And all the while i played you for a fool..
I am the most horrible person in the world...i didnt think i could fall this hard...honestly...My insecurities have gotten the best of me and its ruined my day..
Yes, i want to go to prom so badly...yet there is that horrible side of me that says noo...you arent pretty enough or arent skinny enough...i know for a fact i wont look as wonderful as half the girls there...and thats what scares me..
Ive been working my butt off...at the gym.. and eating right.. yet.. i still havent gotten anything out of it..i still feel the same..and again...im searching for something to fullfill that emptyness...and i'll do anything even if it kills me.. which is pretty pathetic...i plan on praying tonight..and im going to email my youth pastor...but still...
Honestly what does it take for a girl to feel.. "beautiful" ...i mean with all these girls gettin surgeries, having eating disorders, hurting themselves...what does it take? all we want is to feel beautiful...to know that there is one person who actually cares...yes...i am a Christian...but i can still feel a bit insecure right? i mean i know God loves me.. duh..but ugh..i feel this is a pointless journal...b.c i know out of all my friends only two maybe three people will read it..
i wanna cry but...i cant.. its like i have no tears...
im prom date-less...i still have to pay off my dress..and ive lost something with a friend...that i feel horrible about..TJ i am soo sorry...im a horrible person...
1st period is gonna be horrible tomorrow..
Yes, i want to go to prom so badly...yet there is that horrible side of me that says noo...you arent pretty enough or arent skinny enough...i know for a fact i wont look as wonderful as half the girls there...and thats what scares me..
Ive been working my butt off...at the gym.. and eating right.. yet.. i still havent gotten anything out of it..i still feel the same..and again...im searching for something to fullfill that emptyness...and i'll do anything even if it kills me.. which is pretty pathetic...i plan on praying tonight..and im going to email my youth pastor...but still...
Honestly what does it take for a girl to feel.. "beautiful" ...i mean with all these girls gettin surgeries, having eating disorders, hurting themselves...what does it take? all we want is to feel beautiful...to know that there is one person who actually cares...yes...i am a Christian...but i can still feel a bit insecure right? i mean i know God loves me.. duh..but ugh..i feel this is a pointless journal...b.c i know out of all my friends only two maybe three people will read it..
i wanna cry but...i cant.. its like i have no tears...
im prom date-less...i still have to pay off my dress..and ive lost something with a friend...that i feel horrible about..TJ i am soo sorry...im a horrible person...
1st period is gonna be horrible tomorrow..