that actually loves me, a family that accepts me, i am complete. i have a career, and i have a family...ive got what i want...and im happy. im fighting to the death to keep it.
Matt
Veritas
Matt
Veritas