thinking

Jan 05, 2006 02:04

i'v been doing a lot of thinking lately
which isn't usually a good thing

i'v gotten so caught up in this world
that i don't even recognize as my own anymore
i dont trust anyone, and i dont want to
i dont believe in anything
and yet. i want something to believe in
i try so hard for people to accept me
yet i'm not even sure that i accept myself
i get attention from guys
when i'm half nekki or showing off my assets
yet that's not the women i am
nor the women that i want to be
pictures speak 1,000 words
mine could tell you pages of stories
but only if you ask
but does anyone care enough to know?
does anyone care enough to want to?
i feel so alone in a world filled with so many people
i find good in everyone
even if they are using me
because i'm stupid enough to believe
that maybe.. just once.. it might be real
yet it never is
i shouldn't care what people think
i shouldn't let it bother me so much
and i shouldn't feel sorry for myself
but i'v never been very good at believing in myself
and sometimes i wonder.
why should i?
does anyone believe in me
not my family
i dont even know who my true friends are anymore
so really how could they believe too?

for every tear i cry
for every thought i think
for every drop of blood i bled

in the end i am alone
more alone with millions around me
then when sittin in the corner of my room

float me out to sea
at least them
no one can see right through me
because there will be no one there
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