This is very long, but I need my friends to read it...please.
I don't know what my problem is. I feel so "wishy-washy," and I don't like the feeling. My roomate and I had a conversation last night, and we finally agree on something: We both hate college. I mean, seriously, I hate it there. I have no friends, I don't do anything, and I feel like my whole purpose there is pointless.
I'm taking classes that I don't need...I mean, I declared my major as musical theatre, but...honestly, no degree will help you get a job in that. You have to be determined, willing, and majorly talented...I just don't know if I am. Theatre has always been my passion, I love it. It's so much fun, and I am pretty good at it. It helps me express myself, but I know I'm not good enough to make it a career, and...even if I was...I wouldn't know what to do or where to start, or even if that's what I want to spend my time doing.
I think, for me...the only reason I thought about working as a professional actor was..not at all for the fame or fortune..but for the people. The experience of meeting and working with so many talented people. To not just watch Bernadette Peters, but to learn from her and work with her, as well as other actors. Just to be able to sit and talk with them...but, as far as the acting part goes, I'm content doing stuff at church.
I feel like I'm going to fall apart sometimes. I just don't know what I want to do with my life. People keep telling me that I have four years to figure it out, but I don't want to waste those four years. I feel like I'm working towards trying to get a degree that I'm not even going to use, and I don't know what degree I would use. Honestly, I can just picture myself being a housewife and a good mother. I don't care about college, and I'm not even doing that well.
There's no one that I have found that I really relate to here. It seems like people are more interested in partying and getting the full college experience, and I'm just not into that. Everyone I've met or tried to meet, is more involved in their own world...too much so to include me. I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me or anything, that's just how it's been...At Tate, I had a lot of really good friends; people I really cared about and enjoyed just being around, but now...I hate it.
I just want to quit. I don't know what I'm doing, and it's driving me crazy. I can't concentrate on the lectures in class...I can't sit there and read the textbooks that they tell us to read; I've tried...but, I just can't...I'm failing classes. It's so hard for me because I can't focus, and I'm just not determined enough...I don't care. If my parents weren't paying for it, I wouldn't go, and that's the honest truth. I've always been told that you should go to college to be a smarter person or make more money, but this sucks. I don't feel like it's worth it.
What I'd rather do with my life is be there for people...comfort them when they're upset...make people's dreams come true. I know I've already said that...but, there's no degree that I can get for that. There isn't a specific job title for that....It takes finances...which, I'm sure you'd say I could get if I go to college, right? I just want to do what God wants me to do...I want to live completely in His will...I just don't know yet what God wants me to do. If you have advice, I'd love to hear it...if not, just please...please pray for me, and...if you don't believe in God, don't pray for me, ok? Because...it wouldn't work. Anyway...sorry this is so long. I love you guys...and I truly, truly miss you all...from the deepest part of my heart.
Love in Christ,
@$#LEY
I'm taking classes that I don't need...I mean, I declared my major as musical theatre, but...honestly, no degree will help you get a job in that. You have to be determined, willing, and majorly talented...I just don't know if I am. Theatre has always been my passion, I love it. It's so much fun, and I am pretty good at it. It helps me express myself, but I know I'm not good enough to make it a career, and...even if I was...I wouldn't know what to do or where to start, or even if that's what I want to spend my time doing.
I think, for me...the only reason I thought about working as a professional actor was..not at all for the fame or fortune..but for the people. The experience of meeting and working with so many talented people. To not just watch Bernadette Peters, but to learn from her and work with her, as well as other actors. Just to be able to sit and talk with them...but, as far as the acting part goes, I'm content doing stuff at church.
I feel like I'm going to fall apart sometimes. I just don't know what I want to do with my life. People keep telling me that I have four years to figure it out, but I don't want to waste those four years. I feel like I'm working towards trying to get a degree that I'm not even going to use, and I don't know what degree I would use. Honestly, I can just picture myself being a housewife and a good mother. I don't care about college, and I'm not even doing that well.
There's no one that I have found that I really relate to here. It seems like people are more interested in partying and getting the full college experience, and I'm just not into that. Everyone I've met or tried to meet, is more involved in their own world...too much so to include me. I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me or anything, that's just how it's been...At Tate, I had a lot of really good friends; people I really cared about and enjoyed just being around, but now...I hate it.
I just want to quit. I don't know what I'm doing, and it's driving me crazy. I can't concentrate on the lectures in class...I can't sit there and read the textbooks that they tell us to read; I've tried...but, I just can't...I'm failing classes. It's so hard for me because I can't focus, and I'm just not determined enough...I don't care. If my parents weren't paying for it, I wouldn't go, and that's the honest truth. I've always been told that you should go to college to be a smarter person or make more money, but this sucks. I don't feel like it's worth it.
What I'd rather do with my life is be there for people...comfort them when they're upset...make people's dreams come true. I know I've already said that...but, there's no degree that I can get for that. There isn't a specific job title for that....It takes finances...which, I'm sure you'd say I could get if I go to college, right? I just want to do what God wants me to do...I want to live completely in His will...I just don't know yet what God wants me to do. If you have advice, I'd love to hear it...if not, just please...please pray for me, and...if you don't believe in God, don't pray for me, ok? Because...it wouldn't work. Anyway...sorry this is so long. I love you guys...and I truly, truly miss you all...from the deepest part of my heart.
Love in Christ,
@$#LEY