Harry.....
I suppose it would be rather annoying for me to put all that I have to say down in words; so, I'll be brief. As of late, we have had a bad run of luck, which seems to be blamed solely on me (with good reason I assume). Indirectly, I've received news of your lack of interest in maintaining a relationship with me. With as much as I am bewildered and irritated by this news, it comes as no surprise. I've not been as nice to you as you've needed me to be.
You've always been there to lend a helping hand to Brandon, Brandon's family, and myself. For that I am grateful. We've had problems in the past, but we've always been able to work through them, you and I. Now, that leads me to ponder the current dilemma. "What have I done to make someone who has been so helpful and willing to be a friend in the past wish to refrain from doing so any longer," I ask myself.
Of course, the answer is clear, and your reasoning by which you came to this conclusion, or at least consider it, is by its very nature the same reasoning that I would use if I were put in your shoes. What I said on livejournal not too long ago about being happy that the circumstances surrounding your life happened to you was not a jab. I simply meant that you have made something positive out of something very negative. Most other people, myself included, turn their negative experiences into something which they forget or bitterness. As for myself, I mostly focus on the latter.
Being as objective as I can be today, I realize that I have a lot to thank you for. So...thank you.
While you and I do not agree on a few things, or, depending on who you ask, many, we are very similar and share many things in common. I've committed a shameful act in pushing you away. For that, I'm sorry.
Not only for pushing you away, because that would focus on me still because I want you as a friend, but I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. Losing you as a friend, still sounding selfish, will hurt me deeply. Despite my negativity, I do love you. And, because I love you, not being selfish, I do not want you to hurt.
Many of these things that I've done and said, here lately, I have no excuse for. I've been exploring myself, and in an attempt to focus on me for a while, I've made great attempts to push everyone and everything aside. Not only am I foolish for doing so, but I am also very sorry.
Please...let's talk and work this out....I do not wish for you to lose me nor I you.
I'm sorry.
You've always been there to lend a helping hand to Brandon, Brandon's family, and myself. For that I am grateful. We've had problems in the past, but we've always been able to work through them, you and I. Now, that leads me to ponder the current dilemma. "What have I done to make someone who has been so helpful and willing to be a friend in the past wish to refrain from doing so any longer," I ask myself.
Of course, the answer is clear, and your reasoning by which you came to this conclusion, or at least consider it, is by its very nature the same reasoning that I would use if I were put in your shoes. What I said on livejournal not too long ago about being happy that the circumstances surrounding your life happened to you was not a jab. I simply meant that you have made something positive out of something very negative. Most other people, myself included, turn their negative experiences into something which they forget or bitterness. As for myself, I mostly focus on the latter.
Being as objective as I can be today, I realize that I have a lot to thank you for. So...thank you.
While you and I do not agree on a few things, or, depending on who you ask, many, we are very similar and share many things in common. I've committed a shameful act in pushing you away. For that, I'm sorry.
Not only for pushing you away, because that would focus on me still because I want you as a friend, but I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. Losing you as a friend, still sounding selfish, will hurt me deeply. Despite my negativity, I do love you. And, because I love you, not being selfish, I do not want you to hurt.
Many of these things that I've done and said, here lately, I have no excuse for. I've been exploring myself, and in an attempt to focus on me for a while, I've made great attempts to push everyone and everything aside. Not only am I foolish for doing so, but I am also very sorry.
Please...let's talk and work this out....I do not wish for you to lose me nor I you.
I'm sorry.