Take me baby, or leave me.
I have so much work to do, it is unbelieveable. And I'm not freaking. But I'm freaking because I'm not freaking. I have a stat midterm I have to study for for Tuesday, and Italian project I haven't started due Tuesday, Jekyll and Hyde to learn, Honors Program starting, Writing Fellows application/course...
Had some quality chatting with Pete...he opened my eyes to alot of stuff I should have seen. But I guess I chose not to. And still, I try to act like its nothing, when really its everything. He is wonderful, I hope he knows how much I care about him. I love you Pete.
States this weekend. Sam won! Hahaaa I'm SO happy for him, got to see my beloved Tony Romm...always a pleasure, love that kid. State-semi finals and all HAHAAAAA Love you Tony. And then I drove Joe, Shane and Sam home, and it's great to be myself with them. And just myself. Not me with somebody. Just me. And I got to Sam's house and his mom asked me in and Todd was there (yay!) and Uncle Neil...HAHAHAA and it was a great time. And I learned ALOT about this summer that I had no idea about. Wow. But I got Sam's senior picture, and what he wrote really means alot to me.
Missed pit rehersal this morning. Just kill me now before Renee and Doug get to me.
Other than that, lots and lots of drama that I'm trying to avoid. I think. Lots of feelings I'm not sure what they mean, lost of feelings I know exactly what they mean but refuse to let them in. Trying to cut some strings, trying to re-tie some strings. Trying to be me, and just me. Let everything go. I'm not going to try to be anyone's friend anymore. I'm not going to try to just be there for them. They want to be my friend, they can come to me. I'm sick of being the go-to girl. Fuck that. I'm happy with me. Well, who I've been lately. But that's who I am really. And that's me. Just take me for me. It's quite the empowering mind set.
Now I'm off to Boland to practice for about two hours for Jekyll and then I'll come back here to start Italian and maybe read over Stat...hahahahaaa not like that last part is really going to happen, but I can try...
Had some quality chatting with Pete...he opened my eyes to alot of stuff I should have seen. But I guess I chose not to. And still, I try to act like its nothing, when really its everything. He is wonderful, I hope he knows how much I care about him. I love you Pete.
States this weekend. Sam won! Hahaaa I'm SO happy for him, got to see my beloved Tony Romm...always a pleasure, love that kid. State-semi finals and all HAHAAAAA Love you Tony. And then I drove Joe, Shane and Sam home, and it's great to be myself with them. And just myself. Not me with somebody. Just me. And I got to Sam's house and his mom asked me in and Todd was there (yay!) and Uncle Neil...HAHAHAA and it was a great time. And I learned ALOT about this summer that I had no idea about. Wow. But I got Sam's senior picture, and what he wrote really means alot to me.
Missed pit rehersal this morning. Just kill me now before Renee and Doug get to me.
Other than that, lots and lots of drama that I'm trying to avoid. I think. Lots of feelings I'm not sure what they mean, lost of feelings I know exactly what they mean but refuse to let them in. Trying to cut some strings, trying to re-tie some strings. Trying to be me, and just me. Let everything go. I'm not going to try to be anyone's friend anymore. I'm not going to try to just be there for them. They want to be my friend, they can come to me. I'm sick of being the go-to girl. Fuck that. I'm happy with me. Well, who I've been lately. But that's who I am really. And that's me. Just take me for me. It's quite the empowering mind set.
Now I'm off to Boland to practice for about two hours for Jekyll and then I'll come back here to start Italian and maybe read over Stat...hahahahaaa not like that last part is really going to happen, but I can try...