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is there anyone out there who knows who i am? i feel as though i have dissapeared. i am in the middle of nowhere and most of the people here are my age but none of them will look at me and if they do it is with contempt. i will come home in two months for a week during which i will be too busy to see anyone but i don't think i'll know how to see
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i am a bit miffed, because you told me your parents made you go, and that you would have rather been home for the summer... and would have rather gone on a roadtrip...but that's selfish of me.... because it's just that i love you, and i truly feel accounted for, feel at home around you.
aside from horrifically selfish motives, and how much i miss you, i know that you are not useless, and you are beyond capable of tackling this situation.
you are there, it is a challenge, and you are more than well equipped (and hung, achem *cough*).
you decided to take this on, because you need this as the intermediary step, because you wanted some time to be secluded and write away, and you will take advantage of it, and make beautiful things out of it, because that is what you do, with everything that comes your way.
you are some kind of exquisite sieve, rough, unseeded life passes through you, and you filter out the eloquence and the profound, and sometimes you stitch it into people's hearts, sometimes slip it into the corners of people's eyes, and sometimes you spit it in their faces... (only when they need the shock, though!).
those silly kids will come around, i am sometimes intimidated by you, thinking you are too beautiful, too intense for me... that i do not deserve to be near you...they will come around...for you are too great an opportunity, too great a mind and soul, not to tap.
i love you, and haven't for a moment stop thinking about you.
i am proud of you, and even though i miss you, i really just want you to know that....that i am so very proud and in awe of you.
love,
szg
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