Fic: Light the Length of August (Supernatural) 10/?
Title: Light the Length of August - Chapter 10: Gaining Ground
Fandom: Supernatural
Character(s): Sam, Cas, Dean
Pairing(s): Gen
Word Count: 5452
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it’s not mine. If you don’t recognize it, it still might not be mine. Any recognizable places or people have been fictionalized. I am not blind. I do not have any immediate acquaintances that are blind. Any mistakes on that front are entirely my own. If you spot an error, let me know. Research can only take me so far.
Summary: Sam thinks of himself as an intelligent guy. He knows life isn’t usually fair. He knows the job they do is dangerous. He knows for them there are no guarantees or ironclad promises. He also knows that time is running out to find his possibly demonic brother and help Cas. He doesn’t have time for another sucker punch from whatever higher power likes toying with him. He still wakes up in the hospital alone and blind.
Sam found himself making his way down the sidewalk in the pre-dawn light to meet Helen for their last session. It was an odd mix of diffused light from the encroaching sunrise and the glow from streetlights that hadn’t quite shut off yet. He was keeping careful count of every intersection until he found the one that he was looking for. Even as he crossed the street, he could smell the alluring scent of rich, freshly roasted coffee. He made his way up the three steps and through the door. A small bell tinkled overhead as he stepped into the shop, and the delicious smell of baking treats filled his nose.
“Sam!” Helen’s voice called from further back inside the restaurant. “We’re back here. Fifth booth in. There’s three tables between you and the wall.”
Sam navigated around the tables and over to the row of booths. He let his hand skim the backs of the seats, counting as he passed tables. As he drew even with the fifth, he paused and asked, “Is that a royal we?”
“No,” Rob said from Sam’s left. “It’s a team breakfast. It’s about time too. Helen wouldn’t let me order until you got here.”
Sam frowned and slid into the booth next to Rob. “I thought you had another session in the mornings. How’d you get roped into this?”
“First of all, it’s still early. Second, I’m getting a new resident today. They won’t check in until mid-morning so I won’t see them until this afternoon.”
“So no session today?”
Helen laughed across from him. “Don’t worry, Sam. We’ve got plenty planned for you.”
“You know, I’m a little worried that you’re both in on whatever this is.”
Before Helen could answer, someone walked up to the side of the table. A chipper, young waitress introduced herself and rattled off the special for the morning so fast Sam could barely keep up. They all placed their orders and in no time, there was a steaming cup of morning coffee in front of Sam. He took a grateful sip off of it, not caring if it burnt his tongue.
Helen and Rob chatted as Sam felt himself becoming more human. By the time his plate of eggs arrived, he felt like he was awake enough to ask, “So what’s all this about?”
Rob swallowed his own mouthful. “You told me you went to college for a while, right?” He said it as though that explained everything.
“Yes.” Sam wasn’t entirely sure what that had to do with anything. Was college supposed to make him psychic? He winced at the thought. That wasn’t an experience he wanted to revisit anytime soon.
“Well, think of today like your final exam. Don’t worry, this isn’t the kind of exam you can really fail. You’re going to have to problem solve on your own.”
“If you got me up at five in the morning just to be cryptic, I’m going back to bed.”
“Relax. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to like it.”
Sam sighed. “I’m going to hate every second of this, aren’t I?”
“Come on, Sam,” Rob said. “It’s a rite of passage here at Brookhaven. I had to do the same thing. Well, not the exact same thing, but everyone does a solo challenge during their last week.”
“What exactly am I doing?”
Helen leaned toward him over the table. “You’re first instruction is to meet Daniel Johnson over at the hardware shop. He’ll explain the next step to you.”
“I didn’t even know there was a hardware store here. Where is it?”
“Down on Maple. And that’s all we can tell you.”
Sam grumbled as he finished his eggs and coffee, but waved good-naturedly when Helen and Rob both left to get back to the center. He took the last few sips of his coffee, dug a tip out of his wallet, and headed outside to start Helen’s scavenger hunt.
As he stepped outside, he took a deep breath. It was going to be hot and humid today, but for now, it just smelled alive and green. It might not be so bad of a day for a bit of a challenge. Sam struck out to the right. He knew Maple was three streets over.
The shop itself was just around the corner from him according to a helpful passerby. He found the large pull handle and entered. The inside was surprisingly bright and smelled like leather and oil and something metallic. It was comfortingly familiar. He didn’t really spend much time in places like this, but something about it reminded him of Bobby’s house.
“Hi there,” a rich voice called. It was older, almost frail sounding. “What can I do you for?”
Sam smiled and took a few step towards the voice. “My name is Sam. Helen sent me and told me to find Daniel?”
“Ah, that would be me. So you’re the kid they’ve got going up the mountain today. I hope you wore your hiking shoes.”
Sam was internally panicking. He was going hiking? He knew next to nothing about actually doing anything in the woods. The only time he did much of anything was for a hunt and he almost always had a map and a gun with him. “I guess?”
“I’m supposed to outfit you with a bag and some general supplies. Also, Helen said you’d need a cooler bag for dinner tonight.”
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course she did. What exactly did she say?”
“Here,” he said. “She left you a note.”
Sam took the proffered papers and spread them out on the glass top counter between them. He ran a slow finger over the Brailled message. He was getting better, but he was still slow to pick out the shapes, especially in longer words where he had to hold all the letters in his head. It meant his reading speed was infuriatingly slow still.
Sam,
Welcome to your final challenge. Today is your day to go out into the big bad world and prove what you can do. The itinerary might seem a bit thin, but trust me it’s going to be a big day. Kevin mentioned that you miss getting outside so today you’re going to be tackling the upper trail in Crevice Falls Park. How you get there is up to you, but it’s approximately an 8 mile hike from the trailhead to the campground where you’re going to be setting up for the evening. There’s only one split in the path. Keep to your left when you find it.
Last but not least, you’re going to be hosting a campfire dinner for five tonight. If I can offer a word of advice - keep it simple. Rob’s bringing the beer.
Trust Daniel and don’t forget to pack a lunch! We’ll be seeing you around six tonight.
Your faithful drill sergeant,
Helen
Sam groaned and skimmed back over the note. A dinner for five over a campfire? The last time he had cooked in an open flame he’d been eleven and their dad had been teaching them how to forage for food. Sam sighed. He was going to have to go to the grocery. He didn’t hold out much hope of doing better than hotdogs, honestly.
