Adrenaline sold 200,000 copies by word of mouth
I went to see Terri (therapist) today at 3. Things were okay...I decided i just wasnt going to tell her anything negative that happened to me this last past few weeks because i just didnt feel like talking about it. Well that failed. I fell apart and then she told me that she hasnt seen me this depressed in years.
I woke up today and wanted to die. Like I have felt upset and sad before, but this just controlled me totally. I couldnt eat, i couldnt even lay down. I just feel like im about to either cry or pass out. My mom was walking around the kitchen and i felt like my mouth wouldnt even let me tell her how empty i felt, and if you have ever felt that way it really sucks.
Im sick of missing people and animals. I miss Nick alot...i thought about him alot today. He always made me feel better about things.
After i saw Terri, i went to Shanti to get waxed. I decided to dye my eyebrows black. I really like the feeling of certain pain...and waxing is one of them for some reason it relaxes me.
And just because lately all the good things that happen to me...tend to turn out negative im going to give up on men. I still have hopes for school right now, but men are too much trouble. I REALLY fucked it up with a boy i really liked and i feel horrible. I told Terri that i think i should love myself and be happy with myself before i get into another relationship and she goes "no, i dont really think so" i was like "uh what?" and she told me that I put my life on hold too much, waiting for myself to find happiness, which i feel would be a perfect body, is a waste of time.
basically im just really pissed i fucked it up with this guy.
I really want to be a good person. I worry that im not a good enough person sometimes.
Tomorrow will hopefully be a post of all good stuff, tonight katie and i got hit on by Starbucks men, they ran after her car and talked to us for like 15mins and told us to come back on tuesday. PLUS they like the blood brothers, waxwing, and anatomy of a ghost...sweet stuff, i will post more on this later. Its Friday, james and i will probably hang out, and he always gets my mind off of everything, we have a good time.
I woke up today and wanted to die. Like I have felt upset and sad before, but this just controlled me totally. I couldnt eat, i couldnt even lay down. I just feel like im about to either cry or pass out. My mom was walking around the kitchen and i felt like my mouth wouldnt even let me tell her how empty i felt, and if you have ever felt that way it really sucks.
Im sick of missing people and animals. I miss Nick alot...i thought about him alot today. He always made me feel better about things.
After i saw Terri, i went to Shanti to get waxed. I decided to dye my eyebrows black. I really like the feeling of certain pain...and waxing is one of them for some reason it relaxes me.
And just because lately all the good things that happen to me...tend to turn out negative im going to give up on men. I still have hopes for school right now, but men are too much trouble. I REALLY fucked it up with a boy i really liked and i feel horrible. I told Terri that i think i should love myself and be happy with myself before i get into another relationship and she goes "no, i dont really think so" i was like "uh what?" and she told me that I put my life on hold too much, waiting for myself to find happiness, which i feel would be a perfect body, is a waste of time.
basically im just really pissed i fucked it up with this guy.
I really want to be a good person. I worry that im not a good enough person sometimes.
Tomorrow will hopefully be a post of all good stuff, tonight katie and i got hit on by Starbucks men, they ran after her car and talked to us for like 15mins and told us to come back on tuesday. PLUS they like the blood brothers, waxwing, and anatomy of a ghost...sweet stuff, i will post more on this later. Its Friday, james and i will probably hang out, and he always gets my mind off of everything, we have a good time.