i figured it out
Sometimes when I'm around people at work and people I think are friends
It's like I'm watching from the sidelines
I'm at this place in my life
Where I can't remember when I was this happy
And I can't remember when I'v smiled this much
Yet the tears are right there
Waiting for me to cry and scream at the top of my lungs
When everythings seems to be going so right
and I seem to finally be headed in the right direction
everything collapses at the middle of the bridge
Unable to make it across to make anything complete
So what's so imcomplete you might ask
Lets see where to start
I f^cked myself into the ground
I'm horible with money and it's finally smacking me in the face
My credit is so bad I can't even get aproved for a loan my DAD co-signs for
I want to fix things so bad
And I want to make things better
But I dug myself so deap I can't
Next thing right
My heart is screaming at me
It beats twice as fast
and sends chills down my spine
My tummy is filled with butterflies
And he makes me SOO happy
So what's wrong.. Well two things actually
First: I'm so scared!
I want with everything to just let myself be happy
And let myself feel what I know is right there waiting to be felt
But it's like I'm stuck at this barrier of fear
That makes me think so negative about everything
Second: I want with everything to be with him
To be next to him having him hold me
To feel his lips on mine
To feel his hand holding mine
He's so close yet so far away
I'v fallen so deep
But I'm so scared this money thing is going to take every hope i have away
*cries*
It's like I'm watching from the sidelines
I'm at this place in my life
Where I can't remember when I was this happy
And I can't remember when I'v smiled this much
Yet the tears are right there
Waiting for me to cry and scream at the top of my lungs
When everythings seems to be going so right
and I seem to finally be headed in the right direction
everything collapses at the middle of the bridge
Unable to make it across to make anything complete
So what's so imcomplete you might ask
Lets see where to start
I f^cked myself into the ground
I'm horible with money and it's finally smacking me in the face
My credit is so bad I can't even get aproved for a loan my DAD co-signs for
I want to fix things so bad
And I want to make things better
But I dug myself so deap I can't
Next thing right
My heart is screaming at me
It beats twice as fast
and sends chills down my spine
My tummy is filled with butterflies
And he makes me SOO happy
So what's wrong.. Well two things actually
First: I'm so scared!
I want with everything to just let myself be happy
And let myself feel what I know is right there waiting to be felt
But it's like I'm stuck at this barrier of fear
That makes me think so negative about everything
Second: I want with everything to be with him
To be next to him having him hold me
To feel his lips on mine
To feel his hand holding mine
He's so close yet so far away
I'v fallen so deep
But I'm so scared this money thing is going to take every hope i have away
*cries*