“I take it, it’s not good news then?” Daniel asked.
“No, it’s fine. Helen just like to keep me on my toes. I don’t suppose you could direct me to a grocery store after this?”
“Sure, there’s one just around the corner. Let me get you set up here and then I’ll let Frankie know you’re coming. He can have one of his boys meet you and help you out.”
Sam nodded. “Thanks.”
Sam left the little hardware store with a hiking backpack that held a cooler with an icepack that Daniel swore would keep until well after sundown tonight, sunscreen, bug spray, and the biggest water bottle Sam had ever held before. He’d originally protested, but Daniel had been adamant about the importance of taking enough water especially this time of year. Sam had bowed to his wisdom and walked out sure he looked like the biggest dork in the world.
His next stop was the grocery. He spent a good fifteen minutes debating what he could handle cooking, but he just kept coming back to the memory of John grinning as they ate a meal they had put together out of nothing and how sweet the berries they’d gathered for dessert had tasted.
In the end he decided that if it had been good enough for John Winchester, it would be good enough for the team that had put him up to this on such short notice. The store stocker that was helping him was obviously nervous, but was patient with him as he gathered all the ingredients, ran back for the lunch he’d nearly forgotten to pack, and then remembered he needed aluminum foil and plates.
By the time he finally set off for the park entrance, Sam was already tired. Armed with directions from Daniel on how to get onto the correct trail and Helen’s cryptic instructions, he managed to find the trailhead as the sun was starting to get overhead.
The path itself was wide and mostly unlittered. Here and there he found small ruts where rain water must have cut a channel downhill in some of the steeper areas, but for the most part, it was smooth.
Sam stumbled over a low root he had missed in his sweep and muttered a curse. The path was sloping upwards steeply and he was having to push himself to get up it. It was the most real exercise he had done at once since his stay in the hospital, and he was feeling the lack now. His legs were tired and he was starting to feel a little winded from the constant upward trek.
His morning had been overcast, so it had stayed relatively cool, but now he kept walking through patches of hot sunlight between the overhanging trees. It was only kept from being unbearable by the soft breeze that was sweeping down the hill and cooling him.
It was a nice walk. Aside from being a little out of shape, he was relishing the chance to be outside again. He had spent so much time in the center working on getting back some measure of his independence that he hadn’t taken the time to get out and just breathe aside from the few times he’d gone as part of his training.
Sam felt the ground beneath his feet start to level. His cane found something off to the side of the path and a quick exploration revealed a bench that had been constructed from a roughhewn log. He sat. The bench had probably been designed to afford a view of the lookout, but Sam was just grateful for a chance to rest for a moment.
He pulled his bag off his shoulders. It was sturdy and padded on the back, the kind of bag actual hikers used for real hikes. His gigantic water bottle was tucked into a mesh side pocket. He pulled it out and took a drink. He didn’t know how long he would be walking or if he would have access to more at the campsite he was heading to, so he only drank a little before he capped the bottle and leaned back listening.
The birds were calling back and forth overhead. Further back in the woods something skittered, and a branch broke. The wind brushed through the leaves overhead making a soft rustle and off a ways he could even hear the quiet running of water. The scent of pine and dry leaves undercut everything.
He enjoyed the world around him for another moment then pushed himself to his feet. As much as he would enjoy sitting in nature for the rest of his afternoon, he knew anything Helen and Rob had conspired on would have at least a few surprises, and he wanted to get to bed before midnight tonight.
He followed the path, exploring the edges with his cane. As he got a little further down, he started to hear the rushing roar of fast moving water. He listened harder, trying to decide if it was an area of rapids on the river that he knew snaked a little ways below him or if it was a waterfall ahead. He was so focused on the noise that he didn’t register the change in the surface under his feet until he stepped and the ground was further away than he expected. Sam lost his balance as it undulated beneath his foot.
He jerked his weight back onto his other leg, barely staying upright. He took a few steps back and explored the immediate area with his cane. The dirt path led up to a wooden platform that then gave way to some sort of springy path. It felt like it was made up of boards lashed together. When he swept too wide, the tip of his cane got caught in something to his right that he had to extricate it from. It was a net of some sort made out of heavy duty cable. Further exploration showed him that a rope handrail had been strung at about waist height.
He backtracked thinking he might have missed the proper trail branch but there was nothing obvious within a reasonable distance. If he went much further to the left or right of the platform, he found only a steep drop off.
He stepped forward, testing his weight. The shift of the boards under his feet was still disconcerting. Hundreds of people probably crossed the bridge every year. He was in a major park and the area was fully accessible.
He gave up trying to navigate with his cane and instead gripped the rope guide on either side, checking his step carefully with his foot as he went. For once he was glad he couldn’t see. The long drop down must have been steep, and while he wasn’t afraid of heights by any means, he knew the distance would make his stomach swoop. He couldn’t hear anything up this high except the wind and the rushing water of the falls off to his right.
At one point he lost his footing and he had to brace himself with his arms as the bridge bounced up and down enough to make him feel slightly seasick. When his foot finally landed on solid ground, he nearly collapsed with relief. He took five minutes to breathe like Kevin had shown him and get his heart rate back under control. He wasn’t sure if he felt exhilarated or terrified. Mostly he just wanted to never do that again.
When he felt measurably calmer he shook out his cane and struck forward. The path here was gentle and he felt like he had earned the reprieve. His steps took on a new confidence. He had just crossed a rope bridge by himself. He hadn’t panicked and he hadn’t turned back. He’d made his way across steadily, if not gracefully.
A few more minutes lead him to a fork in the path. He took the left path as he’d been instructed. He had only walked for maybe ten minutes when he realized he was coming up on something large directly ahead. The shade of it was a relief from the harsh sunlight. The broad surface seemed to bounce sounds back at him oddly. He checked to make sure he was still on the path then made his way forward to explore what was blocking the way.
As he reached out, a voice called from behind him. “Hey!”
Sam jerked. He hadn’t realized he wasn’t alone. He dropped his hand and turned back to face the person who had snuck up on him. “Hello?”
“You Sam?”
“Yeah.”
The man grunted. There was something spicy about him, like ginger and pepper. “I’m Gary. Rob told me you’d be coming through today. You ready?”
