NEWNESS
its been awhile since i've written on here. stuff happened, mainly Abilify. i've been racing manically through quilts, floorcloths, and etc for house. seems house is coming, barring nuclear holocaust or such. (one never knows.)
told work. now they're only giving me fill-ins, so money is tight. however, when there was money i stocked up on floorcloth and quilting making materials. now i've realized all thats got to stop= there are already enough for two houses. trying to stick to needlepoint stuff. i really suck at needlepoint. doing punch needle stuff right now- finshed 3 small 'pictures' that look nothing like what they're supposed to but look ok as long as you don't compare them to the kit 's picture. now i'm doing a really easy hummingbird pillow cover.
all this encouraged by house. 5 weeks. am marking off days on calendar and moatly forcing myself to pretend i'm enjoying things- just keep going through the motions- because now i'm not lying crying in bed and sleeping all the time i have the clarity of mind to realize the meaninglessness of pretty much everything. makes things boring because if you don't enjoy it...and its meaningless...um, why bother?
even work seems meaningless- most of those people, except for the hospice ones (haven't had and of those in about a year) REALLY don't want you to be around, don't want help dressing, etc. they just want to be left in peace. as its natural to respect someones decision to be left in peace, theres a fundamental conflict in the job with thoise clients
this is what you get when you find better meds. grumble grumble.
told work. now they're only giving me fill-ins, so money is tight. however, when there was money i stocked up on floorcloth and quilting making materials. now i've realized all thats got to stop= there are already enough for two houses. trying to stick to needlepoint stuff. i really suck at needlepoint. doing punch needle stuff right now- finshed 3 small 'pictures' that look nothing like what they're supposed to but look ok as long as you don't compare them to the kit 's picture. now i'm doing a really easy hummingbird pillow cover.
all this encouraged by house. 5 weeks. am marking off days on calendar and moatly forcing myself to pretend i'm enjoying things- just keep going through the motions- because now i'm not lying crying in bed and sleeping all the time i have the clarity of mind to realize the meaninglessness of pretty much everything. makes things boring because if you don't enjoy it...and its meaningless...um, why bother?
even work seems meaningless- most of those people, except for the hospice ones (haven't had and of those in about a year) REALLY don't want you to be around, don't want help dressing, etc. they just want to be left in peace. as its natural to respect someones decision to be left in peace, theres a fundamental conflict in the job with thoise clients
this is what you get when you find better meds. grumble grumble.