Journal Entry: August 27, 2000 - PRIVATE TO SELF, PRIVATE TO HERMIONE, PRIVATE TO DRACO
[PRIVATE TO SELF]
He's not here. I woke up this morning and he was gone. At least he left that blasted cat of his, so I know he hasn't run off to another country this time. But, he slept in his own room last night. It was just...I didn't sleep hardly at all. It was just...off. I'm used to him being here and...I probably shouldn't be.
I couldn't do it. Couldn't go after him and definitely couldn't do...what he wanted me to. He just doesn't get it and I thought he did. Assuming shit again. When will I learn that doing that always gets me in trouble? I just didn't expect...he'd never said anything before and I thought he knew that the things...we've done, those were enough of a stretch for me. Gods, it's still mental for me to think I actually like snogging the prat. And now he just expects me to be ok with...Merlin, I can't even write it.
I just want to obliviate yesterday from my mind. That stupid Ball and Hermione crying and this thing with Draco.
I want a cigarette and he's not here and I'm tired and we have that bloody Exhibition match today.
[/PRIVATE]
[PRIVATE TO HERMIONE]
What happened yesterday?
I'm worried about you.
I really need ot talk to you. I think I...what, Potter? You screwed things up with your boyfriend? Merlin, I hate my life.
How are you?
[/PRIVATE]
[PRIVATE TO DRACO]
Where are you?
We should probably talk about last night. Right? Merlin, I really don't want to talk about it.
I'll meet you at the Match?
-H
I'm sorry...about last night.
[/Private]
He's not here. I woke up this morning and he was gone. At least he left that blasted cat of his, so I know he hasn't run off to another country this time. But, he slept in his own room last night. It was just...I didn't sleep hardly at all. It was just...off. I'm used to him being here and...I probably shouldn't be.
I couldn't do it. Couldn't go after him and definitely couldn't do...what he wanted me to. He just doesn't get it and I thought he did. Assuming shit again. When will I learn that doing that always gets me in trouble? I just didn't expect...he'd never said anything before and I thought he knew that the things...we've done, those were enough of a stretch for me. Gods, it's still mental for me to think I actually like snogging the prat. And now he just expects me to be ok with...Merlin, I can't even write it.
I just want to obliviate yesterday from my mind. That stupid Ball and Hermione crying and this thing with Draco.
I want a cigarette and he's not here and I'm tired and we have that bloody Exhibition match today.
[/PRIVATE]
[PRIVATE TO HERMIONE]
What happened yesterday?
I'm worried about you.
I really need ot talk to you. I think I...what, Potter? You screwed things up with your boyfriend? Merlin, I hate my life.
How are you?
[/PRIVATE]
[PRIVATE TO DRACO]
Where are you?
We should probably talk about last night. Right? Merlin, I really don't want to talk about it.
I'll meet you at the Match?
-H
I'm sorry...about last night.
[/Private]