“Ready for what?”
“Well, you’ve got to get to the top somehow, right?”
“Wait,” Sam said. “Top of what?”
“What exactly did they tell you?”
“Just that I was going to be hiking solo. Is this the end of the trail?”
The guy snorted. “Nah, you’re about two thirds to the end of the trail. No, there’s a long switchback that’ll take you to the top of the bluff or you can go the short way and climb up. There’s a dedicated entry point here for the climb.”
“Wait, climb? Like rock climbing?”
“Unless you want to climb a tree.”
“I…okay,” Sam said. He’d come this far after all.
“Good. Rob mentioned you’d done some hiking. Ever climbed before?”
“No. This is a first.”
“Then I’m going to have you wear the harness. It’s not a hard climb, but since it’s your first time I want to be sure we cover all our bases. Safety first!”
“What exactly does that entail?”
“Well, come here and I’ll show you.”
Sam moved forward towards Gary’s voice. The other man took that as all the invitation he needed to begin describing exactly what the process looked like and how the equipment functioned, placing each piece into Sam’s hands as he went. By the time Sam was stepping into the harness and buckling everything up, he actually felt pretty secure about the whole venture.
Gary positioned him in front of the rock face and said, “Now, you’re going to climb. Reach up above your head with your right hand. There’s a hold about eye level. Use that to brace yourself and find a good foothold. There’s one about at your knee directly in front of you.”
Gary walked him through the first few holds. When the directions ran out, Sam froze. He couldn’t see to find the next one. He felt a gentle tug on his rope.
“Relax. You’ve got hands and feet. Just find the next hold. This is an easy climb and there aren’t many dead ends.”
Sam reached out with his right hand, feeling the way the rock had formed until he found a ledge he thought would hold his weight.
“Come on Singer. I’ve got your rope. Even if you slip, you’re not going anywhere.”
Sam tightened his grip and started exploring with his foot for the next hold. When he found it, he leveraged himself up and did it again. And again. He was never entirely sure of what was coming, but as he lifted himself higher and higher, he was starting to feel more confident.
When he found the top of the bluff, he hefted himself up easily. As he crested the top he rolled so that he was sitting with his legs hanging over the edge. Below him, Gary whooped.
“Yeah! Hang tight and I’ll be up.”
Sam let the heat of the sun fall warm on his face as the breeze dried the sweet he’d worked up. He could hear the rustling and clinking of Gary making his way up. In a few minutes, he was sitting down next to Sam.
“That was fast,” Sam said.
“Yeah, well. I’ve done it a few hundred times.”
Sam smiled and leaned back. “I can see why.” It had been a while since Sam had felt the physical pleasure of just working his body. It was the same kind of satisfaction he got from running.
“You know, climbing is one of the easiest sports to get into. You should probably do some indoor ones first with an expert that can teach you some more, but then if you’ve got a rock, you’ve got a challenge.”
Sam nodded. “Maybe I will.”
“Good. Now let’s get you out of this equipment so you can get on your way. I’m sure you’ve still got quite a day ahead.”
Sam snorted. “You know as much about it as I do,” he said as he climbed to his feet and began undoing the straps on his harness. He finished by handing his helmet over. “Do you want help putting any of this away?”
“Nah, it’ll only take me a few minutes. Go on. The main trail is at you seven o’clock. I’m supposed to tell you to, and I quote, ‘find number 14.’ Good luck with that.”
Sam turned toward the path and waved over his shoulder as he set out.
He stumbled on the camp areas by accident an hour and a half later. He nearly tripped over a rope line at ground level then ran straight into someone. The grunt of surprise said it was a woman, but her shoulders said she could probably take Sam out. Sam stammered through an apology as she cackled.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not often tall, handsome men literally fall into my arms. Where you headed?”
Sam’s hand went to the back of his neck. “Number 14, I guess.”
“Ah, do you need any help?”
Sam shook his head. He had just climbed up a rock face. He could handle finding a campsite. “No, if you’ll just point me in the right direction. I’m not familiar with the area.”
“Well, we’re on site 17. If you head back the way you came to the main trail and turn right, fourteen will be the second on your left.”
“How are the sites marked? Is there a trail or are they right off the path?”
“There a short, narrowish path to each of them. There’s a sign post too.”
Sam nodded. He’d thought the path had just narrowed, but he must have forked off without realizing it. “Thanks,” he said.
He made his way back to the main trail and down to his assigned campsite. He took some time to explore the area. It was a wide clearing with a few logs set up around a fire pit. Sam let his pack thump to the ground next to the first upright log he found and continued on. The wood stand he discovered on the very back edge of the clearing was nearly full, so Sam didn’t feel too bad about taking some to build a fire with.
He cast back to the last time they had gone camping, and shuddered. It was the Blackwater Ridge case. The girl, Haley, had built their fire that time.
Sam worked carefully. He built his fire base with as much care as any pyre he’d ever built. The wood shavings Daniel has given him went at the base to get the fire going. Normally he would douse it in lighter fluid, but the kit only had matches and some basic kindling. He skipped the matches in favor of the lighter he always kept tucked in his pocket. When he smelled the wood start to burn he put away the lighter and held his hand low over the area to make sure it had caught. The heat tickled his palm so he started to build up the base with smaller sticks he had collected, and when those caught, the actual logs.
As the fire started to burn in earnest, he pulled the supplies he’d packed just that morning out of his pack. He unzipped the cooler bag, and was relieved to find the contents still cool after his day of hiking. After he had chopped the veggies up, he pulled out the fish and divided it into portions. Then he laid everything together onto the foil and topped it with sliced lemons. He made little foil packets and stacked them neatly on the log as he gathered his discarded pieces and wrapped them up in a spare bag to be tossed later. The rest of his tools he wiped off with a cloth and put away into his pack.
When the fire was well caught, he raked out a small area away from the heart of the heat. He dropped the packets into the ashes and set a timer on his phone to turn them in ten minutes.
Not long after he turned them the second time, he heard a commotion off down the path towards the main trail. He listened and was rewarded to hear Rob’s shuffling steps growing closer. “Sam?”
Sam stood and turned to face him. “Hey, I’m here. We’re getting close on the food.”
“So you made it up okay.”
“Yeah. Who else is coming? The note said five people.”
