I would always ask myself what could have been

[brok3n_insid3]

David and I are back together. I don't really care if people think I'm insane. I love him, I love him so fucking much and I don't know if I could live with myself knowing that I just gave up on him even though he wanted a second chance. Everyone makes mistakes and I've already forgiven him for the most part. Not saying that I'm fine and dandy with everything that happend between us and now that I know exactly what happend and I have no questions, I feel better. I know exactly what happend, and exactly when it happend because I actually talked to Rachel. She's an interesting girl but seriously, she thinks way to highly of herself. She isn't doing ANYTHING with her life what so ever. She wanted us to be friends, well thats what she said but really I think it had to do with her getting on Davids good side and me being completely out of the picture. There is a lot of damage done and David and I both know it. We want to work it out though. If it doesn't work this time then it obviously wasn't meant to be, but if it does last, then good. I don't know she kept saying things like "I know that your trying to replace me with her david but let me tell you something, I have things that she'll never have. I was instantly insaulted when she said that. I'm thinking damn girl you give yourself way too much credit. I may be like her in some aspects but really, I'm not JUST like her. Once she said that he got really pissed and you could just see it in his eyes. He said, "I'll tell you one thing Rachel I've always loved Ari, no matter what has happend, and I know that what I had with her I'll never get from anyone else because she reserved her feelings for ME and ME only." At that point I started to BAWL. She was so stuck on him running out and calling for her and come back when we left, but when he came RUNNING downstairs to catch us he was calling my name.

School has been alright, I've been getting A's on all the tests and everything I've been doing pretty good. Although I just have this way of knocking myself down a few pegs because I don't think I'm retaining any information which isn't true haha. I don't know things have been alright all around I guess nothing too major. I'm just trying to get my life on track.