Nervous breakdown
I swear, if one more thing goes wrong I'm going to slap myself in the face with a 50 ton boulder.
My car is dead and would cost ATLEAST 3,000$ to fix it. I thought I had the solution to this problem. I was going to take my dads car and make a 450$ payment once a month. Well, I went into work to check my schedule only to find out that I'm not on it. So, I ask my manager about it and she took me outside. Right then I knew something was wrong, she basically told me that my performance wasn't of the best standards. Apparently people have been complaining and talking shit about me because I called in sick twice in one week because I had fucking pnuemonia and spent 7 hours in the ER on friday. Now she didnt fire me but she may as well have because I am now on probation and get only one day a week to work. Not only do I have that car payment to make but a $1,000 hospital bill to pay because I have no insurance, I'm bewildered. I feel like everything that was going to so great in my life is now in total disarray. I mean, I had a job, my own money, a new boyfriend, friends (can you believe it?), my dad moved back into town, life was peachy. Now everything is a downward spiral, My aunt is really sick and was in ICU for about two weeks, my car is gone, my job is gone, I need this car but I cant have it because I dont have any money to pay for it. I don't even want to face anyone at work because now I truly know how they feel about me. I mean, I should have known, all the mexicans would laugh and talk shit about me in spanish. I wish I could cry but I can't, I wish I could disappear but I won't. Happy mother fucking birthday to me. I don't want to grow up, I don't want to deal with life anymore, I just want to crawl into a fucking hole and live there. What's so great about this place anyway? I have to work at 5 today and I'm dreading every minute of it but I will go in smiling and full of false pride because thats what life is. You don't have to comment on this, I just needed to rant onto something.
My car is dead and would cost ATLEAST 3,000$ to fix it. I thought I had the solution to this problem. I was going to take my dads car and make a 450$ payment once a month. Well, I went into work to check my schedule only to find out that I'm not on it. So, I ask my manager about it and she took me outside. Right then I knew something was wrong, she basically told me that my performance wasn't of the best standards. Apparently people have been complaining and talking shit about me because I called in sick twice in one week because I had fucking pnuemonia and spent 7 hours in the ER on friday. Now she didnt fire me but she may as well have because I am now on probation and get only one day a week to work. Not only do I have that car payment to make but a $1,000 hospital bill to pay because I have no insurance, I'm bewildered. I feel like everything that was going to so great in my life is now in total disarray. I mean, I had a job, my own money, a new boyfriend, friends (can you believe it?), my dad moved back into town, life was peachy. Now everything is a downward spiral, My aunt is really sick and was in ICU for about two weeks, my car is gone, my job is gone, I need this car but I cant have it because I dont have any money to pay for it. I don't even want to face anyone at work because now I truly know how they feel about me. I mean, I should have known, all the mexicans would laugh and talk shit about me in spanish. I wish I could cry but I can't, I wish I could disappear but I won't. Happy mother fucking birthday to me. I don't want to grow up, I don't want to deal with life anymore, I just want to crawl into a fucking hole and live there. What's so great about this place anyway? I have to work at 5 today and I'm dreading every minute of it but I will go in smiling and full of false pride because thats what life is. You don't have to comment on this, I just needed to rant onto something.