“Well, Helen is on her way up now. She just had to park and grab the beer cooler. Kevin said he might try to come, and we invited your cousin.”
“Did I hear my name?” Helen chuckled as she trotted up to them dragging something along in her wake. Sam presumed it was the beer. “Man, something smells good. What are we having?”
“Fish,” Sam said. “It’s the only thing I know how to make over a fire. Mind, last time I did this I was eleven and we foraged for all of it.”
“Wait,” Rob said. “Did you?”
“No, I wasn’t sure it there’d be a place to fish and I might have been a little afraid of poisoning us with deadly mushrooms or something. All of it came from the store.”
“I’m not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.”
“Considering the lecture I got in the difference between carrots and hemlock, I’d go with relieved,” Sam snarked.
Helen snorted as Sam heard two more set of footsteps approaching. “You’re skill set is very confusing.”
Kevin laughed as he approached the group. “That’s what I keep saying. What have you done now?”
Sam huffed. “I cooked dinner, like Helen told me to. It’s not my fault my dad was a survival nut.”
The conversation drifted towards the log seating as Sam’s timer went off. He moved to the fire, and collected his tongs. Cas wandered over as he pulled the packets from the fire and stacked them neatly to the side.
“You seem to have had quite the day. Kevin was telling me a little of their plan for you. Was it fun?”
“Yeah,” Sam said, straightening up. “Yeah, it was. I wasn’t expecting it to be, but it was.”
“I’m glad. You look happy tonight.”
Sam grinned. He had done a lot more today than he ever could have imagined when he woke up in that hospital room. It didn’t quite make up for everything that had happened, but just then, Sam was riding the high from all he had accomplished. “I think I am.”
He retrieved the paper plates and plastic cutlery from the top of his bag and brought them over. “Alright. Come and get it,” he said with a grin.
They spent a few minutes collecting food and beers and settling around the fire. Then the clearing fell quiet as everyone dug into their meal. Finally, Helen said, “Sam, this is delicious. I don’t even think I can take credit for this. How did you come up with it?”
Sam shrugged. “I guess you could say it’s kind of a family recipe.”
“Really? I thought you weren’t much of a cook.”
“The only cook in the family is my brother, but my dad was an ex-marine. He took us out one time and showed us how to forage at least some basic things that you can get pretty much anywhere. This is the same thing just from the store and spruced up a bit.”
The atmosphere was light and had a celebratory air to it. Sam was starting to feel relaxed and comfortable for the first time in months. Cas settled at his side. He didn’t say anything, but it was nice to have a little piece of his family close to him, especially on a day like today. He hadn’t expected to have a reprieve like this. He hoped Cas was enjoying it too, but didn’t want to spoil the mood by asking.
Instead, he set aside his empty plate and said, “So I’ve got to ask. Why hiking?”
Kevin cleared his throat across the fire. “Everyone here knows that you were hiking when you had your accident. Since it wasn’t directly related to losing your sight, we wanted to show you that it was still accessible to you now. Dr. Singleton has a thing about making someone’s final challenge personal to them.”
“Yeah,” Rob said. “And you’re pretty tight lipped, Sam. So we improvised based on what we knew.”
“Wait, everyone gets a personalized challenge?”
“Well,” Rob said. “Sort of. It always has a few common elements like making purchases, cooking a meal, navigating in the city - you are proving you can provide for yourself - but we try to frame that in a way that is important to each person.”
Sam digested that. “What other things have you done?”
“Oh a little bit of everything at this point. We had a guy once who ran a marathon. One person surprised the rest of the residents with a dance party. The long term residents who come through as a class often go white water rafting or spelunking as a group.”
“Remember Rebecca?” Helen’s voice was bright at the recollection. “She was a singer. For hers, she put on a recital and held a small reception afterward. She had been blind a few years before she came and that was the first time she had sung in public since her diagnosis.”
“Wow,” Sam said. It was humbling to realize the challenges that people before him had faced. “And you come up with all of these?”
“Not all of them,” Kevin said. “It depends on the case. Sometimes we discuss it ahead of time, like with Rebecca. Things that we know will take preparation or if we feel someone needs to take back that control. For the ones like you that struggle more with letting go, we find that throwing a curveball at you is a better test of your progress.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about today,” Helen said. “If I had told you it was coming, you would have planned everything out. You would have figured out how you wanted to tackle each and every little element before you even went out and tried. It’s not bad, per se, but if we want to see how you are going to handle the challenges you’re going to face, we have to surprise you. We’ve also all noticed you have a habit of pounding away at a problem to the exclusion of everything else. Today was about giving you back a little of that escape that you’ve been denying yourself.”
Sam frowned. The sun was creeping down and the flickering light from the fire had overtaken the shadows cast by the end of the sunset. He knew he hadn’t given himself a chance to rest much, but neither had they. He had thought that the grueling pace had been at their hands, rather than his own. “Did I pass?”
Helen shifted, and her log creaked with the motion. “What do you think?”
“I made it to the campground in one piece and I didn’t burn dinner, so I’m counting it as a win.”
“Notice how those are adding up?”
“Yeah,” Sam said. He really had. He had more good days than bad now. While the knowledge that Dean was out there somewhere was eating at him, he didn’t feel quite so hopeless anymore. He could put on his socks and make his own breakfast and cross the road on his own. He was gaining ground. It might not be the way he wanted to find Dean, but he had fewer doubts that could do it now.
He shook his head. This was no time to be melancholy or introspective. He grinned and pulled his pack around to sit between his feet. “Everyone go and find a stick,” he said as he brandished a package of marshmallows in the air.
Cas grunted beside him. “Is that a reference I don’t understand?”
Sam laughed. “No, I mean it. I’ve got the stuff for s’mores, but you have to pick out the right stick to roast your marshmallow.”
Across from him, Rob grumbled and clunked down his bottle. “Couldn’t have told me when I was sober,” he muttered.
Helen clapped him on the back with a laugh. “Come on, old man. You heard the guy. Put your money where your mouth is. If Sam can find a marshmallow stick, then so can you.”
“What exactly are the qualifications for a marshmallow roasting stick,” Cas asked.
Sam laughed and stood. He grabbed Cas by the elbow and tugged him to his feet as well. “Come on and I’ll show you. Man, I can’t believe we haven’t done s’mores together before.”
