patience
it's funny the things that God decides to do in your life...i feel so far away from Him because i've been trying to do everything all on my own...
the fact of me having to wait a year may be because He has much bigger plans in store that i couldn't make for myself no matter how much i tried, or perhaps that's just it; He could be bringing me closer to Him by breaking me in the worst way. today we had quite an unnecessary assembly of which 4 previous PRHS students who have gone off to Universities (ONLY. not one story was different than another) told us all the crap we already hear about "the college experience" on a daily basis. but what hit me was that none of their lives appealed to me. none of them worked, none of them were passionate about what they were studying. it was all merely superficial information about parties and dorms. Although i would give so much to not have to worry about financial problems or responsibility issues, i know that it's good for me. my father told me a story of how he made all the wrong choices and when his dream failed him twice, he was forced to take a job which humbled him and completely broke him. finally, by God's grace, he is now in a position that he feels good about. i think that this is my humbling experience. and even though i hate it, i don't. i know i will feel so much better and be so much more appreciative if i truly have to work my way there. i just need to learn to put my faith in Him. period.
the fact of me having to wait a year may be because He has much bigger plans in store that i couldn't make for myself no matter how much i tried, or perhaps that's just it; He could be bringing me closer to Him by breaking me in the worst way. today we had quite an unnecessary assembly of which 4 previous PRHS students who have gone off to Universities (ONLY. not one story was different than another) told us all the crap we already hear about "the college experience" on a daily basis. but what hit me was that none of their lives appealed to me. none of them worked, none of them were passionate about what they were studying. it was all merely superficial information about parties and dorms. Although i would give so much to not have to worry about financial problems or responsibility issues, i know that it's good for me. my father told me a story of how he made all the wrong choices and when his dream failed him twice, he was forced to take a job which humbled him and completely broke him. finally, by God's grace, he is now in a position that he feels good about. i think that this is my humbling experience. and even though i hate it, i don't. i know i will feel so much better and be so much more appreciative if i truly have to work my way there. i just need to learn to put my faith in Him. period.