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Fandom: Supernatural
Character(s): Sam, Cas, Dean
Pairing(s): Gen
Word Count: 5452
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it’s not mine. If you don’t recognize it, it still might not be mine. Any recognizable places or people have been fictionalized. I am not blind. I do not have any immediate acquaintances that are blind. Any mistakes on that front are entirely my own. If you spot an error, let me know. Research can only take me so far.
Summary: Sam thinks of himself as an intelligent guy. He knows life isn’t usually fair. He knows the job they do is dangerous. He knows for them there are no guarantees or ironclad promises. He also knows that time is running out to find his possibly demonic brother and help Cas. He doesn’t have time for another sucker punch from whatever higher power likes toying with him. He still wakes up in the hospital alone and blind.
Sam found himself making his way down the sidewalk in the pre-dawn light to meet Helen for their last session. It was an odd mix of diffused light from the encroaching sunrise and the glow from streetlights that hadn’t quite shut off yet. He was keeping careful count of every intersection until he found the one that he was looking for. Even as he crossed the street, he could smell the alluring scent of rich, freshly roasted coffee. He made his way up the three steps and through the door. A small bell tinkled overhead as he stepped into the shop, and the delicious smell of baking treats filled his nose.
“Sam!” Helen’s voice called from further back inside the restaurant. “We’re back here. Fifth booth in. There’s three tables between you and the wall.”
Sam navigated around the tables and over to the row of booths. He let his hand skim the backs of the seats, counting as he passed tables. As he drew even with the fifth, he paused and asked, “Is that a royal we?”
“No,” Rob said from Sam’s left. “It’s a team breakfast. It’s about time too. Helen wouldn’t let me order until you got here.”
Sam frowned and slid into the booth next to Rob. “I thought you had another session in the mornings. How’d you get roped into this?”
“First of all, it’s still early. Second, I’m getting a new resident today. They won’t check in until mid-morning so I won’t see them until this afternoon.”
“So no session today?”
Helen laughed across from him. “Don’t worry, Sam. We’ve got plenty planned for you.”
“You know, I’m a little worried that you’re both in on whatever this is.”
Before Helen could answer, someone walked up to the side of the table. A chipper, young waitress introduced herself and rattled off the special for the morning so fast Sam could barely keep up. They all placed their orders and in no time, there was a steaming cup of morning coffee in front of Sam. He took a grateful sip off of it, not caring if it burnt his tongue.
Helen and Rob chatted as Sam felt himself becoming more human. By the time his plate of eggs arrived, he felt like he was awake enough to ask, “So what’s all this about?”
Rob swallowed his own mouthful. “You told me you went to college for a while, right?” He said it as though that explained everything.
“Yes.” Sam wasn’t entirely sure what that had to do with anything. Was college supposed to make him psychic? He winced at the thought. That wasn’t an experience he wanted to revisit anytime soon.
“Well, think of today like your final exam. Don’t worry, this isn’t the kind of exam you can really fail. You’re going to have to problem solve on your own.”
“If you got me up at five in the morning just to be cryptic, I’m going back to bed.”
“Relax. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to like it.”
Sam sighed. “I’m going to hate every second of this, aren’t I?”
“Come on, Sam,” Rob said. “It’s a rite of passage here at Brookhaven. I had to do the same thing. Well, not the exact same thing, but everyone does a solo challenge during their last week.”
“What exactly am I doing?”
Helen leaned toward him over the table. “You’re first instruction is to meet Daniel Johnson over at the hardware shop. He’ll explain the next step to you.”
“I didn’t even know there was a hardware store here. Where is it?”
“Down on Maple. And that’s all we can tell you.”
Sam grumbled as he finished his eggs and coffee, but waved good-naturedly when Helen and Rob both left to get back to the center. He took the last few sips of his coffee, dug a tip out of his wallet, and headed outside to start Helen’s scavenger hunt.
As he stepped outside, he took a deep breath. It was going to be hot and humid today, but for now, it just smelled alive and green. It might not be so bad of a day for a bit of a challenge. Sam struck out to the right. He knew Maple was three streets over.
The shop itself was just around the corner from him according to a helpful passerby. He found the large pull handle and entered. The inside was surprisingly bright and smelled like leather and oil and something metallic. It was comfortingly familiar. He didn’t really spend much time in places like this, but something about it reminded him of Bobby’s house.
“Hi there,” a rich voice called. It was older, almost frail sounding. “What can I do you for?”
Sam smiled and took a few step towards the voice. “My name is Sam. Helen sent me and told me to find Daniel?”
“Ah, that would be me. So you’re the kid they’ve got going up the mountain today. I hope you wore your hiking shoes.”
Sam was internally panicking. He was going hiking? He knew next to nothing about actually doing anything in the woods. The only time he did much of anything was for a hunt and he almost always had a map and a gun with him. “I guess?”
“I’m supposed to outfit you with a bag and some general supplies. Also, Helen said you’d need a cooler bag for dinner tonight.”
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course she did. What exactly did she say?”
“Here,” he said. “She left you a note.”
Sam took the proffered papers and spread them out on the glass top counter between them. He ran a slow finger over the Brailled message. He was getting better, but he was still slow to pick out the shapes, especially in longer words where he had to hold all the letters in his head. It meant his reading speed was infuriatingly slow still.
Sam,
Welcome to your final challenge. Today is your day to go out into the big bad world and prove what you can do. The itinerary might seem a bit thin, but trust me it’s going to be a big day. Kevin mentioned that you miss getting outside so today you’re going to be tackling the upper trail in Crevice Falls Park. How you get there is up to you, but it’s approximately an 8 mile hike from the trailhead to the campground where you’re going to be setting up for the evening. There’s only one split in the path. Keep to your left when you find it.
Last but not least, you’re going to be hosting a campfire dinner for five tonight. If I can offer a word of advice - keep it simple. Rob’s bringing the beer.
Trust Daniel and don’t forget to pack a lunch! We’ll be seeing you around six tonight.
Your faithful drill sergeant,
Helen
Sam groaned and skimmed back over the note. A dinner for five over a campfire? The last time he had cooked in an open flame he’d been eleven and their dad had been teaching them how to forage for food. Sam sighed. He was going to have to go to the grocery. He didn’t hold out much hope of doing better than hotdogs, honestly.
“I take it, it’s not good news then?” Daniel asked.
“No, it’s fine. Helen just like to keep me on my toes. I don’t suppose you could direct me to a grocery store after this?”
“Sure, there’s one just around the corner. Let me get you set up here and then I’ll let Frankie know you’re coming. He can have one of his boys meet you and help you out.”
Sam nodded. “Thanks.”
Sam left the little hardware store with a hiking backpack that held a cooler with an icepack that Daniel swore would keep until well after sundown tonight, sunscreen, bug spray, and the biggest water bottle Sam had ever held before. He’d originally protested, but Daniel had been adamant about the importance of taking enough water especially this time of year. Sam had bowed to his wisdom and walked out sure he looked like the biggest dork in the world.
His next stop was the grocery. He spent a good fifteen minutes debating what he could handle cooking, but he just kept coming back to the memory of John grinning as they ate a meal they had put together out of nothing and how sweet the berries they’d gathered for dessert had tasted.
In the end he decided that if it had been good enough for John Winchester, it would be good enough for the team that had put him up to this on such short notice. The store stocker that was helping him was obviously nervous, but was patient with him as he gathered all the ingredients, ran back for the lunch he’d nearly forgotten to pack, and then remembered he needed aluminum foil and plates.
By the time he finally set off for the park entrance, Sam was already tired. Armed with directions from Daniel on how to get onto the correct trail and Helen’s cryptic instructions, he managed to find the trailhead as the sun was starting to get overhead.
The path itself was wide and mostly unlittered. Here and there he found small ruts where rain water must have cut a channel downhill in some of the steeper areas, but for the most part, it was smooth.
Sam stumbled over a low root he had missed in his sweep and muttered a curse. The path was sloping upwards steeply and he was having to push himself to get up it. It was the most real exercise he had done at once since his stay in the hospital, and he was feeling the lack now. His legs were tired and he was starting to feel a little winded from the constant upward trek.
His morning had been overcast, so it had stayed relatively cool, but now he kept walking through patches of hot sunlight between the overhanging trees. It was only kept from being unbearable by the soft breeze that was sweeping down the hill and cooling him.
It was a nice walk. Aside from being a little out of shape, he was relishing the chance to be outside again. He had spent so much time in the center working on getting back some measure of his independence that he hadn’t taken the time to get out and just breathe aside from the few times he’d gone as part of his training.
Sam felt the ground beneath his feet start to level. His cane found something off to the side of the path and a quick exploration revealed a bench that had been constructed from a roughhewn log. He sat. The bench had probably been designed to afford a view of the lookout, but Sam was just grateful for a chance to rest for a moment.
He pulled his bag off his shoulders. It was sturdy and padded on the back, the kind of bag actual hikers used for real hikes. His gigantic water bottle was tucked into a mesh side pocket. He pulled it out and took a drink. He didn’t know how long he would be walking or if he would have access to more at the campsite he was heading to, so he only drank a little before he capped the bottle and leaned back listening.
The birds were calling back and forth overhead. Further back in the woods something skittered, and a branch broke. The wind brushed through the leaves overhead making a soft rustle and off a ways he could even hear the quiet running of water. The scent of pine and dry leaves undercut everything.
He enjoyed the world around him for another moment then pushed himself to his feet. As much as he would enjoy sitting in nature for the rest of his afternoon, he knew anything Helen and Rob had conspired on would have at least a few surprises, and he wanted to get to bed before midnight tonight.
He followed the path, exploring the edges with his cane. As he got a little further down, he started to hear the rushing roar of fast moving water. He listened harder, trying to decide if it was an area of rapids on the river that he knew snaked a little ways below him or if it was a waterfall ahead. He was so focused on the noise that he didn’t register the change in the surface under his feet until he stepped and the ground was further away than he expected. Sam lost his balance as it undulated beneath his foot.
He jerked his weight back onto his other leg, barely staying upright. He took a few steps back and explored the immediate area with his cane. The dirt path led up to a wooden platform that then gave way to some sort of springy path. It felt like it was made up of boards lashed together. When he swept too wide, the tip of his cane got caught in something to his right that he had to extricate it from. It was a net of some sort made out of heavy duty cable. Further exploration showed him that a rope handrail had been strung at about waist height.
He backtracked thinking he might have missed the proper trail branch but there was nothing obvious within a reasonable distance. If he went much further to the left or right of the platform, he found only a steep drop off.
He stepped forward, testing his weight. The shift of the boards under his feet was still disconcerting. Hundreds of people probably crossed the bridge every year. He was in a major park and the area was fully accessible.
He gave up trying to navigate with his cane and instead gripped the rope guide on either side, checking his step carefully with his foot as he went. For once he was glad he couldn’t see. The long drop down must have been steep, and while he wasn’t afraid of heights by any means, he knew the distance would make his stomach swoop. He couldn’t hear anything up this high except the wind and the rushing water of the falls off to his right.
At one point he lost his footing and he had to brace himself with his arms as the bridge bounced up and down enough to make him feel slightly seasick. When his foot finally landed on solid ground, he nearly collapsed with relief. He took five minutes to breathe like Kevin had shown him and get his heart rate back under control. He wasn’t sure if he felt exhilarated or terrified. Mostly he just wanted to never do that again.
When he felt measurably calmer he shook out his cane and struck forward. The path here was gentle and he felt like he had earned the reprieve. His steps took on a new confidence. He had just crossed a rope bridge by himself. He hadn’t panicked and he hadn’t turned back. He’d made his way across steadily, if not gracefully.
A few more minutes lead him to a fork in the path. He took the left path as he’d been instructed. He had only walked for maybe ten minutes when he realized he was coming up on something large directly ahead. The shade of it was a relief from the harsh sunlight. The broad surface seemed to bounce sounds back at him oddly. He checked to make sure he was still on the path then made his way forward to explore what was blocking the way.
As he reached out, a voice called from behind him. “Hey!”
Sam jerked. He hadn’t realized he wasn’t alone. He dropped his hand and turned back to face the person who had snuck up on him. “Hello?”
“You Sam?”
“Yeah.”
The man grunted. There was something spicy about him, like ginger and pepper. “I’m Gary. Rob told me you’d be coming through today. You ready?”
“Ready for what?”
“Well, you’ve got to get to the top somehow, right?”
“Wait,” Sam said. “Top of what?”
“What exactly did they tell you?”
“Just that I was going to be hiking solo. Is this the end of the trail?”
The guy snorted. “Nah, you’re about two thirds to the end of the trail. No, there’s a long switchback that’ll take you to the top of the bluff or you can go the short way and climb up. There’s a dedicated entry point here for the climb.”
“Wait, climb? Like rock climbing?”
“Unless you want to climb a tree.”
“I…okay,” Sam said. He’d come this far after all.
“Good. Rob mentioned you’d done some hiking. Ever climbed before?”
“No. This is a first.”
“Then I’m going to have you wear the harness. It’s not a hard climb, but since it’s your first time I want to be sure we cover all our bases. Safety first!”
“What exactly does that entail?”
“Well, come here and I’ll show you.”
Sam moved forward towards Gary’s voice. The other man took that as all the invitation he needed to begin describing exactly what the process looked like and how the equipment functioned, placing each piece into Sam’s hands as he went. By the time Sam was stepping into the harness and buckling everything up, he actually felt pretty secure about the whole venture.
Gary positioned him in front of the rock face and said, “Now, you’re going to climb. Reach up above your head with your right hand. There’s a hold about eye level. Use that to brace yourself and find a good foothold. There’s one about at your knee directly in front of you.”
Gary walked him through the first few holds. When the directions ran out, Sam froze. He couldn’t see to find the next one. He felt a gentle tug on his rope.
“Relax. You’ve got hands and feet. Just find the next hold. This is an easy climb and there aren’t many dead ends.”
Sam reached out with his right hand, feeling the way the rock had formed until he found a ledge he thought would hold his weight.
“Come on Singer. I’ve got your rope. Even if you slip, you’re not going anywhere.”
Sam tightened his grip and started exploring with his foot for the next hold. When he found it, he leveraged himself up and did it again. And again. He was never entirely sure of what was coming, but as he lifted himself higher and higher, he was starting to feel more confident.
When he found the top of the bluff, he hefted himself up easily. As he crested the top he rolled so that he was sitting with his legs hanging over the edge. Below him, Gary whooped.
“Yeah! Hang tight and I’ll be up.”
Sam let the heat of the sun fall warm on his face as the breeze dried the sweet he’d worked up. He could hear the rustling and clinking of Gary making his way up. In a few minutes, he was sitting down next to Sam.
“That was fast,” Sam said.
“Yeah, well. I’ve done it a few hundred times.”
Sam smiled and leaned back. “I can see why.” It had been a while since Sam had felt the physical pleasure of just working his body. It was the same kind of satisfaction he got from running.
“You know, climbing is one of the easiest sports to get into. You should probably do some indoor ones first with an expert that can teach you some more, but then if you’ve got a rock, you’ve got a challenge.”
Sam nodded. “Maybe I will.”
“Good. Now let’s get you out of this equipment so you can get on your way. I’m sure you’ve still got quite a day ahead.”
Sam snorted. “You know as much about it as I do,” he said as he climbed to his feet and began undoing the straps on his harness. He finished by handing his helmet over. “Do you want help putting any of this away?”
“Nah, it’ll only take me a few minutes. Go on. The main trail is at you seven o’clock. I’m supposed to tell you to, and I quote, ‘find number 14.’ Good luck with that.”
Sam turned toward the path and waved over his shoulder as he set out.
He stumbled on the camp areas by accident an hour and a half later. He nearly tripped over a rope line at ground level then ran straight into someone. The grunt of surprise said it was a woman, but her shoulders said she could probably take Sam out. Sam stammered through an apology as she cackled.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not often tall, handsome men literally fall into my arms. Where you headed?”
Sam’s hand went to the back of his neck. “Number 14, I guess.”
“Ah, do you need any help?”
Sam shook his head. He had just climbed up a rock face. He could handle finding a campsite. “No, if you’ll just point me in the right direction. I’m not familiar with the area.”
“Well, we’re on site 17. If you head back the way you came to the main trail and turn right, fourteen will be the second on your left.”
“How are the sites marked? Is there a trail or are they right off the path?”
“There a short, narrowish path to each of them. There’s a sign post too.”
Sam nodded. He’d thought the path had just narrowed, but he must have forked off without realizing it. “Thanks,” he said.
He made his way back to the main trail and down to his assigned campsite. He took some time to explore the area. It was a wide clearing with a few logs set up around a fire pit. Sam let his pack thump to the ground next to the first upright log he found and continued on. The wood stand he discovered on the very back edge of the clearing was nearly full, so Sam didn’t feel too bad about taking some to build a fire with.
He cast back to the last time they had gone camping, and shuddered. It was the Blackwater Ridge case. The girl, Haley, had built their fire that time.
Sam worked carefully. He built his fire base with as much care as any pyre he’d ever built. The wood shavings Daniel has given him went at the base to get the fire going. Normally he would douse it in lighter fluid, but the kit only had matches and some basic kindling. He skipped the matches in favor of the lighter he always kept tucked in his pocket. When he smelled the wood start to burn he put away the lighter and held his hand low over the area to make sure it had caught. The heat tickled his palm so he started to build up the base with smaller sticks he had collected, and when those caught, the actual logs.
As the fire started to burn in earnest, he pulled the supplies he’d packed just that morning out of his pack. He unzipped the cooler bag, and was relieved to find the contents still cool after his day of hiking. After he had chopped the veggies up, he pulled out the fish and divided it into portions. Then he laid everything together onto the foil and topped it with sliced lemons. He made little foil packets and stacked them neatly on the log as he gathered his discarded pieces and wrapped them up in a spare bag to be tossed later. The rest of his tools he wiped off with a cloth and put away into his pack.
When the fire was well caught, he raked out a small area away from the heart of the heat. He dropped the packets into the ashes and set a timer on his phone to turn them in ten minutes.
Not long after he turned them the second time, he heard a commotion off down the path towards the main trail. He listened and was rewarded to hear Rob’s shuffling steps growing closer. “Sam?”
Sam stood and turned to face him. “Hey, I’m here. We’re getting close on the food.”
“So you made it up okay.”
“Yeah. Who else is coming? The note said five people.”
“Well, Helen is on her way up now. She just had to park and grab the beer cooler. Kevin said he might try to come, and we invited your cousin.”
“Did I hear my name?” Helen chuckled as she trotted up to them dragging something along in her wake. Sam presumed it was the beer. “Man, something smells good. What are we having?”
“Fish,” Sam said. “It’s the only thing I know how to make over a fire. Mind, last time I did this I was eleven and we foraged for all of it.”
“Wait,” Rob said. “Did you?”
“No, I wasn’t sure it there’d be a place to fish and I might have been a little afraid of poisoning us with deadly mushrooms or something. All of it came from the store.”
“I’m not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.”
“Considering the lecture I got in the difference between carrots and hemlock, I’d go with relieved,” Sam snarked.
Helen snorted as Sam heard two more set of footsteps approaching. “You’re skill set is very confusing.”
Kevin laughed as he approached the group. “That’s what I keep saying. What have you done now?”
Sam huffed. “I cooked dinner, like Helen told me to. It’s not my fault my dad was a survival nut.”
The conversation drifted towards the log seating as Sam’s timer went off. He moved to the fire, and collected his tongs. Cas wandered over as he pulled the packets from the fire and stacked them neatly to the side.
“You seem to have had quite the day. Kevin was telling me a little of their plan for you. Was it fun?”
“Yeah,” Sam said, straightening up. “Yeah, it was. I wasn’t expecting it to be, but it was.”
“I’m glad. You look happy tonight.”
Sam grinned. He had done a lot more today than he ever could have imagined when he woke up in that hospital room. It didn’t quite make up for everything that had happened, but just then, Sam was riding the high from all he had accomplished. “I think I am.”
He retrieved the paper plates and plastic cutlery from the top of his bag and brought them over. “Alright. Come and get it,” he said with a grin.
They spent a few minutes collecting food and beers and settling around the fire. Then the clearing fell quiet as everyone dug into their meal. Finally, Helen said, “Sam, this is delicious. I don’t even think I can take credit for this. How did you come up with it?”
Sam shrugged. “I guess you could say it’s kind of a family recipe.”
“Really? I thought you weren’t much of a cook.”
“The only cook in the family is my brother, but my dad was an ex-marine. He took us out one time and showed us how to forage at least some basic things that you can get pretty much anywhere. This is the same thing just from the store and spruced up a bit.”
The atmosphere was light and had a celebratory air to it. Sam was starting to feel relaxed and comfortable for the first time in months. Cas settled at his side. He didn’t say anything, but it was nice to have a little piece of his family close to him, especially on a day like today. He hadn’t expected to have a reprieve like this. He hoped Cas was enjoying it too, but didn’t want to spoil the mood by asking.
Instead, he set aside his empty plate and said, “So I’ve got to ask. Why hiking?”
Kevin cleared his throat across the fire. “Everyone here knows that you were hiking when you had your accident. Since it wasn’t directly related to losing your sight, we wanted to show you that it was still accessible to you now. Dr. Singleton has a thing about making someone’s final challenge personal to them.”
“Yeah,” Rob said. “And you’re pretty tight lipped, Sam. So we improvised based on what we knew.”
“Wait, everyone gets a personalized challenge?”
“Well,” Rob said. “Sort of. It always has a few common elements like making purchases, cooking a meal, navigating in the city - you are proving you can provide for yourself - but we try to frame that in a way that is important to each person.”
Sam digested that. “What other things have you done?”
“Oh a little bit of everything at this point. We had a guy once who ran a marathon. One person surprised the rest of the residents with a dance party. The long term residents who come through as a class often go white water rafting or spelunking as a group.”
“Remember Rebecca?” Helen’s voice was bright at the recollection. “She was a singer. For hers, she put on a recital and held a small reception afterward. She had been blind a few years before she came and that was the first time she had sung in public since her diagnosis.”
“Wow,” Sam said. It was humbling to realize the challenges that people before him had faced. “And you come up with all of these?”
“Not all of them,” Kevin said. “It depends on the case. Sometimes we discuss it ahead of time, like with Rebecca. Things that we know will take preparation or if we feel someone needs to take back that control. For the ones like you that struggle more with letting go, we find that throwing a curveball at you is a better test of your progress.”
“What do you mean?”
“Think about today,” Helen said. “If I had told you it was coming, you would have planned everything out. You would have figured out how you wanted to tackle each and every little element before you even went out and tried. It’s not bad, per se, but if we want to see how you are going to handle the challenges you’re going to face, we have to surprise you. We’ve also all noticed you have a habit of pounding away at a problem to the exclusion of everything else. Today was about giving you back a little of that escape that you’ve been denying yourself.”
Sam frowned. The sun was creeping down and the flickering light from the fire had overtaken the shadows cast by the end of the sunset. He knew he hadn’t given himself a chance to rest much, but neither had they. He had thought that the grueling pace had been at their hands, rather than his own. “Did I pass?”
Helen shifted, and her log creaked with the motion. “What do you think?”
“I made it to the campground in one piece and I didn’t burn dinner, so I’m counting it as a win.”
“Notice how those are adding up?”
“Yeah,” Sam said. He really had. He had more good days than bad now. While the knowledge that Dean was out there somewhere was eating at him, he didn’t feel quite so hopeless anymore. He could put on his socks and make his own breakfast and cross the road on his own. He was gaining ground. It might not be the way he wanted to find Dean, but he had fewer doubts that could do it now.
He shook his head. This was no time to be melancholy or introspective. He grinned and pulled his pack around to sit between his feet. “Everyone go and find a stick,” he said as he brandished a package of marshmallows in the air.
Cas grunted beside him. “Is that a reference I don’t understand?”
Sam laughed. “No, I mean it. I’ve got the stuff for s’mores, but you have to pick out the right stick to roast your marshmallow.”
Across from him, Rob grumbled and clunked down his bottle. “Couldn’t have told me when I was sober,” he muttered.
Helen clapped him on the back with a laugh. “Come on, old man. You heard the guy. Put your money where your mouth is. If Sam can find a marshmallow stick, then so can you.”
“What exactly are the qualifications for a marshmallow roasting stick,” Cas asked.
Sam laughed and stood. He grabbed Cas by the elbow and tugged him to his feet as well. “Come on and I’ll show you. Man, I can’t believe we haven’t done s’mores together before.”
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